"This is my second week of writing to myself. For those who do go on-line and read these notes, I guess I don't need to apologize for sending Thoughtlets to you in the past. For those who don't go on-line to read these notes, I guess it doesn't matter much if I write an apology to you or not, because you won't be reading it (at least not until some later time; although, as I think about the tape I made to start a history of my Dad, it has been 12 years, and I still have not made any progress, so maybe some of you will never get around to reading this stuff). Oh well!
Monday Maureen was back from her vacation. She said I can put Rob on my insurance, although it must be a `life changing event.' I figure his plan to move out of his Mother's house fits this category. It will be interesting to see if there are any roadblocks put in the way of this change. When I got home I gave a Family Home Evening lesson on prayer and on repentance. Sometimes I feel like I have failed to teach the basic principles of the gospel. Andrea often tells me I try to take responsibility for others choices, and I need to let go. I think we tend to share this malady.
It rained pretty hard on Monday and Tuesday. Maybe this is because I didn't insist on going on our family trip to Nauvoo over Matt's objections. Opps, I'm doing it again. Taking responsibility for something that I have no control over. Oh well! It seemed to let up a little bit on Tuesday. I was planning on staying at work late to work with Tony Traweek, however the rain had the San Bernard River out by Columbus almost overflowing, and if it overflows it gets to his house. So he changed to Wednesday night, and so Andrea and I went to the temple. I stopped and ate some chicken strips at What-A-Burger on the way. Gary Jones was there and had a family name he wanted to have done. So I was able to do an endowment for Ruben Grisby, born June 5th, 1780 in Culpepper, Virginia, a farmer and an ancestor of Gary's Mom. It was nice. And by far the nicest part was to place the names of two lovely ladies on the temple prayer roll, two ladies whom I love and worry about. Placing a name on the temple prayer roll is a way of taking responsibility, and then letting go, and trusting that the consequences of the actions of those we love and car about will be sufficient to help them choose to take advantage of our Savior's love, forgiveness, and atonement.
Wednesday was a very busy day at work. I have been trying to get hold of Jialin Yan for over a week. He does not respond. I still do not know if I am going to China and when I am going, if I am going. And it looks like the Libyans are not going to respond until after Christmas, so I won't see Sara before Christmas. I believe it is important to be optimistic, and I am starting to see how much I hurt others by stating what I optimistically hope will happen, and then it doesn't happen because things do not fall in place. Taking Rachel to Disneyland, and visiting Sara Ellyn in Benin are the two that come to the top of my mind. The management all left early. However, I had plenty of work to do and worked until 5:00. I think I was about the last person to leave. Originally I was going to work with Tony Traweek, and the flooding was so bad that he asked to postpone until next Monday. So when I got home Andrea and I started our Thanksgiving holiday off by going to a movie. We went to see `Finding Neverland.' What a wonderful movie. I thoroughly enjoyed watching a dreamer strive to find his dreams. I feel this is one of the better movies I've seen in the last few years.
Thursday was Thanksgiving. Rob arrived about 10:00 and joined Andrea, Matt, and me for the drove to Vidor. Rob picked up his birthday card from Andrea and I, and had a late birthday card for me. The card from Rob read:
On the way to Vidor we stopped at work to pick up the
computer so Matt could use it to study for the ACT/SAT
tests. My reaction to his 3 days of being suspended from
going to school was to not want to bring home the computer
so Matt isn't always playing the bloody games. It is
interesting that he only spent about five minutes working
on the computer, saying the CD wouldn't work. Sometimes
I feel so inadequate and wonder if I'm really any help to
him and others whom I love. It is so hard to know what to
do and what not to do, and when taking responsibility is
appropriate and when it is not. So this stuff was on my
mind as I drove to Vidor, as Andrea read, as Matt listened
to music, and as Rob slept. We went right to Melanie's
house, and they were just getting out the door to go over
to Glenda Wright's Mom's house (Nanna's).
I thoroughly enjoy Melanie's in-laws. I feel at home in Vidor. In many ways, it seems like Melanie is living my Walden 3-D dream. I listen to her talk about trading off on baby-sitting, or BBQ, or other things and I remember my mission experiment in consecration with Elder Nielson. This will probably be a big jump for almost anyone who reads this, but I remember how when we first moved to Texas I vowed that I would not buy a lawn edger. It seemed like such a waste for everyone on a street to have a lawn edger, and a lawn edger became the symbol of selfishness and everything I didn't want to become. The opposite of consecration and living the gospel, as I had strived so hard to do on my mission. Well, I bought a lawn edger shortly after we moved into our first house on Hanover Street in Dallas, and have had it ever since. And every time I pull it out to edge the lawns I think back to those idealistic times, which in many ways seem similar to the way Melanie and Jared live in Vidor. Of course, they still have cars, and they do not live in a 3-D community, and they do not have the amenities I envision. But Melanie and Jared do have a very significant family support infrastructure. This is the intangible portion of the Walden 3-D dream which I wrote about in my song `I Once Saw A Family' (../9652.html, ../9825.html, ../9836.html, ../9901.html, ../0003.html, ../0037.html, ../0218.html has the words written out, ../0250.html, and 0406.html). Being in Vidor is sort of like the way I grew up watching Dad, Uncle Bud, Uncle Dick, and the farmers in Cedar Valley work together. I felt like I should sing this song to the two Grandma's, but I didn't want to intrude, and so I was quiet and just watched, talked a little, played with Colby on the little cars, and enjoyed a great Thanksgiving dinner. Not getting in anyone's way, and not taking any responsibility.
After lunch, playing, and listening to Rob serenade us, we went over to Melanie and Jared's. Rob went to sleep. So did I for a while. Melanie asked what the plan was, and I responded I have no plan. I did bring money to take everyone to a movie, and it seemed like there were other plans going on and so I never brought it up. Oh well! Maybe I was just avoiding taking responsibility. Now that I'm commuting rather than jogging, and since I've felt a lot of stress the last couple of months, I've gained back 15-20 pounds, and it seemed OK to just spent the afternoon sitting around. Oh well!
At about 6:00 we went over to the Wrights and watched a CD that they had. It was called something like `The Get Well Card Miracle.' It was really good. Matt was playing the computer and Rob was sleeping. I felt like they could have gained a lot by watching it. Oh well! I need to quite taking responsibility for their choices. Colby was putting milk on his hands and then rubbing it on the screen, and I stopped him. He did not like being stopped. Hopefully I did it in a way where he started to learn the concept of taking responsibility. We left shortly after the movie and were back in Houston before 10:00 PM. Rob agreed to go to The Houston Museum of Natural Science with me on Friday.
I finally got hold of Jialin Yan at about 1:30 AM on Friday. We were on the phone for over an hour. I am going to go to China next week. About 2:30 AM I conferenced Jialin with Gijs Vermeer in Holland, the seismic acquisition expert that is to go with me. I think this is the first time I have conferenced China and Europe from the house. Gijs was at the University of Delft, and so Jialin and I talked to Gijs' wife Tina. Andrea gave me a bad time about sleeping in until almost 9:00 Thanksgiving morning. I didn't really feel like I got that much sleep, and maybe I need to be taking more responsibility for sleeping in.
One of the reasons Matt didn't want to go to Nauvoo was because he wanted to play in Chris Schmidt's Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl. Andrea was going to go watch him, and she decided to go to the museum with us instead. Rob had to go to work at 3:00 and so we took 2 cars down. There were long lines and so he was only able to go to the exhibit `Tibet Treasures' with us. In many ways I found this the most interesting. I made a lot of notes about the similarities between Tibetan Buddhism and the church. I asked the guy at the entrance if he had ever been to Tibet. He said, `No, I don't think they want any westerners in there.' And I am possibly going to be in Tibet next week. I didn't tell him. After this exhibit we went to a Chinese Restaurant I had gone to several times when I worked at the University of Houston across from the old Digicon office. Both Andrea and Rob liked it, and Rob made it to work on time. My fortune said:
Andrea and I went back to see `The Dead Sea Scrolls'
exhibit. We had tickets to the 4:15 entrance time. It
was 3:30 when we got back to the museum. We actually
got into the exhibit at about 5:00. It was very
interesting. However, I have been to the Scroll Museum
in Jerusalem, and for the most part this is a pretty
fluffy exhibit. The most interesting thing to me was
quotes from `The Book of Enoch,' which closely parallel
what Joseph Smith taught. It is worth seeing and I
encourage anyone who visits Houston before the first
of January to arrange a day to see this. Before these
scrolls were discovered, the earliest Biblical
manuscript was about 900 AD. The scrolls date to just
before until just after Christ. It is significant that
there has been very little change in these scriptures
from the time of Christ until now. Andrea and I got
home at 7:03, just in time to watch `Enterprise' and
`JAG.' It was a nice day, and there was no need to
worry about taking responsibility.
I spent most of Saturday putting together a different kind of Christmas card. I like it. It is a little bit complicated. Andrea didn't like it at first, and as she looked at it I think it grew on her. I was also copying Thoughtlets I haven't mailed to Sara Ellyn. I am going to send them to her as part of her Christmas present. I did take time off about 4:00 to go see `Christmas with the Kranks' with Andrea and Matt, who sat in the very back of the theater. Matt has done a very good job of taking responsibility for the fight he got in and for getting expelled from school. He still wants to play games on the computer, and so it has been a hard weekend for him. I think we all let down our hair a little bit with the movie. It is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. It is the kind of movie we need to have for when Grandkids come to visit. I think this could become a staple for Grandkids between 8 and 50, which is longer than I will be able to show it to them. It can even be said this movie is about taking responsibility. Shortly after we got back Gary Jones called and asked if I would go and help him give a blessing to one of the Sister Missionaries, Sister Clark. Of course I did, and as I drove over there and back I cried because Sara Ellyn does not have anyone to call to give her a priesthood blessing when she needs some help.
Sunday morning started with an e-mail from Heather. I feel so sorry for her, and it breaks my heart to learn of choices she is making. I won't quote the e-mail because it was to Andrea and because it was not Heather in her right mind writing it. It certainly was not a letter about taking responsibility. Oh well! I admit I was pretty down when we went to church. A couple of folks mentioned it. I felt a lot better by the time we left. Mark Beckstrom was one of the Sacrament Meeting speakers and I extracted the following possible Prime Words stanza from his talk:
Matt and I went to practice for a men's number we will
be singing on the 19th of December. My Home Teaching
companion was visiting a friend for the holidays, and
so I went over to the Schmidt's alone. We had a nice
visit. Chris is very impressed that I am going back
to China and might go to Tibet. There were a lot of
excited phone calls this evening. I'm not up to the
estrogen emotions that can go on sometimes. Wouldn't
it be nice if we all were simply taking responsibility."