cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, and Maxine Shirts
"One of the songs I remember from my youth goes:
According to a google.com search, these words are by Paul Simon
of Simon and Garfunkel fame.
Again, after another trip, I find myself two weeks behind on the Thoughtlets. Looking back it was hard to find a theme for the week. I wrote a couple of thoughtlets. I spent a couple of days at VRMT (Vision Reservoir Manatement Technology International, Inc.) with Dr. Vince O. Eleri teaching him about the seismic process, and introducing the Knowledge Backbone (SM). I spent a day creating and binding a new printout of the old Knowledge Backbone(SM) for Vince to use to document his experience. I watched JAG, Smallville, and Enterprise. I wrestled with Matt. I spent a day typing up all of the writing I did on `An Open Mind' and printing that out so I could work on it when we went to Utah. And in general, after the trip to Nigeria, and all of the activity tied to the Marginal Fields and OML-229, I let myself slow down.
When Andrea, Matt, and I got on the plane to Salt Lake City on Friday afternoon, after Matt got out of school, I fell asleep right away. I guess our bodies know when we have done too much, and we need to listen to them when it is time to slow down.
We got to Salt Lake about 9:00 PM. The rental car Andrea had reserved had a GPS (Global Positioning System) that was fun to play with. We got to Randy and Kathryn's about 10:00, talked for a little while, and went to sleep.
The reason I had paid for Matt's plane fare was so he could spend time with his `real' Dad. (In case you can't tell by the quotes I have a hard time being, by implication, `unreal.') He had called him from the airport and told him he wanted to spend half of the day with his cousins. The bottom line was reaction, and re-reaction, and Matt ended up not seeing nor spending any time with his `real' Dad. Oh well! I gave him the opportunity, and the two of them blew it. I guess there isn't room to point fingers, since I have blown communication opportunities so many times in my own life.
Saturday morning Andrea and I went for a walk up the street next to the Provo Temple, which is a block away from Randy's house. It goes to a trail up to squaw peak up one of the canyons by the `Y.' What a beautiful trail and hike. We walked for about an hour, and it was really nice. I could get into having a trail like that in my back yard. The one thing I noticed was that the creek dumps right onto the road we walked up, and when the day comes there is a really big thunderstrorm up that canyon, it will send a wall of water down which will flood the temple and, it looks to me like it will flood Randy's back yard. Hopefully this is a 200 year flood, and won't happen for another 160 uears. We got back to the house just in time for me to take a shower and to get in to watch the first session of General Conference. Andrea ironed our clothes which had been in our bags.
Matt and I played badmitten after conference, and then Andrea and I helped Randy pick all of the apples on the tree in his back yard. I ate a couple of them. They were really good. We left Matt to wait for his `real' Dad (and to play computer games) after Randy called and left a message on his answering machine, and went over to Paul's house to watch the afternoon sesson of conference with Kate and Grant Matthew. Grant has really grown big, and is a lot of fun. Kate fixed a wonderful meal for us after Conference and when Paul got home from `work' (riding four-wheelers around in the mountains and hitting the truck antenna against a branch and having it snap back and break the truck windshield). It was a wonderful afternoon and evening. It was a real pleasure to go to General Priesthood meeting with Paul, and to meet his Bishop and Stake President and to listen to all of the good things they have to say about how well he is doing. There were a couple of the talks which really hit home to me. I quote from my notes:
I have attempted to be the peacemaker, and in so doing,
feel I have abdicated my role as head of the family. It
is very tough to know when to intervene and when to let
folks learn by their own experience. I recall Grandpa
Hafen coming into the meat packing plant one day, and
grabbing a knife and showing me how I should be cutting
the trimmings off of a bone for hamburger meat. Then I
recall him telling my Dad, `Why haven't you taught him
how to do this?' Dad's answer was `I figure he will
learn it better if he learns it himself.' It is easy to
second guess choices and to wonder if I have taken that
route too often. Do I know as a Father if my children
were truly repentant at key milestones in their lives?
Or have I abdicated my responsibility? I was really
proud of Matt. He went to General Priesthood by himself
up to Randy's church, and he took notes so he could show
me he attended. Matt didn't like the guy's talk that
said to slow down and read the scriptures, and especially
when he said it is not a good idea to play so many
computer games. Aren't we all like that when we hear
things that ring true with us or those we love. For
instance:
These are all comments which have been said many times
before. In past years I was told several times I was
abusive. When pursued it was always clarified as mental
abuse. It was hard sitting with Paul in Priesthood
Meeting and wondering what he was thinking as these words
were said. And so, since e-mail is a safer medium than
talking for me, I ask the question in general, and wonder
if anyone will respond. When I saw Mom, she said, `You
know Roice, you probably really don't want to put all of
your thoughts out there for all of your extended family
to read.' And when we got back to Houston, I was looking
in my PAIRS notes for examples of paradoxes, for the book
I am writing, and came across the note:
The bottom line picture I'm attempting to paint with words
is we can't run from our friends, our past, our parents,
our God, and especially from ourselves. Sometimes the only
way to realize this is to meditate, think about our lives,
and slow down."