20 Aug 2006 #0634.html

Rethinking Inheritance

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Dear Family and Friends,

Welcome to this week's "Thoughtlet."

These words are my personal diary and a weekly review of ideas, beliefs, thoughts, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you: my children, my family, and my friends.

"I found some other notes on the previous Thoughtlet, Geopolitical Nexus (0633.html. There were also e-mails from Bill Bosler who is working on the Tombey Peninsula in Northern Russia doing a master plan for developing giant gas fields. There was discussions about me going to Cancun to participate in another Pemex Conference. We were doing work for a client who has $30 million to explore in Rocky Mountain Basins. Looks like Anadarko is selling off he Kerr McGee property next to the Ji Dong Oilfield, which has a large upside. And there were discussions with LITE (0640.html). None of this changes anything I wrote before, it just shows how easy it is to get caught up in the excitement of worldwide activities, to think you are in the middle of stuff that has world changing implications, and over time you find out none of it matters, nor ever makes any difference in your day-to-day life.

Andrea and I had an interesting breakfast meeting with my long-time lawyer, Eddy J. Rogers, top of his class at Harvard, and one of the top corporate lawyers in Houston. We reviewed several things which are happening right now. During the conversation, one of the things Eddie said was how nice it is to have some money in savings, and to be able to set up a trust fund to insure his grandchildren all get a first class education in the best Universities in the world. It was an interesting conversation, and every time I have thought about it, I have realized more and more I need to be more flexible in my inheritance plans. Of course, it doesn't matter much right now, because there is not that much inheritance, and it would barely keep Andrea comfortable for the rest of her life if I was to die now. However, if some of my big projects with:

  1. Full Spectral Imaging (FSI: ../0507.html, ../0521.html, ../0523.html, ../0525.html, ../0526.html, ../0527.html, ../0533.html, ../0536.html, ../0546.html, ../0547.html, ../0548.html, ../0551.html, ../0605.html, ../0608.html, and ../0622.html);
  2. Dynamic Resources Corporation (DRC: ../0317.html and ../0521.html);
  3. An Open Mind (../0451.html, ../0521.html, ../0552.html, ../0544.html, ../0605.html, ../0620.html, ../0624.html, ../0626.html, ../0627.html, ../0628.html, ../0629.html, ../0630.html, and ../0632.html);
  4. Colorado County (contact me for the user name and password: ../0341.html, ../0342.html, ../0345.html, ../0346.html, ../0401.html, ../0505.html, and ../0506.html);
  5. or other projects
come through, then there will be a significant inheritance.

Whenever I think about inheritance, I think about the story of Jacob and Esau and their father Isaac. Remember how Esau sold his birthright some red pottage (Genesis 25:24-34). The scripture says Esau despised his birthright. It has recently been brought to my attention how I, like Esau, despised my birthright. Specifically, on one of our visits to Utah, Dad and I were working on a ditch by the house when Brent Matheson came by. He offered to purchase the farm. I told Dad it was his farm and his choice. I do not recall if I said my allergies would keep me from ever running the farm as a farm. However, the conversation became emotional, and I do recall saying something to the effect of 'I will never live in this hell hole,' referring to the screaming fights Mom and Dad had night after night. Dad, said something about how he should have shut down the meat packing plant years before he did, and I did not correct his misunderstanding of my statement, specifically because Brent Matheson was standing there. It hurt Dad a lot, and for this I am truly sorry. I'm also sorry the impression was given I was attempting to have Dad give away the farm to someone who went bankrupt within a few years of this, and to do it without consulting other members of the family. It was Dad's farm, I was never going to take over farming it, and it was his to dispose of as he wanted to. Oh well!

Returning to the story of the twins Esau and Jacob, their mother, Rebekah, aided Jacob in obtaining a blessing from Isaac, by "putting skins of the kids of the goats upon his his hands, and upon the smooth of his neck" so when his blind father felt Jacob he would think it was Esau (Genesis 27:15-17). The key part of this part of the story is where Isaac says:

". . . Thy brother came with subtlety, and hath taken away thy blessing. And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. . . ." Genesis 27:35-36

The relationship of this scripture to me is the fact I moved from Cedar City when I was 18, and other than one summer (1969 after my first year of college), a few trips when Mobil was running seismic crews in Cedar (1978-1979), family visits, and visits to Mom after she had her stroke I have not been back to Cedar City. I was not there to help with my very difficult mother, and the burden fell on my sister. Sara was with Dad when he died, although she called me before she called the county sheriff or the mortician. Because of this, it is logical Dad would give her final say on how his estate would be administered. It is sad he did not write down what he wanted to have happen. Oh well!

The part of the story of Isaac and his sons which I had forgotten until I recently started to reread The Old Testament (0642.html), was what happened when Jacob and Esau met again. It was years after Jacob "supplanted" Esau, long after Jacob had left his mothers home in fear of his life. In fact it was long after he married the sisters and Rachel, and had 12 sons. This is described in Genesis 32 and 33. After being commanded by the Lord to return to his home, Jacob sent word to his brother Esau he was coming to meet him. Then when he found out Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men, he was sure Esau was going to harm him and was "greatly afraid." He divided his company (including flocks, herds, and camels) into two bands so that if Esau attacked one band, the other band could escape. Then he arranged for his servants to have gifts to appease Esau (200 she goats, 20 he goats, 200 ewes, and 20 rams, 30 milk camels with colts, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 she asses, and 10 foals.). It is obvious Jacob had obtained the birthright and the blessing by deceit, and he was afraid of the reaction of his twin brother Esau. However, the positive part of the story is Esau said, "I have enough, my brother; keep that thou hast unto thyself."

Mom and Grandma Hafen helped me on my mission. Mom sent me some money for college. I do not recall knowing Dad ever sent any money. He was recovering from the forced closure of Nelson Meat Packing Plant, just as I have spent the last decade attempting to recover from the forced closure of HyperMedia Corporation. However, I did work two jobs in Denver to earn money for my mission, and saved up quite a bit for 1970. I always had scholarships at college, and most of the time I worked (for Parker Gay at Applied Geophysics, cutting lawns for a fraternity brother, reading with disabled kids for another fraternity brother, in the Department of Geology and Geophysics, etc.), and I do not think Mom nor Dad sent that much money to help me with college. Maybe money for housing and food. When I was home for the Nelson Reunion this summer (0628.html) I went through a bunch of letters Sara had from the house. There was a will from Mom, which had never been executed, specifying how she wanted her estate split 50:50. Of course, Mom didn't really have any estate when she died, because everything having to do with the farm had been transferred to Sara and Des before Dad died, specifically because of my strong feelings about inheritance, and the events mentioned above. Dad had a verbal agreement with Aunt Sara, which Sara has kept to the letter of her understanding of this agreement. I have strived to say "I have enough, keep that thou hast unto thyself."

All of this has been part of my rethinking inheritance. In addition, it has become obvious how important of a concept inheritance is in the Judaic-Christian tradition. When God gave Abraham an everlasting inheritance in the land of Canaan for the everlasting his and his seed's everlasting possession (Genesis 17:8), the basis of inheritance was esbablished. The eldest son got a double inheritance (Deuteronomy 21:17), the Israelites inherited land (Joshua 14:9), and the concept of inheritance was firmly established by the time the Savior lived. Paul used the concept of inheritance to explain gospel principles, including in Romans 8:16-17 where he said:

'The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if the children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.'

Of course, the basis for my thinking on inheritance has been based around th Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood (D&C 84:31-38), where we are promised all that the Father has if we receive Christ, His priesthood, His servants, and His Father. The logic being tied to the fact that if multiple people can receive all that the Father has, then all that the Father has must be something which can be replicated, like a photo copy, an e-mail, data, information, knowledge, or wisdom. Since I have nothing, except that which has been given to me by God, there is nothing I can give to you, my children and my step-children, except that which can be replicated, like a photocopy, an e-mail, data, information, knowledge, or wisdom. Hopefully someday you will each come to realize how important you each are to me, how I have worked to treat you all the same, and how much I love each of you. My efforts at Prime Words; at Thoughtlets; at packaging the songs; at genealogy; at capturing all of the data, information, knowledge, and wisdom which has accompanied my various ventures; and at creating a unified web site which can be downloaded into a "white stone" (Revelations 2:17) and searched and used as a guide so you do not make the same mistakes I have made as you face your own unique trials and tribulations. To me, this is the inheritance promised to Abraham and his descendants, and thus it is the only inheritance I have wanted to give any of you; i.e. an education and an original Ken Turner painting. In my mind an education continues until we pass beyond the veil, and so I want to take each of you places, and provide opportunities to expand your minds eye.

However, based largely on the conversation with Eddy Rogers, I've softened my approach, and have been rethinking inheritance. I still absolutely want the family tradition of fighting over inheritance to stop with me. I absolutely do not want to see the ten of you struggling with the same kind of inheritance issues Dad and his siblings and Mom and her siblings never resolved, which is why I have made such a big deal out of inheritance. However, I do want to have an ongoing impact on my grandkids and their children. Therefore instead of just giving any residual left when we die to the Church, say the Fast Offering fund, I am now thinking it is appropriate to put the first $3 million in an educational trust fund for Andrea and my descendants. Then anything above this amount can go to the Fast Offering fund, to the SEG Scholarship Fund, and to the University of Utah, BYU, SUU, SMU, or other educational institutions. Of course, this paragraph may simply be more fantasy thinking. And, then again, it might turn out to be reality. And if it does, all of the issues which have created my strong feelings about inheritance come into play. How do those of you who do not have children benefit from this trust fund? What about those of you who have more children than others? What restrictions do I put on the trust fund? How do I handle the fact I will never knowingly fund someone to just party and not follow The 10 Commandments and The Word of Wisdom? How is it possible to be equitable and fair, given the obvious differences between the children and Grandchildren I love so much? And thus my mind has been wandering and struggling as I have started the process of rethinking inheritance. This is something I would definitely appreciate feedback on, as it has a direct impact on each of the 10 of you and on your families, assuming one or more of my deals actually come through, and we actually generate some real money again. Of course, to put this in perspective, I wrote the Thoughtlet titled 'Light at the End of the Tunnel' on the 7th of April 2002 (../0214.html). That is a long time ago when you think you are on a train or in a car coming out of a tunnel. If there is light at the end of the tunnel, I must be moving slower than a crawl.

Along the lines of these outstanding opportunities, on Monday I set up Meeting with Merril Littlewood, our accountant, for Wednesday. An interesting thing happened at the office. There was a call from downtown Los Angeles (isn't it interesting what we can learn from the caller ID on our phones), where the caller claimed to be somewhere a thousand miles away from where they were calling from. I found myself very angry that someone felt the need to outright lie to me about something as small as where they were. It is hard for me to regain any semblance of trust, after something like this happens. [I've purposefully not edited Thoughtlets after they are written. However, when Melanie read this, she pointed out it could have been a phone card (0652.html), there was an opportunity to confirm this, and she was right. How often do we get angry about mispreceptions? More important, how often are we sorry about our anger?] Monday there were additional e-mail conversations with Henry Ho about exploration offshore Benin and the field purchase in Russia. Monday evening Andrea and I watched 2 hours of '24' (0608.html).

Tuesday was my first day to car pool with George Schultz. I drove with him to the temple after work, and Andrea drove up with his wife Becky. We got there just in time for the temple session at 5:00. However, for the only time so far in my life, I was pulled out of the chapel to get a new new name, because the name he had given me was Josephus, and I had correctly questioned the validity of this new name. Because we were in such an early session, I was home in time to play guitar with Tyler camp, who came over to talk and play guitar with me. It was fun. Yet Andrea was certainly correct in her summary, which was something like it looked like we just took turns showing off for each other.

Wednesday I was just starting to walk walk down the stairs when Jialin called my cell phone. It resulted in two extra flights of stairs because I ran back upstairs to take notes. Then I took off work early to meet Andrea and to see Merril Littlwood in his new office at Dairy Ashford and I-59. The elevators were out, and so we walked up 4 flights of stairs. This gave me a total up and down of 60 flights of stairs for the day. I am getting stronger, even if I don't loose any weight.

Thursday morning I had my first "chat" session with Sara Ellyn using gmail (I had done one with Paul a few days prior to this):

'7:05 AM me: Are you at work, or at home? Love Dad  Sara: home 7:06 AM going to france today trying to help a friend buy a computer and packing me: Hi, I tried this out yesterday for the first time with Paul. It seems to have some good potential for keeping in contact.  Sara: definitely...never used IM (instant messaging) before?  good stuff 7:07 AM I'm just not on gmail often b/c i don't have access at work how are you? 7:08 AM me: Never before yesterday. Doing OK. Stressed on a couple of fronts. Have to go to China Tuesday. The company bought a $9,000 Business Class ticket, I feel guilty, and we don't have enough done for the presentations. Oh well!  Sara: good luck 7:09 AM me: Thanks. Be a good example in France and have a lot of fun. Talk to you after the 1st of September when I get back from China.  Sara: k, you be safe too have a good day! 7:10 AM me: bye. Love, Dad'

Thursday evening the Linux System (0630.html) finally went live went live. It sure has taken a long time to get to this stage. And of course, since I'm writing this 21 weeks in the future, there have been a lot issues since then (specifically 0650.html).

Friday power hit on the Linux system at home. AUUUUUUUUGHHHHH! It turned out OK, and the new Belkin battery backup arrived that night, so we are protected from power spikes when it happens again.

Saturday I mowed the lawns first thing. Good thing it rained. Then I spent the day moving digital photo files. My notes say 'issues' and 'World Trade Center.' I have no idea what this is shorthand for. Saturday evening Andrea and I went to the Katy Stake Youth Show Choir: 'You've Got a Friend in Me,' Produced by Trudy Sarlls. I brought home the program, and this is what it says:

'Invocation Part 1: 'The City' Sing a Song Friendship Shy Together Tomorrow Again What I've Been Looking For Gimme Gimme You've Got a Friend in Me Part 2: 'The Country' When She Loved Me Take Me Home, Country Roads I Feel Pretty Next to Loving� (I Like Fightin' Best) The Farmer and the Cowman Slide Show of Putting it together with quotes from kids' Seize The Day Benediction'

It is so much fun to watch kids perform, struggle, gain confidence, and succeed. I guess this is a good ending for my continuing process of rethinking inheritance."

Since the 38th week of 1996 I have written a weekly "Thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me). Until the 43rd week of 2004 I sent these out as an e-mail. They were intended to be big thoughts which mean a lot to me. Over time the process evolved into a personal diary. These notes were shared with my family because I know how important the written word can be. Concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life, I thought this was a good way to reach those I love. It no longer feels right to send out an e-mail and "force" my kids and my family to be aware of my life and struggles.

Everyone has their own life to lead, and their own struggles to work through. I will continue this effort, and will continue to make my notes publicly accessible (unless I learn of misuse by someone who finds out about them, and then will aggressively pursue a legal remedy to copyright infringement and I will put the Thoughtlets behind a password).

The index to download any of these Thoughtlets is at http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets, or you can e-mail me with questions or requests at rnelson@walden3d.com (note if you are not on my e-mail "whitelist" you must send 2 e-mails within 24 hours of each other in order for your e-mail to not be trashed).

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 2006 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.