Integrity

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Dear Roice, Ben, Paul, Melanie, Sara, and Rob,

cc: file, Mom, Sara and Des, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Charles and Diane Cluff, and Claude and Katherine Warner, Forest and Amy Warner, Ivan and Chell Warner, and Eric and Renee Miner

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"I am leaving for Denver this afternoon for the annual SEG Convention (Society of Exploration Geophysicists) and so I am sending this week's thoughtlet a day early. Marti, Rob, Sara, and I had a discussion on Tuesday before I left for Austin, two e-mails came in, there were three chess moves made on three different games (which I have yet to respond to), I had a nice dinner and conversation with Roice in Austin, and I made the last quarter of Melanie's last football game as a Taylor High School cheerleader (after driving back from Austin) this week - all of which got me thinking about integrity.

First the e-mails. Darrell sent me a note that said `Roice, I signed up to a personal e-mail address so I would be sure not to misuse state resources. nkrueger@luminet.net. Thank you for letting me participate in your life. Darrell.' Chuck sent me a note that included: `So if you suffer from a low EQ (as I do), you could make a new choice. Raise it.'

It may seem to you kids that these are unrelated thoughts, but to me they are directly related to integrity. Over my career I have been refered to as being `permisciously' honest. In other words I say more than I need to in many situations. I lay everything out on the table. I am willing to write about very personal things in e-mails and copy family members I don't really know. I have always felt that this was a sign of integrity. When I started at a State of Texas job on Wednesday, I met with the Bureau of Economics' lawyer and discussed using state computers for e-mail, remote logging on to my computers in Houston using Bureau computers, using data I find at the Bureau (which is in the public domain) to pursue personal business opportunities, etc. I have always gone overboard to not even appear to have a conflict of interest in these circumstances. Then I react to something Roice tells me, or how Melanie feels about her last game, or Sara wanting to take her friends out for a midnight dinner, and I realize my low EQ keeps me from having, in my personal life, the same kind of integrity I strive so hard to have in my professional life.

So where is the balance? Each of you kids are going to be given `opportunities' to cheat on a test, copy someone else's work, steal a candy bar, or do something else that is obviously dishonest. I believe you have been properly taught what is right and if you choose this you also choose the consequeces. In a very real sense this is the easy way to loose your integrity. As you grow older, you will find yourselves in circumstances like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. There will be two `opportunities' and you get to choose between them. None of us will always make the right choices. We each have a nature and a nurture overprint on our choices which means we will sometimes react instead of act. How we react to our reactions is the subtle way to lose integrity.

Look at those things those around you do, then in your own lives consciously emulate the choices you approve of and avoid the choices you disapprove of. It seems to me that all we can really do is strive to do better than our parents. If we do this, it won't be very many generations before we have created our own Garden of Eden. A place where there can be true integrity in every aspect of our life."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. If you ever want to download any of these thoughtlets, they are posted at http://www.walden3d.com/hrnmen or you can e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 1996 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.