cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Diane Cluff, Maxine Shirts, and Sherri Nelson.
"Interesting fact. I got as much feedback from last week's Thoughtlet (0147.html) as about any of the 269 Thoughtlets I have written so far. Three responses, each from a beautiful young lady, are summarized below. The first one got 25 on the right side and wrote:
Another wrote:
And the third wrote:
So why did the self-test only attract females to the degree they were willing to write back and comment on it? I retook the test and gave myself 29 on the right and 0 on the left, so I think it is safe to say I agree with #2 and think self reflection has a lot to do with how we are feeling at the time we self reflect. Based on the unexpected apparent interest in this self-test, I am going to convert the web page into an interactive sheet, where you can click on the left or the right column, enter your name and it will time-stamp the results and store them in a file. Then every so often I will graph and use as the basis for a future Thoughtlet. Of course, this only works if I take the time to figure out how to make the capture the self-test. And #3, I don't know how to explain it either: there were 29 questions, and you must have only answered 22 of the 29.
So why am I choosing to write around the theme burnt orange rolls? I guess it has always been my perception that we have done pretty good around the holiday times. I know with some families it is a time of great stress. And especially there is a lot of unresloved or repressed anger, it tends to come out sidewise, and can sometimes hurt others deeply who get caught in the cross-fire.
I think the biggest stress for me during the holidays has been tithing settlement. And this is a stress because I avoid doing as much of the day to day finances as is probably prudent, expect it to be perfect and to balance, and am afraid of having a fight about money. As I think about this `little' stress, I remind myself that I have not met anyone who does not carry around scars and phobias with with them. And so when a little thing happens, like the orange rolls get a little bit burned, I shrug it off with an `Oh Well!' However, it appears to be a sad fact that when there is something negative or unpleasant that happens, like the orange rolls getting burnt a little bit, that it colors the entire surrounding event for many of us. And as wonderful as this Thanksgiving was, this seems to be the case for our week.
As I mentioned last week, I left for Dallas right after writing out the Thoughtlet. Didn't turn the radio on. It is good for me to get out on the road and to clear out my head a little bit. Not sure how this works, whether tension drains out my eyes when I can see the big picture, or whether the giggle of the car settles concerns out of my body and into the surrounding countryside. Whatever the case, when things seem tense, it is a good idea for me to drive out to New Ulm to see Ken Turner or someplace else similar. The drive from Las Vegas to Cedar City or from Salt Lake to Cedar City has provided that outlet for me for years.
Ethan is a lot of fun. I only got to play with him for a half-an-hour since I got to Ben and Sarah's about 7:30 and his bed time is 8:30. It was fun. Family can bring so much joy. And during these times of joy, I wonder how could anyone not want to be together as a family for eternity. Then I recall the burnt orange rolls, and realize this is all that some folks can see. Ben and Sarah shared their favorite mystery show with me: Alias. Pretty good thriller. A little bloody at the end. And as soon as Stake Choir Practices are over, I will probably find myself addicted, since I have become softer about watching TV on Sundays as I grow older and loose more and more control of what goes on around me. Ben and Sarah must have had 20 garbage bags full of leaves in their front yard, which we moved out back for the garbage folks. I'm looking forward to seeing the photos of Ethan playing in the fall leaves for the first time.
My meetings Monday went well. At 7:00 I spent an hour with Jerry Fillebrown, who has a major play in the central U.S. You might recall I met Jerry in the museum at Mesa Verde on the scout trip this summer (0131.html). We spent an hour and I am more convinced than ever that he has a play that could be a significant new and central U.S. source of stratigraphically trapped oil and gas. I met S. Parker Gay, Jr. at the LaQuinta Inn at Meadow and I-75 in Dallas at 8:30, and we were at the Rudman's office at 9:50 AM. Jim Trimble is such a wonderful man. After a good meeting with frank discussion he took us to lunch at the local equivalent of the Petroleum Club. He told us how we could get some funding for what we are doing, and so I put together a business plan on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, between family time. For those who want to look at it before I put a password protection on it later this week, it is at http://www.walden3d.com/TectonicaEnergy. Also talked to Scott and Jim about Rio Grande County, Colorado, and they again said they are sending me a check for $1,000. for help in packaging and presenting their deal. Tracy Stark drove down from Plano and met Parker and me at Parker's hotel. First time I have seen what Tracy is doing. Very interesting stuff, with great potential for helping the interpretation process. After this meeting I drove home. Stopped at a service station and slept for an hour and a half, because I was so tired. And there weren't even any burnt orange rolls yet.
On Tuesday morning, my meeting with Greg Kelleher at Devon was postponed again. I spent most of the day working up SpotFire examples. I am really excited about the potential impact this software will have on some of the projects I have in mind. However, I will save a detailed description for a later time. Jawad Pashmi from SpotFire came by in the afternoon and he taught me some new details on how to use SpotFire. The Sister Missionaries and Audrey's friend Emery, who lives northeast of downtown Houston, joined us for dinner. Sister Perkins is from St. George, although she was born and raised mostly in Blanding. It was a nice evening, and other than Emery being uncomfortable sitting at the dinner table, I don't recall any burnt orange rolls. Matt, Rachel, Audrey, Andrea, and I went to see Harry Potter at 8:00. It is worth seeing, just for the special effects. I found it interesting being uncomfortable with the witchcraft theme, especially since Lord of the Rings is coming up, and I recall so thoroughly enjoing those books. Oh well!
Wednesday was sent at EarthView Associates, working on the paper I give to the Houston Geological Society next Wednesday. It is a revision of `The Impending Obsolesence of Maps' (../0024.html, ../0031.html, ../0034.html, ../0044.html, ../0049.html, 0114.html, and 0121.html). It is amazing to me how much new work goes into every new version of a presentation like like this. Maybe the required preperation is the equivalent of burnt orange rolls. The missionary elders came over for dinner. Elder Justin Taylor is from Cedar City and graduated in Bridget's class. With Audrey and Andrea and Rachel around the dinner table with him, it was one of the more interesting dinner discussions I have listened to with a missionary threesome. After they left, others started arriving. Melanie, Sara, her friend from the Business School and from the Czeck Republic Peter (Petra), and Roice got here from Austin about 5 minutes before Jared arrived from Vidor. I was pleased how well the sleeping arrangements worked out. Matt slept with Audrey. Melanie and Jared slept in Matt's room (thanks Matt). We put up a cott and a twin bed by the pool table for Roice and Peter. Sara slept on the couch in the living room, which makes into a double bed. I wish Heather, Ben, Sarah, Ethan, Paul, Kate, and Rob could have all been here too. Rob did come by three times, and I was able to spend a little time with him on Friday, which was nice. He didn't have any shoelaces in his shoes, and I couldn't help but think of a poem he wrote, which Sara sent me:
Thanksgiving day started with me working on the the Tectonica Energy business plan. Andrea asked me to go for a walk with her, and I did, much to her chagrin it turns out. In 2 1/2 years of marriage, we have seldom argued nor had any significant differences of opinion. There has been some kid related stress lately, and my financial stability is less than satisfactory. As we walked, there was a discussion about insurance, and I overreacted (0128.html). The `discussion' didn't go well towards setting the tone for a loving family Thanksgiving day. Shortly after we got home, one of you kids came in the office to visit, and I clarified something said earlier, evidently too strongly. This resulted in a temper tantrum response by someone else, with untrue accusations and terrible language. It was my burnt orange rolls for the weekend. It made me want to repent of caring, loving, sharing, funding, and the other things I have attempted to do to merge our families. Oh well!
Needless to say, the morning's hidden activities were on my mind as I was carving the turkey. I was next to the stove, with my back to it, and didn't notice the smoke billowing out of the oven. Isn't that typical of how I work. I get involved in what I'm doing, and don't notice the house burning down around me. Then when I do, I create too much commotion attempting to get everything back to normal. Sara had got up early to learn how to make Orange Rolls. And now it appears her memory of Thanksgiving 2001 will be burnt orange rolls. The meal was wonderful. Andrea put on a brave face, and inside her heart was shattered. I don't think we will be doing a big meal like this at the holidays again. There seems to be too much history and too much anger, and it seems to come out at Thanksgiving and Christmas (after all Rick left the family on Christmas Day, and even though you kids who were directly impacted by this tragedy intellectually know better, I am convinced several of you take responsibility for what happened, even though there is absolutely no way it can be considered to be your fault!).
The tradition seems to be to go to a movie on Thanksgiving. Most people had seen some of the movies, with the exception of one about snow boarding. I wasn't interested in this, based on the previews, and was glad when Melanie and Jared said they wanted to go to Monsters, Inc. Turns out most of us went to see Monsters, Inc., including Andrea who walked out of the other movie and joined us because it was so gross and stupid. More burnt orange rolls. In the evening, Andrea, Sara, Peter, and I went down to the Galleria and watched the light show and fireworks displays by DisneyWorld. Really impressive, and we were right in the best place to see everything. Thanks Andrea. I would never have got up from the computer and done this if you wouldn't have asked me to. Sara, it was fun to spend time with you and with Peter and to learn more about the Czeck Republic.
All in all it, even when one puts the emotions into perspective, was a great weekend. Roice and I played a couple of chess games, and had a good talk about serious stuff. As I mentioned above, Rob came by and it was nice to talk to him and to give him a hug. It was good to have Melanie, Jared, Sara, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt around the house. We got a couple of nice photos, which I will post sometime soon. There was a puzzle put together, although I didn't help with it. There was egg nog, pumpkin pie, apple pie, peacan pie, cranberry pie Sara brought from Texas Frenchbread where she works in Austin, and of course all of the trimmings from the meal to eat all weekend. Life was especially wonderful Melanie said goodbye, gave me a big hug, and I could feel the knot in her tummy, and I thought of the upcoming addition to our eternal family. Thanks, everyone, for making my Thanksgiving so special. I wish it could have been the same for each of you, and hope and pray you won't always have burnt orange rolls in your life, that those who need to can stop taking responsibility for things you couldn't nor can't control, that those who need to can find a way to expunge the anger you are obviously still carrying around, and that those who are hurting so bad get to a stage you don't feel the need to sabotage your holidays.
Saturday was spent at EarthView working on the paper again. The evening was spent printing out copies of the Abbott On-Line Analog Atlas Proposal for distribution at all of our meetings this next week. Andrea and I watched Ghandi while she worked on her cross-stitch and ironing and I was doing this. I forgot how much I like the movie Ghandi. If you haven't seen it, don't remember it, or didn't sit through it, I encourage each of you to rent it and set aside some quiet time to watch it and then to contimplate how Ghandi's example can assist you.
Church was good today. I wrote three stanzas for possible inclusing in Prime Words, which is unusual for one day. The first was based on Michelle William's sacrament talk (a):
I started to write a stanza based on Suzanne William's talk, but the Ward Choir sang, and by the time I got back to my seat, I'd lost the thought. Burnt orange rolls! However, based on her Dad's talk (David Williams (b)), I wrote:
Marion Pickerd's Gospel Doctine Class was on significant recent revelations. She broke them into four catagories:
In Priesthood our neighbor from England, Tim Stevens (c), gave the lesson about being thankful. The following stanza came out of the discussion:
I guess we all have a need to repent, and hopefully we recognize it prior to making too bad of mistakes. It was nice to go Home Teaching with Matt this afternoon. I find as I serve others, and particularly as I fullfill priesthood assignments, I find peace, understanding, and insights to help me cope with the challenges of my life. As we drove up to Hayden Hudson's house, Mary, his X-wife, Erica, and Erica's fiancee were getting into a car. Erica is planning to get married in the St. George Temple on June 1st. She is planning to have her reception in Sister Perkin's parents back yard (talk about a small world). Hayden is not excited about not going to his daughter's wedding (he is not a member of the church, and we Home Teach him because his son, who sometimes visits, is), nor does he have the money for an expensive wedding. Hopefully we can be of some help over the next six months with all of this. Matt gave the lesson at the Riches. They have 4 kids old enough to listen, and who were awake. Also they had two neighbor kids there. It was absolute pure joy to watch the faces of these kids as they listened to rapt attention as Matt gave the lesson. Any burnt orange rolls are forgotten when one sees this type of obedience.
This whole week reminds me of a good talk at Conference by Elder H. Ross Workman titled `Beware of Murmuring.' To quote from the notes I took:
For those interested, I recommend you read the talk, which is on page 85 of the November 2001 Ensign. Honoring parents means love, and as the Savior taught us, `If ye love me, keep my commandments.' If you do this, I promise you, you will always be able to ignore or set aside or forget those parts of your life which can be called burnt orange rolls."