cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny, & Maxine Shirts
"Andrea and I walked back up Rock Canyon on Monday morning to get photos of the overthrusting and on-end geology. She was finally starting to feel a little better from the herpes virus and the cold sores. The words `unintentional consequences of independent decisions' came to my mind often this week. I felt so sorry for Andrea and others, and still don't know how to help out. It is natural to protect those you are closest too, even if you love both parties, and I'm sure I have created some of the issues by attempting to support Andrea and to show my love for her. Of course, when someone doesn't feel good about themselves, and fears being cut off themselves if the truth were ever known, then interpersonnal barriers are natural and understandable. I strive to stand back and be detached. Specifically because I do not have decades of emotions tied up in the relationships yet. One thing I am certain of, is
We borrowed Randy's car, and I drove to the Salt Lake
airport and then Andrea drove back to Provo. She spent
the rest of Monday helping Paul and Kate pack. Then
she rode with Kate and Grant to St. George on Tuesday.
She stayed with her friend Carole Hulet, helped teach
English to Japanese students, and rode back to Cedar
on Wednesday with Sister Shakespeare, Carole's Mom.
I got back to the house after dark, and was hungry. So I ate the two remaining Philly Cheesesteak Hot Pockets, because Matt didn't really like them. Sister Schultz, Matt's seminary teacher called, and it was only later I learned Matt had been sleeping (and studying) in the hall rather than going into seminary. On Tuesday we had French Toast for breakfast. I had a salmon sandwich for lunch, and cooked chicken, mushroom soup, and noodles for dinner (the meal some of you grew to fear). Matt seemed to like it.
On Tuesday evening, there was an unexpected call from Quentin Reed, a friend from my two summers in Denver in 1970 and 1973. I had not talked to Quentin since 1973. However, his impact on my life is shown by the fact I have mentioned him in previous Thoughtlets (../9732.html, ../9806.html, ../0044.html, and 0141.html) concerning our playing the guitar and singing together. He wrote Froggie Learns the Gospel (../9901.html, ../0025.html, and ../0221.html) and The Animal's Testimony Meeting, and we jointly wrote: The First Prayer (../0044.html, 0104.html, 0228.html, and 0245.html), The Wooden Shoe (../9806.html and ../9847.html), Celestial Kingdom or Bust, and The Missionaries (../0044.html). We talked for a long time. Quentin lives in New York City, and is on the High Council. He is basically out of work, like back in 1970 and 1973, never married, and is doing some writing. He has been a Branch President, and likes the big city. He is coming through Houston to go to a class reunion in Orange, Texas about the 6th of June, and I anticipate we will be up all night for a couple of nights playing guitar and singing and catching up with each other. This is the night before Sara and Audrey and I have tickets to go to Europe. I am still attempting to find a way to pay for the trip, between catching up on Thoughtlets.
I don't have very many notes about this week. I do know that on Wednesday Matt and I ate pizza and he brought me home some vanilla popcorn from school. Michelle Schmidt called from Park and Ride and needed a ride home for her and Jonathan. I helped Ken Turner with a career night at the Sealy Branch. Matt refused to go to Sealy with me because he knows everything about careers already. I wish I knew how to get past his pride/insecurity. My presentation focused on the geologic (Van Horn Texas layered rock) and seismic (Offshore Mozambique) examples (II Nephi 1:10) used in my Easter talk (0315.html). There were two very touching events which happened that evening. After the presentation a 13 year old chubby Hispanic boy came up to me and talked to me about geology and fossils. I felt like I reached someone, and it felt really good. Then as I was leaving I saw a lady whom I had known when a Stake Missionary at the Columbus Branch. She is a ballerina and a wonderful lady with a very strong testimony. Her husband did not come to church and I never met him. He divorced her. Her shuffle, her stooped shoulders, the lines on her face, the hurt in her eyes, and the deadness in her spirit was almost more than I could handle. I cried most of the way home, remembering how I alone I felt, wanting to help, and not knowing what I can do. Life and love and loss and pain isn't for sissies.
Thursday Matt and I ate hard shell taco's for dinner. I got some good information for the big lawsuit I am an expert witness for. Sarah notified us Ben's job search is over, and he will be going to work in California. Now it looks like they will drive out to California about the 16th of June. Also, Roice sent me an e-mail about his new on-line business, which is at www.gravitation3d.com. It is weeks later, and I have not made it to his site yet. Oh well! Friday I ate a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger and then picked Matt up at school at 1:15. We drove to the airport, and took Delta to Salt Lake City and then to Cedar City. I spent the flight up thinking about parametric driven engineering, which is what Paul is studying and one of the things he is looking at for his Master's Dissertation. I put what I came up with at: www.walden3d.com/paul/parametric_engineering.html for the review of those who might be interested.
While we were waiting at the airport in Salt Lake, Matt spoke to a man sitting across from us and surprised me as he said, `Do I scare you?' The man was immediately on the defensive, and Matt followed up a little bit. It was really interesting how self-assured Matt can be at times, and how insecure he can be at other times.
We got to Cedar on time, visited Heather at the Pastry Pub and then went right to Grandma Shirts' and had a turkey sandwich. Andrea was doing a little better than Monday, and on the whole this visit to Cedar City was still very hard for her. There was a professor who was abusive to Audrey, and Andrea had spent time helping her rework a last paper before graduation, and seemed to be personally taking on a lot of the stress Audrey was feeling. Aunt Sara pointed out how Audrey looked as though she was under a lot of stress.
Saturday was graduation. The commencement exercises were at 9:00 AM. We were at the Centrum at 8:30. There seemed to be agendas. Matt and Rachel left us to go sit with their real Dad, where there were big hugs. Andrea walked Grandma and me over and we sat right in front of them. I'm sure you kids who were there were scared to death there was going to be problems. However, all in all the graduation and activities went very well. Andrea and I went out to take photos of Audrey's SUU Graduation. The digital camera locked up, and so we didn't get very many photos. However, we got to see Audrey. We got to hear the bagpipe players. We got to walk across campus on an absolutely gorgeous spring morning in Cedar City. It really was beautiful, and the bag pipes made it sound really important. It was a neat experience. On the way to find Audrey, Andrea introduced me to Officer Bagley, who, for those that don't know, Andrea dated for a while. He said hi to us as we came back to our seats. All of this, along with having been so sick, was adding up, and it was a very hard day for Andrea.
The commencement service was nice. After the invocation there was a musical selection and the singing of the school song. Greetings from President Bennion, and the student graduation address. There was an honorary Ph.D. degree given to Pamela Atkinson, the same lady who got a Presidential Citation at Paul's BYU Graduation (0317.html). There were also honorary Ph.D. Degrees given to W. Boyd Christensen, Eugene T. Woolf (Mom's arch nemesis and the father of Ronnie Woolf in my High School Class who attempted to compete with the KeyNotes and who told me he has just released his latest album when I saw him in the hall), and Renn Zaphiropoulos. "Dr." Zaphiropoulos gave the commencement address. It was good. The notes on the back of my swallows sheet say:
He also pointed out that businessmen make more than
they give away, and philanthropists give away more
than they make. Andrea has teased me ever since,
saying that at least now we know what I am - a
philanthropist. Then there was the welcoming of
SUU's new Alumni, and a benediction. It was a nice
service.
There were photos taken, people going off so they could take photos, and we all ended up eating the picnic lunch inside. Grandma Shirts was protecting Andrea, Andrea and Audrey and everyone who loves either or both of them were all stressed out, and it was a hard to enjoy the moment. I'm sorry Audrey. The good news is you graduated.
We were back in The Centrum in our same seats for the College of Humanities and Social Sciences Master's, Bachelor's, and Associate's Degrees Convocation at 1:30. The Convocation started at 2:00. Aunt Sara joined us, and, as always, brought some levity and relaxation to the atmosphere. Thanks. Audrey not only received a BS in Political Science, she was a member of Pi Sigma Alpha National Honor Society. Audrey, we are all very proud of you. After the service Audrey found us and formally presented by reading in front of the whole family, and handing to me a Certificate of Appreciation, which reads as follows:
It was nice. And words on a certificate are as
only meaningful as the way we choose to treat other
people, especially those we love.
I saw that President Bennion was about to finish talking to some folks, and so I went down and stood where he could see me. He came over and we had a nice discussion about the Geoscience Repository. After which he walked all the way across The Centrum and up the steps to say hello to Grandma Shirts, and to congratulate Audrey. It was very nice of him. He was tired.
After all of the festivities we went up to Grandma Shirts' house to change and relax a little bit. Audrey came by and we went up to Deseret Book and traded in some of the gifts we got her. When we got back to the house, after dropping some comments about not having her dental bills paid, Audrey was given back a $950 bill for the operation on her hand, which she had not arranged to have taken care of. I also told her I might not be able to afford to take her on the promised graduation trip to England. It is interesting that as I write this 18 days later, I was finally able to close a business deal which will allow this trip to happen, with certain modifications. I wrote this thoughtlet a couple days ago, and have waited to send it until having talked to Sara and to Audrey about the trip. Looks like it is all set and we are going to leave on the 7th of June. Paul and Kate, I'm sure you are wondering why you don't get a trip to Europe. Life isn't fair, and I'm sure there will are trips in our joint future. After spending a little time with us she left for a party with some friends and ended up driving to American Fork. As I read over the words I wrote for Audrey on the 17th of July in 1999, I feel like there are many parts of her song I can't see, and since it was written when Audrey was a lot older than when my biological kids were when I wrote your/their songs it should be closer to the mark. And yet I don't feel like it is on mark. You decide:
We went to Aunt Sara's and Uncle Des' and played
scrabble in the evening. I like scrabble. I
generally don't care to play games, and I do like
scrabble. When we got back to the house I was
reading one of the Reader's Digests (December 2001),
where it quoted Albert Einstein as saying:
Sunday morning we went to the Cedar City 7th Ward.
There is a new Bishop, Bishop Rowley. However, Bishop
Bishop grabbed Matt and had him pass the sacrament,
even though he was not wearing the Aaronic Priesthood
uniform. Sue Mangum gave me words for a possible
Prime Words Stanza:
And a young mother bore her testimony and said:
We had a nice birthday party for Heather after
sacrament meeting. Aunt Sara and Brian came over.
I was pleased. After the tension of the week, it
seemed everyone had a good time. After the party,
Matt and I got dropped off at the airport and flew
back to Houston without any hitches, and mostly
carrying good feelings about Audrey's SUU Graduation."