23Apr2000 #0017.html

Hurt

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Dear Paul, Melanie and Jared Wright, Bridget, Rob, Ben and Sarah, Sara, Heather and Nate Pace, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt via hardcopy,

cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Diane Cluff, Maxine Shirts via mail.

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"I accidentially hurt myself several times this week:

  1. I kept scratching the chigger bites from the Venturing-Laurel campout at Ken Turners and ended up with about 10 quarter inch scabs on my legs, all about where the top of my stockings were.
  2. I was stepping up onto the Park 'N Fly shuttle bus at Bush Houston Intercontinental Airport Tuesday evening, missed the step, caught myself with the bag that was on the second step, and accidentially kicked the bottom step mid shin. The result is a four inch diameter bruise, centered around one of the bite scabs.
  3. Matt and I were playing basketball Thursday evening and I was getting tired, missed a rebound, had the ball hit me in my glasses near the left temple, knocking my glasses to the ground and just under Matt's feet, so there was a big series of scratches on one of the lenses. We stopped playing, and I didn't feel very hurt.
  4. Andrea and I decided to not go up to Dallas to Tiffiny and Matthew's wedding because:
    1. I needed to fix my glasses;
    2. Rachel wanted to stay and go to Galveston with her friends;
    3. we had not made arrangements for Matt to stay anyplace, and did not think he would like 8 hours of driving and the sitting around while we were in the temple; and
    4. there was a lot of yard work and other work to do at home.
    It hurt inside to call Ben and Sarah and tell them we were not going to be able to come and visit.
  5. I was using the electric hedger to trim the tops of the hedges. I had done the front, the side of the backyard by the three pine trees, the back fence, and was just finishing up by the greenhouse when the ladder slipped, the hedger found the end of my forefinger on my left hand and split it end on about 4 millimeters down into the fingernail, and equivalent distance through my guitar callous. It took 5 stitches, one holding the fingernail together, and was my first visit to the new St. Catherine's Emergency Room just across Kingsland Boulevard. More about this later.
  6. Because Dr. Blair's office was closed for Good Friday, and because we had a discount at Sear's, I went to West Oak's Mall and was able to get in to see the optometrist just before she left. I hurt my finger opening the car door, and realized it is going to be a long few weeks until the stitches are ready to come out. As the optometrist examined me, she kept shining the light in my left eye. Then she would look in one eye, back to the other eye, then back to the first. She said I should go back to the emergency room because:
    1. my left pupil was dilated, and
    2. the optic nerve was swollen, as if there had been a truma, or possibly an aneurism. An aneurism is a permanent dilation of a artery blood vessel, and is the cause of strokes.
    When I told her I was going to Iowa on Monday, she said `I would not fly on an airplane with that if I were you. Her words hurt, and she was not trying to be mean. More about this later.
  7. Rob, I was hoping to do something with you this weekend. You weren't home when I went by, and either weren't home or didn't answer the phone because you were asleep when I called. Rob, it hurt to not be able to spend time with you Easter weekend. Rob I miss you, and I worry about you.

So I guess that is at least a superficial summary of a week worth of hurt. It usually seems hard when it rains or when we hurt for some reason or another. Yet rain is what allows the wildflowers, as well as domestic flowers to grow. When we hurt it creates a difference, a disparity pattern, in our mind. When we recongize the difference we have a basis for making decisions about our future. We can keep doing what we have been doing, which was the cause of a hurt, and thus get hurt again, or we can change our behavior or our attitude. For instance:

  1. If I would have listened to Rachel and not scratched the chigger bites, I would not have big scabs on my legs now.
  2. If I would have been more patient at the airport, and not walked up in back of three buses to get on the Park 'N Ride bus first (in front of about 50 people waiting in line), I would not have slipped and hurt my shin.
  3. If I would have stopped playing basketball when I got tired, I would have not had the accident with the basketball.
  4. If I called Ben and Sarah (and the rest of you who live someplace else), I would not feel like missing the planned visit was such a disaster.
  5. If I would have asked someone to steady the ladder, like Andrea did of me when I got back from the emergency room and she finished what I started, I would not have stitches in the end of my finger.
  6. If I had asked more questions of Dr. Blair over the years he has been giving me eye exam's, I would have known my eye condition is congentital, probably dating back to a long birthing process.
  7. Rob, if I did not come across as being so judgemental and strict, and if I better showed how much I love you and how proud I am of how good you are doing in a difficult situation, you would possibly not avoid me so much and I would be able to help you more.

Isn't it interesting how we all get hurt? Whether it is our bodies, our feelings, or our things, it is still a hurt. I don't mean to imply by my second list of seven that we can, nor that we should, strive to avoid any semblance of being hurt. Getting hurt is part of life, and part of the test. The test is how we react to being hurt. Can we turn the other cheek? Can we forgive when we are hurt? Can we go the extra mile to help our neighbors? Can we love?

It seems appropriate on Easter Sunday to recall that Jesus grew up a carpenter's son. Surely he hit his thumb with a hammer or cut his finger with a chisel. In fact, Isaiah 53:3 points out `He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.' Christ certainly hurt in the Garden of Getheseme, as he took on your sins and mine. Imagine how much it hurt to have the nails driven into his palms and wrists and to be hung on a cross to die. And what we can learn is from how he reacted. `Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.' (Luke 23:34)

So besides being hurt, how was my week? Pretty good. I left for New Orleans right after Matt caught the bus and drove right to Park 'N Fly at George Bush Houston Intercontinental Airport. Usually I have taken Southwest out of Hobby to go over to New Orleans. As I checked in, there were two members of Nottingham Country Ward on the same plane: Mark Beckstrom and Steve Saatkamp. Mark and I shared a cab into downtown New Orleans. I got to the convention center in time to listen to Daniel Yergin give a keynote speech at an AAPG luncheon. I learned that South Korea is the 6th largest oil consuming nation in the world, that borders of every kind are coming down because of e-business and other disruptive technologies, and that the boom in the gas industry will continue with $3.00/MCF gas possibly going to $4.00/MCF (Million Cubic Feet) by summer if we have a hot summer. I spent Monday and Tuesday going to all of the poster presentations, and visiting each of the booths. There is a strong perception in the market that the Texaco spinout, Magic Earth, is competing with Continuum directly. Monday after the show I went back to my hotel room, in the Hampton Inn across from the Convention Center, and fell asleep. I woke up about 8:00 and went down to the Riverwalk and got some gumbo and a catfish poorboy. The most important thing I saw on Tuesday was the Phillips Seismitorium, which has been licensed exclusively to FakeSpace. I had thought it was just a toy, and I was pleasantly suprised at how good it works. I also went to the AAPG Visiting Geologist breakfast and 25th year reception. It is a neat program, and a great way to recruit young people to be geoscientists.

As I left the convention center, I had one of those experiences which is life defining. About 12 years ago I had worked with several very prominant geoscientists to design a product for Landmark, which was never developed. A few years ago, someone told me one of these men had died. I felt a real emptiness and loss when I heard this. I had noticed his name as a co-presenter, and because of a Visiting Geologist Meeting had been unable to attend. I had assumed his name was listed posthumously. As I came down the escalator, there he was, with his wife. I had tears in my eyes as I went up to him and shook his hand and tried to find the words I wished I had said to him prior to hearing, obviously falsely, of his passing. He did not know about Marti leaving, nor of my remarriage. My heart was full, and I could imagine the reunion when I see Grandpa Hafen again, or meet Grandpa Nelson, or see my Dad, or Uncle Bud. Although I haven't shared names here, it was a very touching experience for me, and I am going to find a way to spend time with my friend over the next few years.

Wednesday morning was e-mail catch up, then Andrea and I went to Beck Junior High to meet with Matt's teachers. Matt, Mom and I are very proud of how much better you are doing at school. We are concerned about how much pressure you are under and some of the social stress you keep finding yourself facing. I do believe this will pass, and I hope and pray you will be stronger for having had to face these challenges in your youth. Just stick with the things your teachers are saying to do, and attend your church meetings. Brother Lunt told Mom you are doing much better in scouts. I had a good Venturing Scout meeting Wednesday evening. Brother Dallen Minor spoke about his career. He did an outstanding job with the youth, and we had good attendance. Thursday started with the Sales Forecast Meeting. It turned into our first planning meeting for the SEG in Calgary in August. What time I had in the office was spent getting ready for my trip to Ames, Iowa next Monday through Wednesday. I had a meeting at 10:00 at VERI. Pat Hyde has been helping a group called Studio of the Americas, which wants to put a movie and TV production studio just south of AstroWorld. It is starting out as a $3 million project, and is projected to grow into a $50 million project. They want me to head up the VERI portion of the complex. It is sort of like a little Walt Disney World. The exciting thing is the architect is Benson Ford, who is one of the architects I have worked with on Walden 3-D work some 10 years ago. Somewhere I have some of his housing plans, and I can't find them right now. It was good to see Benson again.

Because of Easter vacation we had CoReExchange on Thursday afternoon. John Moran talked about his recent seismic QC job in Alaska. He ended with a picture of a salmon he caught behind him on the screen that was as long as his arms would spread. I worked late on my presentations for next week and catching up with Steve Joseph. Looks like Vpatch is officially organized, and Andrea and I own 200,000 shares as CES principals. If the value follows typical dot.com's and goes to $60/share this will have proven a worthwhile investment of time and effort. When I got home Matt wanted to play basketball. So after eating some dinner, I went out and broke my glasses (see 3 above). When Andrea got home from a Relief Society trip to the museum district, we decided we were not going to go to Tiffany Burgerner's wedding and to see Ben and Sarah (see 4 above).

So Friday morning started with a run around the block. I usually catch up with Andrea. However, she is getting faster, I am getting slower, or the distance is getting longer. I wouldn't have caught up with her if she wouldn't have walked back along Kingsland to meet me. Then we worked in the yard, and I cut my finger (see 5 above). As the Doctor was sewing it up, I asked if I would be able to play the guitar after it heals, because the hedger cut through the fingernail and down in the bone. He said yes. I responded, `Good, I've always wanted to play the guitar.' Actually, did you know our nails grow at 1 mm per week, and so the stitch he put in my fingernail should grow out within four to six weeks. So then I went to Sears, holding my large bandaged finger above my head because it throbs so much, and got the news about a possible aneurism (see 6 above). I was not excited. However, I really felt pretty good, and so I went upstairs and ordered two pair of graded bifocal glasses, one protected for computer work and guaranteed against breakage, and one pair of dark glasses. They will be here next Thursday or Friday. Then I went back to the emergency room, and had the doctor check out my eyes. Both he and the nurse seemed concerned. He called an opthalmologist, and he happened to be coming into the hospital to see someone else. So I got an exam by an expert. Evidently I have little scars around my iris, which are not normal, and not unusual, and the size of the optic nerve and the scars are congenital, possibly related to trauma at birth. I must admit I was glad to leave there, when I finally left the emergency room at 8:00. What a way to spend the afternoon. I would have much rather visited with Ben and Sarah and going to Tiffiny and Matt's wedding. So when I finally got home Andrea and I went to a movie: Keep the Faith. It had funny parts, there was the sex scenes, and all in all I did not think it was that good of a movie.

Saturday I slept in (my finger hurt). After reading the paper and watching Rachel and Matt find Easter Eggs Andrea had hid all over, I went to work to finish preparing my talks for Ames, Iowa. I got home at 3:00 and Melanie came over to work on a communications paper. Her topic was on Christ as an example of leadership. She struggled with the paper the rest of the weekend. Rob ended up not going to the movie with us (see 7 above). Melanie, Rachel, Andrea, and I went to see U-571. When we got there we ended up seeing `28 Days' with Sandra Bullock. I thought the movie was trash, and unless you are coming off being a drug, alcohol, or sex addict, or you are a kid who is playing with any of these and needs a wake up call as to the dangers of these activities, I see no gain nor any socially redeeming value in seeing the movie. Two for two wasted movies this weekend. Oh well!

Today was quiet. I started this after sleeping in again (my finger still hurts), and reading the paper. I got a very nice note from Bridget, who is going back to Pittsburg to get her stuff, and doing some tourist stuff with a friend up to Washington D.C. She is also taking her boyfriend home to meed Mom and Dad this weekend. She is thinking about becoming a lawyer, with music as a prerequisite. I think this is wonderful, as I believe there is a way to automatically classify digital documents, cross-correlate this classification against a classification of music and play the law on an instrument. Bridget, thanks for keeping me informed of your life. Anyway, I apologize these Thoughtlets, little statements of big ideas, have become so long and onerous the last few weeks. I ended up working on it this morning, then most of the evening after church. Maybe it took so long because I'm typing short one finger. Melanie and Sara came to church with us. They had their first exposure to Gospel Doctrine in Nottingham Country Ward, one on either side of me. Rob, thanks for coming over to have dinner with all of us. Sara, thanks for reviewing my paper on Geoscience Careers. Melanie, thanks for letting Andrea and me help with your paper. Andrea, thanks for a fabulous Easter Dinner. Rachel thanks for the smiles and hugs this week. Matt, thanks for spending time with me. I'm sorry I have not been spending much time with you lately. Nate and Heather thanks for keeping us posted on your activities. Audrey, thanks for making the right choices in Mesquite. Ben and Sarah thanks for understanding our trip changes. Someone tell Roice thanks for calling tonight. Paul and Kate thanks for keeping us informed of your plans. I know you will all have times when you hurt. For the most part, remember a hurt is mostly temporary. The key is to learn a lesson from the hurt, and to not repeat the negative experience."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2000 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.