Adventure:
Who else do I know who would climb dozens of Mayan temples with
me, driving for hours on narrow roads, almost running out of gas,
and being stopped by militia with AK-47's? Who else do I know who
wanted to go to Nigeria with me, and who kept up my spirits when
guards with AK-47's joined us, when thugs threw spiked boards in
front of our car tires, and when we got a flat tire in the middle
of the Port Harcourt city dump and almost missed our flight back
to Lagos? Thank you for your willingness and eagerness
to share my adventures.
Avoid
Adultry: Thanks for providing peace of mind in that I never worry
about your leaving me for another man.
Balance:
You provide balance to my life. I am way too caught up in myself
and my ideas. The spirit you bring home from teaching seminary,
the way you keep and decorate our house, the wonderful meals you
fix, all create a balance for me.
Baptism:
There is no question about your commitment to the restored
gospel, and to honoring the covenants you made when you were
baptized.
Beauty:
You are too hard on yourself, particularly regarding the need for
makeup and nice clothes. To me you are beauty! To your kids you
are beauty! To my friends, specifically as shown by comments by
Gary Jones and Bill Hagen, each of who has stated with a tone of
disbelief I could find someone so beautiful to marry me, you are
beauty!
Blameless:
You have had a lot of blame dished out to you for things for
which you are blameless. This is a beautiful example of your
following the example of our Savior.
Brotherhood:
There is nothing you enjoy more than the brotherhood and
sisterhood of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for
sharing this with me.
Celebrate
Birth: I love how diligent you have been in helping each of our
Grandchildren come into this world, and of course helping their
Mom's. You truly know how to celebrate birth.
Charity:
Your love of your seminary and your Japanese students highlights
the depth of your charity. And this does not include the
numerous calls we get from those seeking clothing donations,
which calls only continue to come because you have provided
charity in the past.
Chastity:
It is a tremendous comfort for me to be in the same room with you
each month and to see you raise your hand to the square, bow your
head, and commit to remain chaste.
Consecration:
Whether it is sweet buns for seminary or chili
for a church dinner, or whether you are called to play the piano
or teach seminary, your life demonstrates consecration to Jesus.
Contributions:
Thank you for taking care of the finances, for making up for my
weaknesses in this area, and for paying our tithing, our Fast
Offerings, and making sure we are ready for tithing settlement.
Control
Anger: I know there are times when I make you upset. I'm sorry.
Thank you for controlling your anger and for treating me better
than I deserve.
Conviction:
As I watched you soak in Nauvoo and our heritage, the depth of
your conviction to that which is right and true and good and
worthwhile was overwhelming.
Courage:
The only time I have seen you lacking courage was when we climbed
to Angels Landing on our honeymoon, and I think that was a
physical depth perception thing, and not a personal lack of
courage. Thanks for being an example of courage.
Death
with Dignity: I was not there to support you when your Father
died. However, having heard you talk of his strength in his
ability to stop dialysis, knowing it would end his life, I can
not think of a better example of death with dignity.
Divorce
without Judgment: We have been married for 7 ½ years, and
I have never heard you judge your x-husband. You have stated how
hurt you were the Christmas of 1988. However, I am so impressed
with how well you have handled something so hard, especially when
I compare your reactions to my own.
Equality:
There are a lot of ways to look at equality. Equality in
marriage. Equality for different races. Equality in financial
gifts. In all of these areas you are unparalleled in providing
an equal playing field.
Endurance:
There are very few mornings of our married life you have not got
up and gone for a long walk. I learned about your endurance this
summer when I attempted to keep up with you as we toured Italy
and got blisters on both feet. I was actually glad to be able to
go to the conference and relax sitting in a chair and listening
to professional papers.
Eternal
Life: I know how much you long to be with your father, with Peter
Shirts, with Hyrum Smith, and with others in your family. I also
know how much you long for your children to be with you for the
eternities. I anticipate and hope this longing, along with the
way you lead your life will bring this longing and desire of your
heart to pass.
Eternal
Marriage: I believe in eternal marriage with all my heart. I am
so pleased you accepted my proposal to become my eternal
companion. The road is not easy, and the process is an important
part of creating a truly eternal marriage.
Fairness:
Steve Joseph taught me that fairness is not a principle.
However, fairness is a value, and as a value, you certainly have
always shown fairness.
Faith:
In some ways I feel I have tremendous faith. However, when I
think of your example and the things we talk about, I realize my
faith is of a much smaller mustard seed than yours.
Family:
Thank you for accepting my family, with all of our weaknesses,
and making them your family. In many ways you are better with
some of my kids than I am. Thank you for helping me to see the
good in each of my children and thanks for sharing your children
with me. At times it seems like we will never be an eternal
family, and yet I know this is the desire of our hearts, and I
continue to hope and pray we will find the way to help each child
find truths we have found.
Forgiveness:
Thank you for forgiving me of my mistakes. I do strive to learn
from my mistakes, and I appreciate your patience with me and with
my weaknesses.
Freedom:
Sometimes it seems hard for you to trust in others ability to
make as good of choices as you can and do make. However, in the
end, it seems you always have let freedom dominate.
Friendship:
Thanks for being my friend. I'm sorry I do not listen and talk
as much as you would like. However, I know you find friends,
like your walking ladies or the seminary teachers, to fill in for
my inadequacies as being a friend. Hopefully time will help us
improve and build on our friendship.
Good
News: Each week as we sit in sacrament meeting and wait for the
sacrament to be brought to us, I see you reveling in the
scriptures and the good news of the gospel. In addition, I know
how excited you are to receive good news from a child, a sibling,
or a friend.
Goodwill:
How many service projects have you done since you have been in
Houston. Whether it was with the Young Women, as Young Women
President, with the Special Olympics, with Seminary, or with
friends, you are always out sharing good will.
Health
Code: The meals you fix are wonderful. I'm sorry I have let
myself feel sorry for myself with the result of getting fat.
Hopefully this approach of skipping dinner will help me get rid
of the rest of the excess weight, and then I will be able to
enjoy your healthy meals each day.
Home:
Thank you for turning my house into our home. You have been the
opposite of a carpenter bee. Instead of drilling holes and
ruining a good structure, you have replaced and continue to
replace the weak parts and to create a heaven on earth for our
home. I don't think anyone knows how much work and effort,
thought and planning, and elbow grease into our home.
Honesty:
It is rare today to find someone as committed to being honest as
I am. You are. Thanks for being my companion in fighting the
trends of todays world.
Hope:
Sometimes the choices of those we love become very discouraging.
However, your hope always shines through the despair
which can come into any life.
Humility:
In knowing your decisions are right, you can come across a proud.
However, I have watched you with all kinds of people in all
kinds of circumstances over the past 7 ½ years. I have
never seen you build yourself up, or let pride guide your
actions. Thanks for your example, and for your helping me to
sometimes see those times I get too full of myself.
Inspiration:
Often when I have been feeling down, and have turned to my guitar
for soothing, the notes and the words have turned to you and to
the positive impact you have had on my life and on the lives of
my children and grandchildren. Thanks for being an inspiration
to me.
Integrity:
Honesty is the first step to integrity, and I've already written
about your honesty. When the final chapter is read back to us, I
have no doubt there will be no duplicity in your life.
Jealousy:
As you know, I struggle with jealously, largely out of my own
insecurity. You have been jealous of some of the big ideas which
can fill my head. However, I know you know I will never be
unfaithful, and I have never sensed jealously of another woman.
I'm thankful you have the self confidence to know there is no one
who can compete with you.
Joy:
Your love of our Savior and the joy you find in the restored
gospel are a light to me. I have not found the same joy I see in
your life, and you are an example helping me to find my way to a
better relationship with my Savior.
Justice:
You are fair and do not give in when others attempt to manipulate
you or to take advantage of you. You have helped me treat those
I love with more justice, and less capricious angry responses.
Thank you.
Love:
I know you love me. I hope you know I love you. We both feel
like our children sometimes do not love us, and yet I anticipate
we will discover over time their love is as deep and as abiding
as the love we feel for each other and for our Savior.
Loyalty:
I realize there are several times since we have been married when
circumstances have proved to be very hard for you. Particularly
with regards to the way I handle finances. Thank you for your
loyalty, and for sticking with me, and for helping to move
financial things to a place where you are more comfortable with
them.
Keep
the Commandments: I realize it was hard for you to give up going
to "R-Rated" movies when you married me. I think this has
been a wise choice, and it is the only example I can think of
where we have had a disagreement from my side on keeping the
commandments. There are the things I do, like watch Jay Leno or
swear when I get angry, which you have done a good job of helping
me to see where I am compromising. Thanks, and hopefully someday
I will be able to over come my weaknesses.
Magnanimity:
The breath of your heart and the depth of your service is shown
with the reactions of those you Visit Teach or your seminary
students or your Young Women or others you interact with.
Marriage:
I know you did not seek a divorce. I know I did not seek a
divorce. I know we would both still be married to our original
partners if they would have been willing. And yet I also know
the Doctrine and Covenants refers to marriage partners being
"removed out of their place" in several different places.
I'm so glad the Lord worked things so we could find each other
and create an eternal union.
Mercy:
There are times when I have been ready to write off those I love
as completely lost causes. You have helped remind me I am a lost
cause without the mercy and forgiveness of our Savior. Thank you
for helping me keep a perspective in times of trial.
Moderate
Eating: You are a good cook, and it is too easy for me to eat
everything that is put in front of me, especially when I am
feeling stress, which is most of the time. Thank you for
supporting my efforts to moderate my eating.
Money:
Thank you for taking care of our finances. I know you feel
unappreciated. However, I do know that if I hired a Merril
Littlwood or someone else to take care of the finances, it would
not work anywhere near as well as it has with you watching out
for us. Hopefully my optimism regarding our financial future is
not in vain, and we will have resources to fulfill missions as
well as some of the dreams of my heard regarding new types of
communities.
Openness:
I realize I am excessively open. I appreciate your being
completely open with me. I also appreciate your putting the
reigns on me when I start to share things which neither help us
nor the folks with whom I am being promiscuously
honest with.
Opportunity
Driven: There is no question how opportunity driven I am. I
appreciate your helping me to recognize when I have dropped
opportunities we have talked about in the past, when the
opportunities are still out there and available for us to take
advantage of.
Peace:
My home has become our home. Our home has found peace. Thank
you!
Play:
I do not know how to play. You do. You also know how to laugh.
Thanks for helping me see my need to improve in these areas.
Prayer:
Your prayers can be like a wormhole directly into heaven. We
need to pray more together, and I'm sorry if I am the reason you
prefer to pray alone.
Progress:
Look at all of the progress I have made since you came into my
life! Thank you. I was in the depths of self-pity and feeling
like a failure. I still find myself going back there at times.
I appreciate how you help pull me out of these times of funk.
Purity:
Lives are seldom pure. I certainly recognize my mistakes, and I
recognize you have made a few yourself. However, I firmly
believe that because of the love of our Savior there will be a
time when we will be totally refined and purified, and that
together we will stand at the judgment bar of God and be received
into His Kingdom. The process is hard, as we know from
experience. The reward is worth it, and the key is to endure to
the end.
Recognize
Happiness (what happens now): The last two nights with the Austin
contingent and with the Vidor contingent have been wonderful, as
you pointed out after we got home from Sacrament Meeting. I do
think we both need to work on helping each other recognize all of
the joy and happiness that does surround us, and that this will
help us to deal with our struggles.
Reconcile
Past (loss and pain): You have done a much better job of
reconciling the past than I have. I realize you still struggle
regarding "If I had only done this!" or "If I had only done
that!" And there is no question about the fact we have both
suffered considerable loss and had much pain in our lives. I do
believe we are strengthening each other and letting go of some of
this loss and pain. I firmly believe that as we stay on the
right track we will get rid of it all and come to a complete
reconciliation with the past.
Repentance:
We all make mistakes. Some are programed by our families of
origin. Some are because of our pride or our selfishness. Some
are out of concern for those whom we love. Some we don't
recognize as mistakes. Yet, in your life, whenever I see you
recognize a mistake, you are quick to repent, quick to forgive
yourself or others, and quick to get on with your life. To me
this is the essence of repentance.
Resolutions:
You are not big on New Years Resolutions. However, when you
resolve to get up at 4:30 and to exercise for 45 minutes before
getting ready for seminary, you are absolutely firm in keeping
this resolution. And I think it is that way with each of your
resolutions.
Respect
Future (fear): Helping me make sure we live within our means is
certainly an example of a healthy respect for the future. Living
the gospel, and setting an example for our children is certainly
another example. I do hope to be able to provide enough to quell
many of your fears regarding our financial future. I realize I
will never be able to quell your fears, nor you mine, regarding
the dangers of free agency and the choices of those whom we love
the most.
Reverence:
Playing the piano for primary children can create a ambiance of
reverence. You do this well. Creating an environment where
there is no need to worry about food nor clothing nor fear for
safety creates reverence. Our home is a reverent place. Thanks!
Sacrifice:
Your sacrifice for our children is phenomenal. I think of all
that you did for your four children in raising them on your own
on a shoestring budget. I see how much time and effort you
sacrifice for my children, with the beautiful quilt you made for
Sara Ellen being the most recent example. They may not see your
sacrifice yet. I'm sure as they have their own experience with
life's challenges, there will be a much greater appreciation for
your sacrifices.
Self
Regard: Normally you are very self-confident. Sometimes you put
yourself down. Certainly in almost all of your interactions with
others you demonstrate self regards.
Serenity:
There is peace in a beautiful sunset. There is peace as the
waves roll in at the seashore. When you are worried about our
kids, you are not serene. And when life is good, you provide a
sense of safety and serenity which totally surrounds and encases
and comforts and gives me peace.
Service:
True service shows true love of our savior. If there is a call
for service, whether it be at the peanut butter cannery or to
help a sister clean her house or to actually complete a visiting
teaching assignment, there is no question about the fact Andrea
Shirts Nelson is there first and still there last, providing true
Christian service.
Shame:
Pride and selfishness keep people from being ashamed of mistakes.
I have been conditioned since childhood to play shame and blame
games. I do not see this tendency in you. Rather, I see your
feelings of shame when you make a mistake, never as an attempt to
put someone else down because you disagree with them or because
of their mistakes.
Sincerity:
There is nothing as sincere as a tearful testimony of the
restoration. I thank you for your sincerity, and for the
strength it gives me as I face the demons of my life.
Sisterhood:
I respect there are things you share with Sisters in the Ward
which are none of my business. I think it is admirable you are
such a good friend, and you are willing to protect those whom you
care about, which is pretty much everyone you know.
Steadfastness:
I like rocks. Part of the reason is that rocks are stable. They
do not change. They do not turn on you. They can be measured
and remeasured, and the measurements are predictable. You are my
rock. Thank you for being a sure anchor point in tumultuous
seas.
Temperance:
There has never been any question with me regarding your
commitment to the Word of Wisdom. When I think of the word
temperance, I think of control, and this starts with control of
those substances we take into our bodies. Thank you for the
example you set for our children and our grandchildren.
Thank you for your temperance in reacting to my mistakes.
Thanksgiving:
I know you are thankful for our blessings. I have heard you
tell the Lord. I have heard you tell the Bishop. I have heard
you tell our children. I appreciate your appreciation of our
blessings.
The
Holy Ghost: Your talk on The Holy Ghost at Jonathan Schmidt's
baptism was awesome. I know you understand the spirit. There
are many times when you tell me experiences at seminary or
someplace else that the spirit bears witness to me you are
speaking of eternal truths. Thank you for being in tune with
this most important channel of communication.
Tithing:
Tithing has always been very important to me. I have never had
to worry about our tithing being paid and being paid first. And
tithing settlement has been a very pleasant experience since you
came into my life. Thank you!
Tolerance:
I am not very tolerant with regards to some things. Thank you
for your tolerance, and for helping me to see my lack of
tolerance in a non-judgmental and tolerant way.
Trust:
I truly trust you. Thanks for being trustworthy.
Truth:
It is nice to have a friend and a companion with whom there is
never a need to backtrack nor to be concerned about consistency
with something said in the past. Knowing truth is always spoken
is a blessing, even if it somethings means I need to reevaluate
some choices.
Vulnerable:
It is hard to be open and to shear our fears and our hurts and
our concerns and our pains. You are willing to be vulnerable
with me, and for this I am grateful. I realize I have not
handled your concerns as you would desire at times. For this I
am truly sorry. Hopefully I will do better in the future.
Hopefully you will always be willing to trust me, and help me
correct mistakes when they happen.
Wealth:
True wealth is not the dollars we have, it is our children, our
grandchildren, the good times we spend together, and the hope we
have for the future. In these things we are truly wealthy. I do
anticipate we will have an opportunity to be tried by the other,
more traditional, type of wealth. I believe the trials of the
last few years have provided us with a good foundation upon which
we will be able to handle success and not loose our souls to
pride and selfishness. I certainly hope this is the case.
Work:
I can rake the lawn faster than you, and probably only barely
because my muscles are different than yours. However, I'm not
sure I have the stamina you have with it comes to yard work,
redecorating house work, or even church work. Work is a key
value of the Nelson's, and from this standpoint you fit right
into the Nelson family.
Work
with young people: I do not know anyone better than you at
working with young people. This is a most important value to me,
because the youth are our future. Thank you for your efforts
with our grandchildren, with kids at church, and with other kids
at school or elsewhere.
Worship: It is an honor
to be able to go to church with you each Sunday (even when I'm
traveling you are in church with me vicariously). It is special
to have a companion at my side as I strive to live my life in a
way that shows sincere worship of our Lord and our Savior.
