27 Jun 2004 #0426.html

Compassion

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Dear Paul and Kate, Melanie and Jared, Bridget and Justin, Sara, Ben and Sarah, Heather, Audrey, Rachel, Matt via hardcopy, and Brian,

cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny, & Maxine Shirts

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"Roget's College Thesaurus, of which I have a very worn 1962 edition, and have used it extensively through High School, College, and since, states that synonyms for compassion are:

I doubt if it is by accident that none of these words have been used as a title for one of the 403 Thoughtlets written since August of 1996. I'm sorry this is not part of my normal vocabulary, and something I have not endowed in your individual lives by my example.

As I get older, it seems that I cry at more subtle things. I'm not sure this is compassion, and hopefully it is related to more of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I do know that I was very touched by an e-mail Steve Joseph sent me, and specifically by the photo to the right:

`Bush Photo With Teen Becomes Internet Phenomenon Editorial by CK Rairden June 14, 2004 This is a story of how powerful the new media has become. A phenomenon of sorts has grown from a picture of a 15-year old girl named Ashley Faulkner in a warm embrace with President Bush. It all began in early May. President G George W. Bush was on the campaign trail in Ohio and one of his stops for the day was at the Golden Lamb Inn in Lebanon, Ohio. In this Cincinnati suburb awaited Ashley Faulkner and her father Lynn. They had arrived early with their friend Linda Prince to get a spot in the front of the line hoping to get to meet the president. As the campaign event wound down they would indeed get to see President George W. Bush up close and personal. Mr. Bush worked the line, shook Mr. Faulkner's hand and then proceeded until Linda Prince spoke up. This girl lost her mother on 9/11, Prince told the president. With that proclamation the president changed from the leader of the free world to a father and a husband. According to Mr. Faulkner, The president's entire expression transformed and he turned and came back against the flow and his eyes locked on Ashley's. The president took the time to talk to Mr. Faulkner's daughter Ashley and give her a warm hug. Mr. Faulkner told me he debated before taking this now famous picture, wondering if he was invading a very private and special moment between his daughter and the most powerful man in the world. He decided to snap the picture you see here, the only one taken of this incredible moment of compassion by President Bush. Mr. Faulkner described it as a precious gift to my daughter. The family returned home, and Mr. Faulkner took a look at the picture he had taken with his Kodak digital camera. He liked what he saw and decided to share it with those close to him. He told me that he e-mailed it to roughly 15 family and friends, and had no idea of the buzz it would create. The photo was not meant for publication, He said. But by Thursday morning, only two days after the event, I had received eight different e-mails with the photo attached. At that time only the Cincinnati Enquirer had published the photo, and Matt Drudge linked to it on his Website. The old media chose to ignore it. I published the photo in the Page 2 Politics journal, along with a brief blog entry on May 6th. The response was such that it was obvious more people wanted to hear the entire story. So--we did the legwork, I contacted Lynn Faulkner and got the interview. Mr. Faulkner was very generous with his time, and gave me the full story of the entire day and how the photo was forwarded to the press, not by him but by friends and family. The story along with the picture was wonderful and touching. I attempted to capture that in the lead editorial, Bush's Photo with Teen Shows Conviction and Compassion on May 10th. The story has become an Internet phenomenon. It is mailed around the Internet to literally thousands of people each day. The proof; each day our server clocks thousands of people going to that page and reading the story and looking at this beautiful photo of compassion. And each day the e-mails flow in thanking TWD for publishing the photo and telling the story. There is some negative e-mail, but they are outnumbered by 100-1. And last week it grew so big that some very serious skeptics emerged. I noticed then in the scores of notes that I received that some people were questioning the validity of not only the picture but the story as well. I took the time to answer each one and assured them that the story was legitimate, but someone wasn't satisfied. They contacted the Urban Legend Website Snopes.Com and wanted the story validated. Snopes investigation bore out the truth, as a question: Does a photo show President Bush hugging the daughter of a 9/11 victim? was given the status of true by the popular Website. And of course it is a true heartwarming story. The notes I get are touching and run the gamut from an 83-year old WWII veteran crying as he read it, to a 15-year old girl explaining "At my age you don't know how much a hug helps [especially] being a girl we take things harder and a hug is the best thing anyone can give." This beautiful picture and story show no sign of slowing down as people continue to log on to read it, and look at the picture. And it is a story that should have been picked up by the old media, but only the local Ohio newspaper, The Washington Dispatch and Fox News picked up on it. Again the new media took over, and now millions have seen it. Take the time to read the entire story, and look closely at this incredible picture. As you do, think of this---according to Mr. Faulkner, the press was already back on the bus, and it's obvious that President Bush and Ashley did not pose for this photo. I don't deserve any credit for this picture, Lynn Faulkner explained. He does, of course, as it shows the character of President Bush and the compassion and conviction he carries with him. It is said that character is measured by what you do when no one is looking. President Bush warmed Ashley Faulkner's heart and took the time to comfort her when he believed no one was looking. But with one fortunate click of a digital camera, now the world gets to look. Perhaps they were wrong in the nineties --- maybe character does matter. Rairden is the Editor of The Washington Dispatch'


http://www.washingtondispatch.com/opinion/article_9293.shtml

On a more humorous note, and a closer in demonstrating my normal level of compassion, there was an e-mail from Hayden Hudson which I thought I'd pass on this week:

`Subject: Behind every man is an intelligent woman! Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about five paces behind their husbands. She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still walk behind their husbands, but now seem to walk even further back and are happy with the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you used to try and change?" "Land mines," said the woman."'


So how was my week? OK. How was your week? Isn't this the normal greeting. Last Sunday was Father's Day. I received 1 nice card (thank you very much), and by the end of the week had 7 out of 10 of you wish me a Happy Father's Day. I guess 70% is a `C' grade, which I remind myself, when I strive to treat myself with compassion, this is passing, at least in some circles. The rest of my week was another week.

Monday I slipped off and went to the POPS luncheon (Pioneer Oil Producers Society). The talk was by a former Mexican who fought at Normandy and the Battle of the Bulge. He talked about his first teacher, who gave him 3 hours of homework every night, and how today this would be called abuse. He pointed out that once someone is exposed to true democracy, they can not accept anything else. He has a Ph.D. and is a retired linguist professor. Coming from a small town on the Yucatan Peninsula he had a very exciting life. Not only in Europe during WWII, but he went back to Mexico and organized the first Mexican air corps, he trained Chinese infantry men in Taiwan, and he obtained a PhD and taught for many years at the university level. Alf Klaviness was not there, and I couldn't help but think that Alf needs to describe his background to this group. I sat by Scott Sechrist, and it was good to catch up.

I got back to GDC just in time for a meeting with the new interpretation salesperson, Pamela West, and John Dinning of SpotFire. It went well, and hopefully the SpotFire data mining capabilities will become a component of GDC's product offering. GDC is going through changes with all of the new people that have been hired.

Tuesday morning I forgot to call Sara. I sent a note of apology (http://www.walden3d.com/benin/letters/040623b.html) and, Sara, I was pleased with your nice note saying, "Next Tuesday works well." However, I was surprised to learn from your Mom that you forgot, and were not there on Tuesday, even if I would have remembered. Guess that if I really had compassion, I wouldn't tell this to all of your siblings in this forum. Oh well!

Later on Tuesday there was a nice note from Bridget, which all of you received, and which I'm repeating for the record:

`Dear family, Justin and I are very excited to announce that we're expecting a baby around January 25th! Everything has been going well so far and yesterday we were able to hear the heart beat for the first time. The timing will work out well because I finish school at the first of December so I won't have to worry about that anymore. And, we could even have the baby on one of our birthdays (Justin is 1/12 and I'm 1/30). Anyways, I hope that you are all having a great summer. It's always good to hear from you! love, Bridget.'


Wednesday I went to Renosa via Harlingon via Southwest out of Hobby with John Walker. I gave a 4 hour presentation to a group of Mexican interpreters. GDC's representatives Luis and John said they had never seen a group of Mexican's so interested in a presentation before. We got back to Houston at 5:00 Wednesday evening, and I drove straight to the Stake Center and the Genealogy library. Andrea came in from Utah early, and so I did not need to drive up to Intercontinental to pick her up.

I had spent some time at the Genealogy Library on Tuesday evening attempting to do Temple Ready for my Mom's endowment and sealings. It was a real hassle. So I went back Wednesday night to finish it up. Alan Peterson was there, and we were not able to get it to work. However, he called the temple and we were told I just needed to bring a Family Group Sheet. Andrea came down to the Stake Center and looked up some stuff on her genealogy for the reunion next month in Coeur d'Alene. It was the first time she had seen my new glasses. Looks like Matt, Andrea, and I are going to Spokane on Monday the 12th of July and will return on Thursday the 15th of July.

Thursday it rained hard on the way in to work. I figured this was just for me, sort of like the snow storms or thunderstorms I have described in the past (../9834.html, ../0006.html, and ../0208.html), which were `just for me.' I was very busy at work, and had to leave a meeting with Fred Hilterman, Dave Johnson, Ken Butler, Pamela West, Richard Verm, and Lee Bell, which I had called to make it to the Houston Temple by 5:00. But I made it at 4:45, and went up and did what was necessary with the Family Group Sheet, came back downstairs and met Andrea, and we both wondered if Melanie would come. I hadn't heard anything since she called me from Utah on Monday. Melanie, it was very good to see you, and you looked really good. I'm sure Grandma Nelson was very pleased to have someone so beautiful acting in proxy for her.

When we met in the Chapel, before the endowment, Melanie asked me what I thought Grandma Nelson was thinking now. I replied that I didn't think it was something I could repeat where we were sitting. Melanie, your laugh was infectious. There were only 5 people in the Endowment Session, including Melanie, Andrea, and me. There was a good spirit, and particularly when we went in the sealing room. Don and Kathleen Keller, and Jeff and Paula Jurinak were in the room, along with President Steward, who is a sealer, two witnesses, and a lady I did not know. Melanie was proxy for my Mom. I was proxy for my Dad when they were sealed, and Don Keller was proxy for my Dad when I was sealed to them. Most of us in the room had tears as and after the sealings were done. There was a good spirit, a spirit of compassion, and even though I know it is up to Mom and Dad to accept or reject the ordinances done in their behalf on their own free will, I have done what I can, and I feel good about it.

Andrea followed me to Pappasitos, where we had the first chance to talk with each other in over a week. Marti had been watching Taylor for Melanie at a motel near the temple. Melanie, Taylor, and Marti joined us for dinner. It was a nice evening. I felt uncomfortable, but Marti and Andrea seemed quite at home with each other. I picked up the bill and made the mistake of saying, `Well, you did babysit so Melanie could be at the temple.' Marti responded, `So now I get paid for babysitting!' The food was good. Taylor is old enough to smile real nice. She was fun to hold and she didn't like it when I fed her a taste of lime. All in all it was a very nice evening.

Friday afternoon at GDC we continued the meeting I had to leave Thursday afternoon, without Dave and Pamela, and with Mike Dunn. Lac Ngyuen brought in his first pass example of the VR Model for the GDC Tiles(TM). I didn't get out of the office until almost 6:00. I got home in time to go to a movie with Andrea. We went to see `The Terminal,' staring Tom Hanks. I think compassion is a good theme word for this movie. I really liked it. The stewardess was almost as pretty as Audrey, and brought up the same concerns I've expressed to Audrey about working as a stewardess. However, the compassion showed by the main characters was well done.

Saturday morning Andrea and I went back to the temple to work in the kitchen. It is always interesting working as a laborer someplace like the temple. This was my first time in the kitchen. I like it better than the laundry. The biggest job I had was to grind a 5 gallon bucket of wheat. Then I helped Andrea with washing dishes. We also had a free lunch, and a chance to sit and talk for a while. Doing something with my hands is certainly a good way for me to demonstrate compassion. We got back home at 3:30, and went to see the movie `Around The World in 80 Days' at 4:35. Definitely a slapstick fantasy movie. It is a lot of fun. I told Andrea it is the kind of movie I would like to have for when Grandkids come to stay with us. Another couple of years and I hope to see Ethan, Grant, and Colby coming to stay with us for a week while you all go on a vacation. I intend to spoil them rotten, and to attempt to teach them how to ride a horse and hike and fly a kite and throw rocks off of the road and play pinochle and other important things I probably didn't do such a good job of teaching you. Maybe this is my attempt to learn compassion.

Church today was nice. Brett Allen returned from his mission to Chile. Sarah Salt gave a particularly good talk in Sacrament Meeting. Brett's talk was one of the best I've heard in a long time. The discussion in Gospel Doctrine was interesting. I wrote the following possible stanza for Prime Words based on the discussion:

`Ordained to the High Priesthood That we might enter into his rest (a) According to the foreknowledge of God (b) Unless we stray from the scriptures by wrest (c) (a) Alma 13:6 (b) Alma 13:3 (c) Alma 13:20, 2 Peter 3:16, Alma 41:1'


Lastly, I understand that Ethan is having a Spiderman and Batman birthday party on the 7th of August. The festivities will begin at 10:00, with presents being opened at about 2:00. We received the Bat Mitzvah invitation for Yarden Kessler. It is Friday night, August 6th at 7:00 PM and continues Saturday morning at 10:30 through a Kiddush luncheon, with a dining and dance celebration Saturday evening at 7:00 at the Westside Tennis Club. If any of you are available and interested in going with us to any of these activities let us know. It will be a very busy and fun Friday and Saturday (0432.html). And maybe by the time it is all over I will realize I actually do, after all, know something about compassion."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2004 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.