15 Dec 2002 #0250.html

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

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Dear Paul and Kate, Melanie and Jared, Bridget and Justin, Sara, Ben and Sarah, Heather, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt via hardcopy,

cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, and Maxine Shirts

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"When I was about 12, Mom decided I needed to learn to play the guitar. Doesn't it chap you when your parents decide you need to do something? I doubt if I knew who Elvis Presley was, and I certainly did not understand the impact Elvis was having all across America in the early 1960's. Mom was a very good piano player, we had a record player, we sang all the words to all of the Roger and Hammerstein musicals, and, of course, to records like Elvis Presley's Jailhouse Rock. I expect this is part of the reason why I liked to sing when I would spend hours and days on the tractor plowing fields. I expect the other part of the reason is music resonates with me.

Eddy Carlocker was my guitar teacher (../9731.html). In the 1997 Thoughtlet I mentioned Eddy would fall asleep as he would point to the trebel cleff notes. I did learn how to read the treble cleff. Never did learn how to read the base cleff. I remember starting to play the guitar when I was in 5th grade in Mr. Holeman's class with Randy Shirts. Randy and family had just moved to Cedar. I didn't know it was from Iran, and do not ever remember us talking about him living in Iran, what it was like, and how nice things were in Cedar City, Utah. I had stopped taking piano lessons, because my preception was the piano teacher was so mean to me. And being spoiled, I usually got what I wanted. And guitar from Eddy Carlocker was better than piano from Mrs. Leigh, at least in my mind in those days. Today I wish I could play the piano, as well as the guitar. I had no concept of that the future of guitars was back then.

In the 1960's Sunday night was time together as a family. We would always watch the Kenecott Copper Mine sponsored movie on Sunday evenings. It came on right after the Ed Sullivan show. Because I played the guitar, and because I had a big ego, even back then, it was fun to watch Ed Sullivan and to imagine being `discovered.' Then in February of 1964, on Ed Sullivan, there was a rock band from Liverpool England that sang a song with about one line of lyrics: `I wanna hold your hand;' repeated over and over and over and over. The guys at Nelson Packing Plant and on the farm just made fun of the song because The Beetles simply repeated themselves so much.

However, as kids, we knew better. We knew what was `hot.' The following Saturday there were about 20 of us in Randy Shirts' garage trying out for the new band, The Beetles of Cedar City. I think we must have had most of the High School band, with clairnets, trombones, saxaphones, drums, and the like. I don't remember how, but somehow by the next week the number had dwindled to 5, and Randy Shirts (accordian), Charlie Garfield (trombone and later base guitar and vocals), Ray Gardner (drums, although he had never played the drums before), Dale Hatch (piano and clairnet), and myself (six string guitar) were what was left. We became `The KeyNotes' (../9715.html, ../9718.html, ../9811.html, ../9816.html, ../9826.html, ../9837.html, ../9842.html, ../9843.html, ../9846.html, ../9933.html, ../9935.html, ../9940.html, ../9945.html, ../0002.html, ../0019.html, ../0107.html, ../0126.html, and 0215.html), and then four years later when Dale left the band (not of his own volition) and we were `The Mydknight Hour' (Randy's recommendation for the new band name) (../9715.html, ../9811.html, ../9816.html, ../9826.html, ../9846.html, ../9933.html, ../9940.html, ../0126.html, and 0215.html). Obviously, based simply on the number of references in six years of writing Thoughtlets, this Ed Sullivan Show and the song `I Wanna Hold Your Hand' have had a significant impact on my life.

In PAIRS, one of the exercises Nancy White has participants do is a free-form drawing. In other words, we were assigned to go home, relax as completely as we could, think about the word relationship, and draw what came into our mind. I drew two people holding hands with a bag in the other hand. The interpretation was myself and my soul mate and temple clothes or suitcases off to visit the universe or the world. The bottom line to me was that I wanted to have someone to be a companion and a helpmeet, a female who would let me hold her hand. It is really amazing to me how the drawing made several years ago came to life this year, with Andrea going with me to China, to Nigeria, to New York, to Utah, and monthly to the Houston Temple. One of my most basic fears is the fear of rejection. It is interesting in life how that which we fear most is what often is our lot in life. One of the ways out of rejection is to have someone always there, always supporting, and in my mind this acceptance can be summarized by the words `I Wanna Hold Your Hand.'

Of course, the word `wanna' sounds like a spoiled child who screams to their mother and everyone else doing their christmas shopping, `I wanna get this,' or `I wanna get that.' Too often we each slip into the selfish child mode. We hide things, we sneak, we lie, and most damaging we are truly selfish. And we think others around us don't know. Maybe they don't. Yet God knows. And it does matter when we let ourselves degrade into these negative behaviors. We can not change another person, we can only change ourselves. Blackmail never works, and, for what it is worth, especially not with me. Hopefully I have taught each of you enough that when you find yourselves having fallen down in one of those valleys which come into each and every life (../9709.html), you will look in the mirror, figure out what needs to be changed in your own life, then get up, make the necessary changes in yourself, and get on with the rest of your life. I struggle with this, I am pretty open about my struggles, and hopefully you each see beyond my whining to the results. The results are my intended example. If, along your path, you need someone to lean on, to carry you for a while, or to be there to provide support and help, I hope you will call me and say `I wanna hold your hand.'

Tuesday night was the annual Relief Society Christmas Dinner. They asked the High Priests to serve them and to entertain them. Leslie Hagen was in charge, and she told Bill to get me to sing and play my guitar for the entertainment. So I did. I had thought about it for a couple of weeks, and felt I needed to do something new. So Wednesday morning when Andrea left for her run, and Matt and David were at Seminary, I got out my guitar and wrote plagerized the following song:

`I Wanna Hold Your Hand plagarized by HRN from the Beatles 10 Dec 2002 C G V1. Oh yea, I'll tell you something Am E I think you'll understand C G When I say that something Am C I wanna hold your hand F C C1. I wanna hold your hand F C I wanna hold your hand V2. Oh please, say to me You'll let me be your man And please say to me You'll let me hold your hand C2. I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand V3. On a Sunday evening in 1964 We met the fab four The next Saturday wanting more We opened your garage door C3. We formed our little band It had a four year stand We played throughout the land Like walking on quick sand V4. You were our only groopie At an age to like Scoobie-Doobie And not to be too soupy Dating then would have been loopy C4. But now I hold your hand I get to hold your hand V5. And when I touch you I feel happy inside It's such a feeling That my love I can't hide C5. I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand V6. Oh, you got that something I think you understand When I feel that something I wanna hold your hand C6. I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand'


I did not intend to embarass Andrea. And judging by the redness in her face, I certainly did. I'm sorry. I also sang `I Once Saw a Family' (../9652.html, ../9825.html, ../9836.html, ../9901.html, ../0003.html, ../0037.html, 0218.html). I picked this song because it is about families and I hoped the Relief Society Sisters would like it. However, I had serious reservations, dating back to PAIRS. One evening I took my guitar to PAIRS and sang this song. Nancy stopped everyone from clapping and explained to me the words in the song are not real. The words are a fantasy. She pointed out I have a tendency to escape into a fantasy world when things get emotionally hard for me. I wrote about this of fantasies last week (0249.html). I find it interesting that your Uncle Des grabbed hold of one of my fantasies (namely the nanoribbon space elevator), and spent what looks to me like quite a bit of time proving mathematically that it is possible. I posted his notes at http://www.walden3d.com/space_elevator. There is even a follow-up letter posted.

I recall when Dad died that I felt like part of the song was no longer true. After all Great Granddad couldn't be there to tell stories told before. Then I thought, maybe I'm the Great Granddad, or maybe Paul is, or mabye, it will take a 1000 years for this fantasy to become reality. Who knows what is going to happen, and when it is going to happen. This is why it is important to have someone you can turn to and say, `I wanna hold your hand.'

The last song I sang was my Christmas Song: `The Birth' (../9748.html). The only comment from one of the sisters concerning the songs was from Sister Schultz saying how much she liked this song. So do I. It is the season to stop and realize:

`He was full of light and truth and grace And came to save the whole human race Forsaken sins and a contrite heart And on a new road one now can start.'


And we start on the new road each day the rest of our lives. Wednesday Andrea and I had lunch with Merril Littlewood at the Nara Japanese Resturant. We were discussing what if's associated with Nigeria, China, the Cook Inlet, and some of the other projects I'm working on. One of the concerns is how to minimize tax payments. Another has to do with employees and social security taxes. It is useful to have good advisors. Most of the rest of my week was spent working on the PetroChina project. I have really enjoyed doing this project, and demonstrating how to use the Knowledge BackboneSM and the Infinite GridSM to index and optimize R&D (Research and Development) activities for a world class organization. I got a call about 11:00 on Saturday night concerning some of the material I had sent. I expect there is a pretty good chance my work will not be recognized and valued by the customer the same way I do. Oh well! Another fantasy world that someday others will realize is feasible.

Speaking of fantasy worlds, our Activity Committee sponsored the Nottingham Country Ward Christmas Party a week ago Friday night. I was so caught up in my feelings last week, I forgot to mention it. We had a great turnout (about 150 people). Good food, great entertainment (thanks to the Brannings), lots of other activities (crafts, nativity dress-up and photos, etc.), and I took a bunch of digital photos of the evening (see http://www.walden3d.com/ncw_christmas). This week Andrea, Matt, and I went to see a play at the Wortham Center for Matt's Theater Class. The play is titled `A Greater Tuna Christmas,' and I had been so focused on the PetroChina project, I kept falling asleep during the performance. It is amazing how many different folks the two actors dressed up as and how the kept the audience laughing for about 2 1/2 hours.

We had the ninth annual joint Christmas Concert with The Epiphany of the Lord Catholic Community last night. The music and the program were a little too `technical' for my taste. Lots of orchastra, hand bells, harps, children's choir, in addition to the singing. The program was (* = my favorites):

`Welcome and Invocation: Monsignor Jack M. Dinkins *Love Knows No Borders Let Creation Praise! Advent Carol *Tell Out My Soul Baby What You Goin to Be God Rest You Merry Gentlemen The World Was Waiting What Shall We Give *Bring A Torch, Jeannette, Isabella There shall a Star from Jacob Come Forth *The Heavens Are Telling *Do you Hear What I Hear *Silent Night Carol of the Bells *Hallelujah Chorus (Beetoven) Benediction: President Michael D. Pickerd'


My `hot' things have changed from when I was a child. And yet note how they haven't changed. Instead of kids trying out to be the next Beatles band in Randy Shirts' garage, my 1928 Wyllis Whippet is there. Carl and Paul Nelson helped Russell Shirts put it there the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We called Russ this week to find out if the car was moved out of Aunt Mary Mae's garage, since she called a few weeks ago saying it was in her way. I had thought Leon was going to refurbish it, as we discussed when he took it from Dad's garage when I moved a lot of my stuff back to Houston (../9725.html). Oh well! I thought Leon had been paying storage costs for it (0220.html), and I guess not. Oh well! Leon did call after I talked to Aunt Mary Mae, and offered to buy the car. I told him `No thank you.' Maybe if Russell gets it working, and if Rachel stays at SUU, it can be transportation for her when she needs a nice car for something or another. Of course, the garage could burn down and the car remains end up in the junk yard. How often do we predict this kind of what if, and by thus predicting, start on the road towards fulling this prophecy. I hope none of you kids get into this kind of a habit. I hope you dream of the day you can ride in the old car in a parade, and that until that time comes you can always turn to someone you love and, like I can and do honestly say to Andrea: `I wanna hold your hand.'"

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2002 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.