21January2001 #0104.html

Communication On My Terms

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Dear Paul and Kate, Melanie and Jared, Bridget and Justin, Sara, Ben and Sarah, Heather, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt via hardcopy,

cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Diane Cluff, Maxine Shirts via mail.

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"I received the following in an e-mail from Paul on Monday evening:

`I just got done reading through your thoughtlet. I was just writing to let you know that I am doing better at reading all the way through your thoughtlets. Some in the past have been rather long and so I skimmed them for material that seemed to apply to Kate and me. I know that all of it really applies since you are family. Anyway, I really don't have that much to respond to besides letting you know that I read through everything. My preference would be to hear new developments in your life over the phone. I try to call almost every week. However, I know that you are busy. You have also mentioned that thoughtlets provide a safer medium for you to express yourself. I will do better at communicating with you on your terms (via e-mail). Thanks for using thoughtlets as a way of reaching out to us kids and giving us a chance you get to know you better.'

Paul's comments have haunted me all week. After all, communication requires a sender and a receiver, and is a lecture unless it is bidirectional. The dictionary I used to look up spelling words when I write these Thoughtlets defines communication as `1: an act of transmitting 2: message 3: exchage of information or opinions 4: a means of communicating.' Communication on my terms (via e-mail) implies I am dictating the means of transmitting, the message, the way information or opinions are exchanged, and thus how we find ourselves communicating. I'm sorry. I do not mean to dictate.

It is true I struggle with words, especially when emotions are involved. It is true I am quiet when I am around those I love, and I have a hard time joining in conversations. It is true I will spend hours, and sometimes days, reliving an encounter where I could not find the right words at the right time and in the right way. It is true I find it safer to think through what I want to say, for instance by typing out an e-mail, than engaging in one on one discussion. This is especially true when my emotions are full, and I can not find words to meet the moment. I'm sorry for this weakness. I never realized I was setting the means for communiation on my terms.

However, isn't this what we all do. Don't we all encourage others to talk to us or to ignore us, depending on the feedback we give them. Don't we tease the girls or tickle the boys, only when we get a reaction. I anticipate there is a nice college paper, maybe even a masters thesis, hiding in this concept of communication on my terms.

Monday was the Martin Luther King Holiday. With the recent revelation of `The Reverend' Jesse Jackson's paternity suite, with what I have read about `Dr.' King's kinky sexual activities, as per wiretapes and tape recordings improperly ordered by President Lyndon Baines Johnson, I have always wondered how long and how big the myth surrounding Dr. King would last. Rachel and Matt were out of school. Yet, when I called Heloise Lynn at 8:00 she was in the office, specifically because her son is in a private school and his school does not let kid's off for the Martin Luther King holiday. Everyone I called was at work. The Post Office was closed. It is true Dr. King's `I have a dream' speech was great. It was communication on my terms, and on the terms of millions of others. Despite, or maybe because of great weaknesses, there was great strength. It is also true there has been, and continues to be, too much racial divisiveness. Yet when the morals of a culture, or maybe I should write of a subculture, are best compared to a horny dog, it is easy to see how President Clinton's legacy has recently been summarized as presiding over the `demoralization of America.'

Tuesday also started in the office. I left the office at 11:00 to meet Roger Anderson at the GSH luncheon, where Mike Graul talked about new methods of seismic trace inversion. Roger was not able to make it, and I had a name tag for him right at the front of the pile that said `Roger N. Anderson, Dynamic Oil & Gas Corporation.' Probably the best $35. I have ever spent on advertising and name recognition of a new project. However, Ed Rogers told me on Monday we need to reincorporate Dynamic under a different name than Dynamic Oil & Gas Corporation. After consulting with Andrea, I selected Dynamic Resources Corporation as the new name, and had been making new business cards and logos when I had to leave to go to the GSH luncheon. I went from HESS, where the luncheon was at on Westheimer, to Chroma Energy at Dairy Ashford and the Southwest Freeway. Peter had postponed the meeting from the Monday until Tuesday. Great meeting. I walked out with 7 assignments. Peter is very good at communication on my terms.

I got home in time to go to Young Men's a half hour early and help Andrea set up for New Beginnings. The Venturing Crew played video games, and I went to New Beginnings with Rachel. It was nice, and I left the meeting feeling guilty for not spending more time with Melanie and Sara. Neither of you wanted to go camping with me, and I didn't know how to do what you were interested in. Now Heather and Audrey are in my life, and the only way I know to reach out is communication on my terms, namely by e-mail. And my e-mails are too often a lecture, have turned into too much about me, and are too seldom an exchange of information or opinions. Oh well! Anyone out there have any ideas on how to build two-way communication?

Wednesday morning I finally met with Rick Zimmerman about Dynamic. He was not interested. He thinks I am creating too much overhead, and he wants to hire me to just work directly for Texas Independent. The meeting was at 10:00 and I was 10 minutes late. When I called to tell him at 9:50, he was not in yet, and Sara answered the phone. Sara, it was fun to talk to you. Especially as you had to keep signing off to answer other phone calls. Andrea came downtown and picked up Sara and me in the rain we went to an Italian restaurant for lunch. I was too quiet. Sorry Sara. It was nice. Andrea, thanks for filling the space in times like this when it is not communication on my terms. I was next 10 minutes late for meeting at SGI. I met with the new worldwide managers for setting upstream oil and gas strategy. There were two from the US, one from London, and one from Australia. I had worked with two out of the four in previous lives. It was an interesting meeting, and there might be a little bit of consulting that comes from the meeting. I went from this meeting to a meeting with Dick Coons at his house. I have set up meetings for Dynamic Resources with several potential investors next week, and was starting to set the schedule for our meetings.

Thursday morning Andrea and I had an ARD meeting with some of Matt's teachers at 10:15. The ARD meetings are a formal review of where students in special education are. Matt was moved to a regular English class. Matt, your Mom and I, and each of the teachers and the Assistant Principal are all very excited about how well you are doing. Melanie called at 10:10 needing a tarp. We didn't get to see them, nor to hear about their trip to where Jared served his mission in Porto Rico the last ten days. They just bought a tarp. Christian Singfield in Brisbane and John Pohlman in Reno had been talking to me all week about an investor from Melbourne who was going to come and talk to me and do some due diligence on the core imaging stuff. His name is John Risinger. John is a kindred spirit. He showed up at the house at 1:30 on Thursday, and we got back from Landry's at about 4:30. There was true communication on my terms. He believes in my vision for Dynamic. He is drilling 100 wells in the Illinois Basin in 2001, and it appears he is going to have Dynamic's technologies involved in helping to optimize the probability of their drilling being successful. Very seldom in my career have I met someone I immediately like, who understands what I'm talking about and starts to finish my sentances, and who has cash and projects which tie directly into the stuff I have been working on for several years. I did on Thursday. And I'm sure you will all be reading more about this. In the evening I went to the Ara Lynn Bauman Scholarship Concert as part of Taylor's Coral Department with Rachel. It was really neat. One of Melanie's good friends and her Mother were there. They live back in their old house at the top of Rustic Knowles. I remember how upset Melanie was when they moved away. I did not realize they moved back a couple of years later. I'm sorry I don't remember their names. She is a tall, blonde girl with a round face. I remember having several discussions with them about the church when I first met them. They asked about the six kids they knew, and got caught up on the new members of the family too. They were particularly interested in details about who Paul and Melanie married. It was a neat discussion.

Friday morning at 7:00 was the Veritas sponsored GSH breakfast. The directions in the GSH Bulletin were wrong, and it took me 45 minutes and a cell phone call to find the building. Oh well! Henry Postemetier, formerly of Exxon Research, talked about what is beyond Seismic Stratigraphy, Sequence Stratigraphy, and Geomorphology. It was a wonderful presentation, and directly relates to stuff I want to do in Dynamic. At 10:00 I met with Ed Roger's friend Bob Remey. He is interested in Dynamic Resources and will be talking to his technical advisors on Monday. I went from there to meet Parker Gay, who happened to be in town from Salt Lake City. It was a phenomenonal coincidence (../9715.html). The meeting with Parker and John Risinger went better than I thought it could. Three is tremendous synergy occuring, and it is exciting. John is going to Kentucky this weekend, and he is probably going to be back here for the Dynamic meetings, starting at least on Wednesday. This was definitely communication on my terms. I came home via Sam LeRoy's office. We went over the plans for the next week. I was wiped out when I got back to the house. However Andrea and I went to see `13 Days.' Each one of you need to see this. You need to remember I was 12 and Andrea was 7 when this happened. We did exercises in class to hide under our desks. When they set off nuclear tests in Nevada we could not go out to the playground. These were different times from anything you kids have had the opportunity to experience.

Saturday morning included choir practice. I worked all day. I did take a brief break to drive Matt to the Stake Center for basketball. I did not go to `Know Your Religion' because I had a talk to prepare, I had a talk to prepare for Sacrament meeting today, a presentation for Wednesday's meeting (which I lost because the PowerPC could not handle the size files I put together), web work I promised Peter Duncan I would do (which I didn't get to), and work for Ken Turner and Heritage Gallery On-Line. I'm preparing material to take to Salt Lake and to present to the Deseret Book buyer on a week from Monday, and there seems to be more work than I can possibly complete. I do have the picture of the elephant that was unvailed at the Boot's & Tie Inagural Party on Friday night in Washington D.C. on the web in several places. At http://www.walden3d.com/hgol/Turner/images/Elephant_LG.jpg is the largest image (about 2000x1000 pixels).

Andrea's first talk in Nottingham Country Ward Sacrament Meeting was on Young Women. It was wonderful. All of the YW stood and repeated the Young Women Theme:

`We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him. We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" as we strive to live the Young Women Values, which are: Faith Divine Nature Individual Worth Knowledge Choice and Accountability Good Works and Integrity We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation. (See Mosiah 18:9)'

I had to get the tears from my eyes before I could go up to the pulpit. I talked about prayer. It was my first talk, other than Paul's farewell and about 5 testimony talks, since 24 May 1994, when I referenced the walk to Brookshire. I retold about Corvallis (../9715.html) and sang `The First Prayer' (../0044.html). Both talks were well received. I guess you could say it was communication on my terms. Matt, it was especially nice to have you spontaneously say, `I enjoyed your talk.' Mary Lunt gave me a note after Sunday School which says:

`Roice, I really enjoyed your talk. You are a very special person to me. I know that you are a child of God. Keep that smile!!! Mary'

Matt and I went Home Teaching to Holleman's and Hayden Hudson. Paul and Kate, Hayden's daughter Erica lives in Provo. Would the two of you be receptive to inviting her and Audrey over for dinner on Sunday evening next week? If so, her phone number is 801.812.5832 and Audrey is living with Randy Shirts on weekends while she has her internship.

In conclusion, I thank you for reading these musings, and I hope you will each help me learn how to have communication on your terms, so we can bidirectionally exchange information and opinions. Have a great week."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2001 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.