16 Sep 2007 #0737.html

Accountability

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Dear Family and Friends,

Welcome to this week's "Thoughtlet."

These words are my personal diary and a weekly review of ideas, beliefs, thoughts, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you: my children, my family, and my friends.

"I've been reading 'The Speed of Trust - The one thing that changes everything' by Stephen M.R. Covey. It is in the same class as his Father's 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.' I've been thinking this would be a good Christmas present to get each of you, and I only mention it because I expect any of you who read this will forget it by Christmas, and, if not, it might keep you from having two copies on your bookshelves. Of course, I wrote those words in September, and it is now December 9th. In describing behaviors, he uses a bell curve with 'too little' use of the behavior as a weakness on the left side, and 'too much' use of the behavior as a weakness on the right hand side of the curve. The key is to have behaviors that fall in the sweet spot, or the center of the bell curve. Given this introduction, think about this portion of his paragraph about accountability, relative to me:

'On the right side of the curve is over owning. It's the person who takes the blame for everything in a broken marriage, including detestable things done by his/her spouse. It's the child who takes responsibility for his/her parents' bad relationship or divorce. It's parents who do everything possible to appropriately raise a child and then feel guilty and responsible when that child uses his/her agency to make bad choices.'

I think his summary on Behavior #10, Practice Accountability, gives a good introduction to the value of his book:

'Hold yourself accountable. Hold others accountable. Take responsibility for results. Be clear on how you'll communicate how you're doing - and how others are doing. Don't avoid or shirk responsibility. Don't blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.'

Good stuff. And stuff I wish I really understood and had applied for years. I'll be interested to see what each of you think about the ideas in this book. Although I doubt if I will be getting a copy of this book for you for Christmas. We have been so busy, we don't know what we are doing for Christmas, and it is only 16 days away. Oh well.

One thing I have forgot to mention in these Thoughtlets are the Internet phone conversations I have been having with David Devor in Jerusalem. This started on August 18th, with a discussion of the 10 aspects of the whole, and continued on August 25th with me reading from D&C 93:20-42 and the Kaballahist belief in reincarnation, which is much like Hindu belief in soul transmigration. In a few weeks it will be the year 5768, and all history ends in the year 6000 according to Jewish tradition. On the 2nd of September we discussed how Job is apocryphal, and was not Jewish. There was recently a genetic marker found for the the family Cohen, which are the priests. On the 9th of September I was joined by Elder Lewiston and Elder Mirando and Ken Turn from the Sealy Branch. Ken is painting something with a Talit, the shawl which is the blueprint of existence, where there are 613 prime precepts. On the 16th of September I told David we would not be coming to Jerusalem in November for sure. Oh well! I wanted to go to the AAPG conference in Greece, and then take Andrea to Jerusalem. It seems like an eternity since these thoughts were on the table. We talked about death, and about David's fear of death. We talked about the resurrection and how most of what I said was consistent with conventional Judaism. It was interesting he said everyone is redeemed, no matter what their religion. He was just ending a fast day, and we talked about fasting. There was a brief conversation on Sunday, the 23rd, and then I did not call again until the 9th of December. Distracted because of being laid off and all of the things which have happened since then (0738.html). I have a yellow pad full of notes from these telephone calls, and some of you might find it interesting to read over these notes when you visit sometime.

On Monday I sent the following e-mail to Marti Berryman at Landmark about the Landmark Founders Day Celebration:

"Marti, I was thinking about your e-mail and wondered if Kevin Kinsella, the fifth person with founder's stock, was invited to your celebration. Recently I finished my first round of editing of an interview by the CSEG Recorder, which includes questions about the founding of Landmark. I'm waiting to submit the edits until some changes going on at Geokinetics, the company where I've worked for 4 years, settle down. The stock recently dropped 50% because 95% of income is from seismic acquisition and all of the rain has delayed projects. Although backlog has increased, the second quarter results were under the projection, and the Board fired the president, who has been the person most interested in the work I have done at Geokinetics. Anyway, I think the article is way too long, and I've attached a copy of the current draft for you or Doug or others you think appropriate to review, if interested. In return, I am interested in any corrections, edits, and particularly suggestions as to which parts should be cut to reduce the length of the article. Thanks and Best Regards, Roice"

Marti wrote back:

"Roice, do you have a copy of the "Introduction to Interactive 3-D Interpretation"? And thanks for the bio! Regards, Marti"

To which I responded:

"Marti, Here is a copy I scanned many years ago. I have the original, so if you need me to scan you a readable copy let me know. Best Regards, Roice"

In my notes, I made mention of being curious to see what the Landmark Founder's Day is going to be all about (see 0745.html). I figured there was some underlying and selfish reason they were doing this "celebration." Sad to think this is the way all business is run these days. And to a degree I was right. However, for the most part it was a nice acknowledgment of the founding of Landmark Graphics. At GDC I spent all week interpreting the Redtack 3-D seismic survey top salt horizon.

On Wednesday I did not bring computer home for the first time in several weeks. I had finally finished up the Sketch-Up model of the Deerwood property opportunity. There was an interesting genealogy e-mail, which I responded to. I expect someday I will get really involved with genealogy. I have a note that on Thursday Herberto called Melanie. I have no recollection who Herberto is. I was talking to Luis Viertel and he made one of those wise statements I like to capture:

"When you get your money out of stock sales, it has no value because it is coming from the ether. Stock is so volatile it has no value."

I spent some time searching for information about John A. and Carola Herrin, who own the Deerwood property. They sponsor the Galveston Art Center, Jim Love sculptures, and are involved both in Houston and in New York in the art world, including the Museum of Latin American Art. He uses an e-mail address from the Astros Fan Guest Book. I talked to Lyle Rowbury about helping me, and he was interested. So Lyle actually made the initial contact with John Herrin, ended up setting up the meeting, and drove me to the meeting in his big truck. And details are for a future Throughtlet.

Friday there was a third e-mail from Jiafeng Yan, Jialin's brother. Jialin disappeared and would not pick up the telephone for a long time. Jiafeng does pick up the phone and has been pretty responsive. Sometimes I wonder if it is just in the Chinese nature to be obtuse and hard to communicate with as part of their way of optimizing their negotiating position. The Chinese certainly do not see accountability the same way we do.

I had a conversation with Mike Dunn, who told me, "There are definitely going to be cuts. Don't worry, we'll do something. Stay as long as you can and get them to pay you." So I certainly can not say I was not warned about what was going to happen. On the way home I went over to the Vitamin store and bought some Tumeric, which has made a world of difference in my knee and other joints which the doctor said hurt because of inflammation. I also stopped at the grocery store and bought razor blades and roses for Andrea.

Saturday morning was mow the lawns, then Andrea and I went to the Bishop's Storehouse and helped fill food orders. Good thing to do the week before getting laid off. On the way home we stopped at the Mall at Gessner and I-10, went to Macy's, and purchased me a new suit. We stopped and ate at Paneras on the way home. I've always liked their food.

The sacrament meeting talks on Sunday were exceptionally good. It was the Elder's Quorum Presidency, Jim Siebert, Pat Heaney, and Brother Wheeler. I wrote the following possible stanza for Prime Words from Pat Heaney's talk on Home Teaching Sacrament Meeting on the 16th of September:

"Who are we rescuing? Striving to find Unbound peace, joy, And satisfaction."

And the following possible stanza from Jim Siebert's talk:

"The key to happiness is in our homes It is to have a feeling of peace To feel true love in our homes Letting the worldly in our lives cease"

Both of these thoughts are about accountability. Over the years I have come to appreciate how exceptional a ward our Nottingham Country Ward is.

Sunday evening Dorit, Karen Kessler's Mom, along with David and Karen Kessler came over for dinner and an evening of discussion and stories and song. I really like her. She reminds me of Grandma Hafen. I miss Grandma Hafen. Both of these strong women understand the concept of accountability."

Since the 38th week of 1996 I have written a weekly "Thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me). Until the 43rd week of 2004 I sent these out as an e-mail. They were intended to be big thoughts which mean a lot to me. Over time the process evolved into a personal diary. These notes were shared with my family because I know how important the written word can be. Concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life, I thought this was a good way to reach those I love. It no longer feels right to send out an e-mail and "force" my kids and my family to be aware of my life and struggles.

Everyone has their own life to lead, and their own struggles to work through. I will continue this effort, and will continue to make my notes publicly accessible (unless I learn of misuse by someone who finds out about them, and then will aggressively pursue a legal remedy to copyright infringement and I will put the Thoughtlets behind a password).

The index to download any of these Thoughtlets is at http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets, or you can e-mail me with questions or requests at rnelson@walden3d.com (note if you are not on my e-mail "whitelist" you must send 2 e-mails within 24 hours of each other in order for your e-mail to not be trashed).

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2007 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.