cc: file, Mom, Sara and Des, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Charles and Diane Cluff, and Claude and Katherine Warner, Forest and Amy Warner, Ivan and Chell Warner, and Eric and Renee Miner
"As each of you kids now know, I interviewed for and accepted a job in Austin this week. I will be working as a contract seismic interpreter for at least the next six months at The Bureau of Economic Geology. I have a technical Annual Report describing the kind of work done there if any of you want to review it. You can also check the B.E.G. out on the World-Wide-Web at http://www.utexas.edu/research/beg/. The idea is to work 4 days a week in Austin and spend 4 nights a week in Houston. However, it will be 5 and 6 day weeks for November and December and possibly beyond. I am very excited about the work. It is particularly nice to be able to go out to dinner each week with Roice and get to know him better. When we went to dinner on Wednesday, he was less than estatic about last week's Thoughtlet, specifically because I did not include his last response to David Devor in Israel, which was:
`Thank you again for some wonderful comments! The reponses about my two personal principles particularly got my mind going, and I think you are very right. I had a conversation with a friend a few months ago about job searching and setting personal career goals. He said something very similar to what you said below, although in a different context. Both sets of comments, I think, opened my eyes somewhat. He was talking about the importance of making a personal mission statement. He asserted that this statement should be specific and based on the talents and abilities of the individual. He also made the comment that this statement of one's main career goal should not be something like "to make money", which in our discussion is analogous to the goal "to be happy." Like happiness, money is a biproduct of following a more specific and purposeful mission statement.'
Someday I hope Roice and each of the rest of you come to know how proud I am of this kind of thinking. Yesterday, when talking with a long-time friend and the fifth employee (first non-founder employee) of Landmark Graphics, Terry Smith, he brought up the concept of our individual decision process. In light of the process Roice described, which is quoted above, it seems appropriate to share some thoughts about how I make decisions. Because the first Thoughtlet, #96.38, was `Decide' it seems like the decision process is becoming a common theme or thread in the fabric of these Thoughtlets. This is probably because our family is at a stage where we are making significant decisions which can impact us and those around us for the next 40-80 years. Roice's searching for a purposeful personal mission statement, Ben and Sarah's decision to get engaged, Paul's decision to go on a mission, Melanie's upcoming decision as to where to go to college, Sara's every morning decision about seminary, and Rob's decisions about music, friends, and chores are all examples of small decisions with significant consequences.
On the negative end of the decision process spectrum, sometimes I do not make decisions. Rather, I react. You know when this has happened, and hopefully this is an area you will each choose to be better than I have. I have done a lot better the last few years, but there is no question about how damaging the fallout from strong emotional reactions from the past can be.
Thank goodness there is the other end of the spectrum; i.e. those times where a decision has been pondered in my mind, prayed and fasted about, advice sought from those who have been faced with a similar decision, the fruits of what has happened to those who have made a similar decision under similar circumstances have been evaluated, the options discussed with those to be effected by the decision, and then doing my best to weigh all of these points in order to make what appears to be the best choice. The decision to take an out of town consulting job is closer to this end of the spectrum than to the emotional reaction end.
One of the things I have come to realize, especially over the last 5 years, is that I do not have a very high EQ (Emotional Quotient). A lot of key decisions in my life have seemed to revolve around emotional issues. One of the things I have found useful to do to get around this personal limitation is to identify what the end result or goal of a particular decision is and to keep focused on minimizing actions that keep this goal from being achieved.
I remember when Aaron Boyce was my Home Teaching companion and none of the new Green Trails subdivision sections were yet built. We went out there and used the empty roads as a place to teach Aaron how to drive. An analogy was made to his life, where the roads were compared to letting the church be the basic plan of how he would lead his life. If you will, the Young Men's program, a mission, a temple marriage, active participation in church callings, raising a family, providing service through Home Teaching, doing genealogical research, and generally being active provide the infrastructure for his life similar to how the roads would someday (and now have) provide(d) a framework to the new sections of Green Trails.
Creating a life plan like this and then sticking to it means the roads do not have to be dug up, rebuilt, and then further modified. It also means you don't have to make as many decisions, and are less likely to make emotional decisions that can deeply hurt those around you. Of specific importance is the fact this kind of `subdivision plat' can be laid out in advance, when there is not an emotional crisis or hurt feelings distorting the decision process. I encourage you to all think about what is really important to you, what is your personal mission statement, and then act to achieve that goal.
My personal mission statement is `To continue to make a difference.' There are too many specific goals tied to this general heading, and I am going to use some of the evening time in Austin over the next couple of months to re-evaluate and simplify my goals. I realize more and more the difference will largely be accomplished through the lives of you, my children, and thus there is a great desire to help you with Thoughtlets and opportunities. I encourage you to go back and reread Thoughtlet #96.38, and to simply decide to build a solid decision process to help identify and maximize what makes you happy and brings you feelings of success. Although it is never too late to do this, it will be a great blessing in your life if you do this in your youth and hold to the decision process like an iron rod leading on a pathway through mists of darkness."