cc: file, Diane Cluff, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Sara and Des Penny, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, and Lloyd and Luana Warner.
"Cousin Diane sent a nice note this week. I was going to start this Thoughtlet with a quote from her note. However, there are 171 messages in my mail box (again) and sometimes messages get deleted by the system when it gets that full. Since her message is no longer there I will paraphrase my memory's version of the part of her note relative to the Holidays. Roice spent Thanksgiving with her family. When Diane found out Roice was leaving for Singapore on Friday and not returning until after Christmas, she expressed how sad this was. Roice said something to the effect he really didn't want to be in Houston the first Christmas after the divorce. Reading this got me thinking about the holidays and all of the stress there is at this time of year. Diane also pointed out how hard the Christmas after her parent's divorce was for her.
I was pretty stressed out about Thanksgiving and was going to just go to Utah and spend it with my Mom and Sara's family. Then I discovered your Mom's plans to spend Thanksgiving with friends in the Washington D.C. area. Although I did not handle the phone call where I learned about these plans very well (I have since gone over and apologized), I thought Thanksgiving turned out pretty good. I was especially pleased Sara had several of her friends over one evening and asked me to be `the cooker.' It was Saturday the 22nd when I learned Ben, Sarah, Melanie, and Sara were going to College Station for bonfire. I did not know until Wednesday night what Ben and Sarah's plans were. I'm sure I was not the only one who felt some stress over the weekend. For instance, when I made Rob go to the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning and buy whipped cream (since he ate what I had bought and I needed it to mix with the lime jello and pomegranates and almonds for a salad). All in all, Thanksgiving was a pretty good experience. One thing I think we all need to do better is to communicate our plans more clearly, so everyone knows what everyone else wants to do.
Wednesday night about 10:00 PM two of Roice's friends from High School, Rick and Ankur, came by to say hello. We ended up talking until after 2:00 AM. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. They told me about their schooling (Rick's in law school and Ankur is going into Medical School). We talked about Roice, his company, and his job in Singapore. I don't know too much yet, and can hardly wait to post photographs of his first building with one of these Thoughtlets. As all of you kids except Paul know, Roice called on Wednesday the 26th. He said that his birthday, the 25th, was the absolutely worst day of his life. They packaged the building up in a big container, and when the fork lift picked it up the container bent. The container was suppose to be able to handle 8,000 pounds and they only had about 6,000 pounds in it. Everyone needs to get Roice to tell them this war story when you next see him. It might even be funny looking back. Rick and Ankur asked about the divorce. Rick told me about how important family is to me. It was nice to hear someone else knows this. He told me about his German girlfriend. He talked about how they had been discussing religion.
Rick is Moslem and Ankur is Jain (a very old branch of Hinduism). I told them about some of the common characteristics between the LDS church and their religions. Like the Moslem's `Mormons' have `a book,' `a prophet,' `a belief in Christ,' and `a health code.' Like the Jain's `Mormon's' believe in a trinity of separate Gods. What we know as God, Jesus Christ, and The Holy Ghost, they call Krishna, Vishnu, and Shiva. Jainism also has a `health code.' I read them the Joseph Smith story, and some quotes out of a book I have been reading about recent documentation and discoveries relative to the authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Rick was very perceptive in recognizing where `Mormonism' sits in it's maturity and comparing it to where the Moslem Religion was about a millinium ago. At one point I suggested he and his girlfriend could solve the religious questions by both converting. I gave them both a copy of the book Project Mind, and explained it was written by a Kaballast Jew. Ankur was quiet, with very insightful comments. Rick said how neat it was he could talk to me about anything, just like he can talk to Roice. It was a fun discussion. Fun because it was about some of the meat of life. It reminded me of my experience in Corvalis, Oregon.
It reminded me of the pain I felt my first Holiday Season after my mission. In an interview on my mission, one of the General Authorities had told me that if I served a faithful mission my parents would become active in the church when I returned. My Mom and Dad were no more interested in the church after my mission than before. In fact, because of all of the stress associated with recovering from shutting down Nelson Meat Packing Plant and Mom's work at CSU (The College of Southern Utah, later Southern Utah State College, and now Southern Utah State University), that Holiday Season was as taught as a guitar string tuned an octave high. I didn't help with my desire for Mom and Dad and Sara to know what I had found and internalized in England on my mission. I finally snapped and just took off for Calf Springs Ranch the day before Christmas with my $15 guitar from Warez, Mexico.
I hiked back into the Ranch in snow up to my waist. I made a fire in the fireplace at the main cabin, cooked myself a steak, read a short book on the life of Christ, and proceeded to play the guitar. Over the next 24 hours I wrote the following:
On the 23rd of July 1973 I added:
After I had written the basic outline of this song, named `The Birth,' I packed up my sleeping bag and guitar and hiked back out the six miles to the car. I got back to Cedar Christmas eve, and we made it through the Holidays. There were a couple of times this Thanksgiving weekend I felt some of you kids felt the same way I felt back in 1972.
As I reflect on this weekend there were some real high points for me. I actually enjoyed cooking, and thought it all turned out reasonably good, even if we forgot to get the yams out of the microwave and had store bought pies. Melanie and Loren spent some time just talking with me. I answered questions, and tried to read the first story out of Lyman Hafen's book `In The Shade of the Cottenwoods.' Memories of my youth and the powerful stories written on and in the rocks of Southern Utah turned my emotions on. Loren must think I am a real dork not being able to read this simple short story without crying. Rob wanted to take the Verticalville puzzle apart and rebuild it. We took it apart. Melanie and her friend Maria helped Rob and I put it back together. This was fun. Sarah Johnson is a jewel. She helped in the kitchen and is always so happy. Ben snuck up on me and gave me a great big bear hug.
There were times I almost forgot the pain and emptiness I usually feel these days. I hope you kids had a good time too. I hope as we move towards the second half of the Holidays it will go even smoother. Since your Mom has you for Christmas, I am going to go out to Utah and visit my Mom and Sister's family for Christmas. I asked Melanie if she would like to go out there or go to Disney World or do something else with me. She said she just wanted to stay in Katy and work. Based on my check book, this is no doubt the best plan. I will plan to get back to Houston on Friday the 26th and would like to know anything you all would like to do with me during the time the court allows me to spend with you. I hope if we talk about plans and what we would like to do in advance, the Holidays will be smoother and happier for all of us."