Taxes and Death / Brother Paul.

. . .

Responselet 9714a

Date: Mon, 7 Apr 1997 12:15:57 PST

Dear Roice,

So Sorry to hear the news about your young family friend, Katie, who passed away. It is always so tragic for all of us left behind when such a young accomplished person dies unexpected. This reminds me of my brother Paul who was killed just a month before he turned 21. I don't think you ever knew him, you would have loved him like we all do if you had had the chance. I would like to tell you about him and the events that led to his death and why I feel so close to him, if you will indulge me.

Paul was very like your Paul who is serving in Russia right now. He was a friend to everyone and I don't think there was anyone who did not instantly like him. Paul played the baritone. He was the best Uncle Corrie, Jeff & Spencer Wood and my two boys, Dan & Ben could ever have. Paul attended the University of Utah and scored all A's & B's, he worked as the night cook at the Casa Melinda Resaturant in Bountiful. Mel, the owner relied on him because he was so dependable and was able to manage the other employees well when he was not around.

Paul had moved in with Buster while he was going through his divorce, he was always helping someone out. In fact the weekend he was killed he was putting a new floor in my bathroom because Chuck was out of town. He was dating a girl by the name of Kelly and had dropped out of school to spend more time four-wheeling and making money. He was very entrepreneurial and always had some business going to make money or to help someone make money.

He was enticed by the dark side and was not living as an active Priest should so he stopped attending church. He told me it was because of his "guilt" of lifestyle,not because he did not believe the church was true.

As you might remember my mom was going through a divorce as well and Paul moved home to help her out with expenses and general support just a few months before he was killed. One month before the accident he cleaned his room and tossed a bunch of stuff. He then took mom down to his room to show her everything he had done. He told her that he was tired of his life and was making some changes. He showed her his grades and told her that he had just registered back at the U. He planned on finishing college. He had also paid off all his debts and owed money to no one. He told mom that he was going to start going back to church and had just broken it off with Kelly. He and I talked a lot about Kelly since I worked at the Casa Melinda too and we had a lot of time together. I was happy she was going to be out of his life too. He also told mom he wasn't going to hang out with his four-wheeling buddies as much as he knew the bad influence they were on him.

'At the time none of this really stood out as being very significant but looking back on the events I believe he was preparing himself for a mission, let me tell you the rest of the story.'

Sunday came and Paul got a call from one of his friends, he couldn't pass up their offer of going four-wheeling. He promised mom he would go to church with her next week. I liken this to trying to quit smoking or changing any other habit, it's tough. There was beer and he was drinking, he had his friend John in his truck with him. They were on a mountain up somewhere by Logan when he rolled his truck. He was thrown from the truck and was crushed by it. His friend John had only a few scratches. The life flight helicopter brought him back to Davis County Hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival.

About a year after Paul had died, I received a phone call from Erla Pherson. She was the mother of Pauls best friend who had been killed in a hunting accident when he was 16 years old. Chuck and I were in the middle of packing our household up to move to California in six weeks, as you can imagine I was distracted from just about everything. Erla asked me if we had done Pauls temple work, I told her no. She mentioned that she had been having a dream for the last few weeks where her son Randy had been coming to her and telling her to get Pauls work done because it was holding the two of them up. I sensed the urgency of the work that needed to get done and started but I got distracted by the up-coming move. We moved to California and I had only been there in our new house for two weeks when I got a phone call for Erla Pherson again. She said, "You never got Pausl temple work done. Did you?" I told her we let it slip because we got busy with the move but I assured her that I would take care of it. She told me she would be glad when I did because she could get some sleep as the dreams had started again.

I called the Oakland Temple and found out what I needed to get together for Pauls work to be done that very day. I collected the information I would need. The very next day we received a call from the bishop wanting to know if we would like to accompany the youth on a temple trip next week to the Oakland Temple. He said while the kids were getting baptized we would have time to do a session. We jumped at the opportunity. Chuck acted as proxy and was ordained an Elder for Paul then received the endowment for him. I called Erla a few days later to let her know Pauls work was done. She said she knew the exact day we went to the temple because the dreams stopped that very day.

I have received a personal witness through prayer that my brother Pual is serving a mission with his friend Randy Pherson. They are teaching people in Spirit Prison who are waiting or looking for the truth. I have also had time to reflect on his last six weeks of life and I see now that he was preparing himself for service in the Lords Kingdom. I think the Lord didn't care if he served here in this life or not, the choices he made determined where he was to serve his mission. All that matters is that he is serving our Heavenly Father.

I have never shared this with my sister, dad or brother Buster. Dad and Buster don't talk about Paul, they can't deal with what happened. I have never had that close of a relationship with my sister as it pertains to spiritual matters. Muggy and I have been the "white sheep" of the family and we have talked about this and other spiritual matters often. I don't know why I told you today other than I felt prompted to. You would have loved Paul if you had known him, one day I'm sure you will get that chance.

Just last month Chuck and I had a close friend die of cancer. Margaret did not believe in God and was very afraid to die. I had the chance to spend a lot of time with her in her last weeks. I assured her that she would be able to see her mother, whom she was very close to and she seemed to accept it. If she didn't then, she does now! I also told her to look up my brother Paul, that he had a message for her. I hope she does because I know he does.

I have received wisdom beyond my years in the area of this birth that we call death (if I may steal a popular book title.) I won't go into the other stories. My heart does go out to you and your family and the family of Katie. It is hardest for those of us left behind.

Have a great week in spite of your week last week!

Love, Di

. . .

Copyright © 1997 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.