"I brought the computer home almost every evening this week to work on the Adolph Hafen Family Pages. I'd actually stopped working on the Book of Mormon pattern finding project on Saturday the 20th of August, in order to complete documentation of the genealogy records I have on Grandpa Hafen's family, and send it to Utah for the Hafen Labor Day Reunion since we won't be going this year. Not putting any more money on credit cards, meeting tuition payments for Rachel and Matt, and meeting our ongoing expenses has tightened our finances to where it is not at all comfortable. Oh well! As I've been reading in Adam's Smith's `The Wealth of Nations,' written in 1776, this approach is the basis of prudence and the opposite of the prodigal. It is hard to admit I've been a financial prodigal, and yet it is easy to see we have no savings and cash flow has been tight since before Marti left me. Oh well!
To top this off, there were some strong words said in some of
the phone calls to you kids on Sunday night. It seems when
one is down, others sense it and kick the downed person. As
I was riding in my car pool with Carlos and Lizabeth on way
to work Monday morning, I created a chart, to the right
, which summarizes my thinking on
these phone calls. The basic idea of this chart is to put
into perspective the role of our relationship with our parents
and our personal self-sufficiency. I admit I plotted
where I think each of the 10 of you fit on this spectrum at
this time. However, more important, I plotted where I have
fit most of my life: it is in the yellow judgmental quadrant.
Up through my Dad's death, I was still blaming problems and
perceptions on my parents, especially my Mom. And I probably
still unreasonably blame my Dad for the way I handle finances.
So how can I complain when you kids say strong words blaming
Andrea or me for stuff that has little in any basis in reality?
In reality, all we can do is love you, and hope you see how
much we love you sometime before we die. If not, I know there
will be a point in time and space where this knowledge will
become manifest. Just as my work on the
Adolph Hafen Family
Pages is a way of manifesting my love, my mother's love,
and my grandfather's love for his father, Adolph Hafen, and his
family. The strong emotional feelings of love as I have read
about family members, even if it is only the birth and death
dates of their children, is almost overwhelming. Hopefully
someday those of you who are hurting so badly, and who live
in the anger, judgmental, or insecure quadrants, will recognize
our love, and it will be a ladder helping you climb into the
self-sufficiency quadrant.
Tuesday morning I called one of our more self-sufficient children, Sara Ellyn, at 7:00 AM and sang happy birthday at 7:00 AM. She was already at work and was making pink pancakes with pureed strawberries. She told me how she remembered when she would not eat pancakes unless they were pink and that Dad made her pink pancakes so she would eat breakfast. Maybe I did some things right, and am not such a terrible person, after all. She had a nice dinner set up for the evening at The Grill in The Dreskel, where she works, and so we agreed to drive up Saturday afternoon after she got off work and to take her out to dinner. When she told us about her 16 course dinner, and how it was worth some $480, of which they only paid $80, I was more than slightly impressed. It sounds like she has made good friends, and that they are helping her to adjust well to Austin.
This was the last week on getting six tiles delivered for August, and so work was quite busy each day. And each evening I came home and worked on the Adolph Hafen Family Pages. There are respites each day. For instance, on Wednesday evening I read the following e-mail from Steve Shirts:
Each night as I would work on documenting the Adolph Hafen Family Pages, and specifically building Family Group Sheets and Pedigree Charts, I became more and more fascinated with all of the data which has been collected by my family. And every twice in a while there would be a typing error, and I'm sure I have only found a few of these. Hopefully some of you will become interested in this effort and will help me find the errors. On Wednesday, I wrote on the back of my swallows sheet about an error in the birth date of Anna Baines, which should have been 10 April 1662.
On Thursday I sent an e-mail to John Benard, which I closed with the following words:
There was an e-mail from one of Andrea's walking ladies, which could be of great benefit to several of you over the coming years:
Friday, when I stopped to pick up flowers for Andrea (which she has told me to stop doing until we have our finances under control), I also purchased a couple of bottles of vitamins: Fish Oil and Vitamin C. Maybe the fact I follow my Dad's example and take some vitamin's every day is the reason Mike Reed said, `Roice, you never change' (0534.html). Friday evening was spent working on the Adolph Hafen Family Pages.
Saturday morning I finished mowing the lawn by 8:30 AM, cleaned up, and spent until about 2:00 working on the Adolph Hafen Family Pages. Then Andrea and I drove to Columbus. We started off having a nice conversation, and then our interaction with President Bennion and his wife at the Cedar 7th Ward (0531.html), and it seemed like the right time to tell her how much her comments and reaction at that time hurt. I hope I'm not as self-centered as Andrea then told me I am, and yet the fact I continue to write these Thoughtlets, when the only folks I know still read them are Melanie and Paul, illustrates an over amount of self-importance. Oh well! We stopped and had a nice visit with Ken Turner. He is doing a painting for the Hilton School of Hotel Management at The University of Houston. Andrea brought out the papers for the official dissolution of `Heritage Galleries On-Line' (../9834.html, ../9905.html, ../0009.html, ../0010.html, ../0022.html, ../0029.html, ../0036.html, ../0102.html, ../0104.html, ../0105.html, ../0210.html, ../0216.html, ../0245.html, ../0247.html, and ../0341.html). As this milestone was completed, Ken's new partner, a Mr. Chapman and his wife, drove up. It was fitting. We loaded Sara Ellyn's Prime Words painting into the Saturn, and her African painting which Ken had stretched for her, and drove on to Austin.
We talked to Roice a couple of times after we got in the car. He and Sarah Elizabeth drove up into the hill country to do some telescope viewing, and so we did not have a chance to see them. Sara Ellyn gave us landing instructions over the cell phone, and we drove right to her apartment. We unloaded the end table and bread maker from Rita Hawthorn's daughter, the two paintings, and some small birthday presents. Sara had some chocolates sitting out, and, showing how I sometimes still live in the yellow quadrant of the chart at the top of this Thoughtlet, I ate too many, blaming my actions on a family history of addiction. We helped to hang the two paintings, and went out to a lovely dinner at a Colombian Restaurant. Good food, good conversation, and we finished in time for Sara to go to her friend's cousin's birthday party and for us to get back to Houston by about 12:00 PM.
Sunday was a big day for Nottingham Country Ward. We got a new Bishop. Andrea and I first learned about the change on Monday morning when the Bishop's daughter Heather came into seminary and told everyone, `I have an announcement for those in Nottingham Country Ward! My Dad is no longer the Bishop!' Andrea and I were both surprised at this departure from normal church procedure. However, it turns out the Home Teachers had been instructed to tell their families. Although, I was not told, either as a Home Teacher, nor by my Home Teacher. On Thursday, George Schultz stopped by my office to talk, and he mentioned the change. As Stake Executive Secretary he knew who the new Bishop would be, and I think he wanted to tell me, and knew it was not appropriate. He did tell me that `the one common denominator he has seen in the Bishop's he has known is that the Bishop's children are perfect.' He went on to say that `this is probably because it is true that the best way to call a good Bishop is to look for the most spiritual woman in the ward, and then call her husband.' Based on this, I thought the new Bishop would be Alan Peterson, since Aaron had just been married in the temple (0534.html). Guess this shows how little good it does to speculate. The new Nottingham Country Ward Bishop is Bishop William (Bill) Harlin.
When President Pickard stood up to talk, prior to calling the new Bishop, he read from I Timothy 3, specifically:
Certainly the experience once again brought out my own feelings of inadequacy, and the big "D" I will wear on my chest for the rest of my life. Oh well! From Bishop Vaughn Camp's testimony prior to his release as Nottingham Country Ward Bishop in Sacrament Meeting on the 28th of August 2005, I wrote:
When we got back to the house, I continued to work on the Adolph Hafen Family Pages. It took me until Tuesday night, the following week to get everything put together and to send the following to Rick Hafen and Bob Moss:
http://www.walden3d.com/hafen/images/Hafen_Pedigree_Chart.gif or http://www.walden3d.com/hafen/images/Hafen_Pedigree_Chart.jpg
And thus ended my week, with it's focus on the Adolph Hafen Family Pages."
