cc: file, Andrea, Tony Hafen, Sara and Des Penny, & Maxine Shirts
"This is a continuation of the last Thoughtlet (0436.html). So after I finally found the Staheli residence, I got on I-15 and drove the few miles to the BYU exit and Paul and Kate's place. It was good to see them, and Grant and Ella. Although Grant was very shy and Ella doesn't recognize me at all. Shortly after I got there we had a wonderful dinner of steak and potatoes. No wonder Paul has become such a big guy. Grant modeled his green Halloween costume, and we were sitting around doing family stuff when the phone rang. It was Andrea. There was a fire in Audrey's apartment and most of her stuff was ruined. Andrea wanted to let me know and to see if I could go to Salt Lake and help. I got directions to take I-15 to I-80 to 13th East, turn right at the Sizzler and go to 2249 South 19th East.
Paul had his wits about him more than me, and got together a box of garbage bags. We decided to take his car because it was a station wagon and we could get more stuff in it. And so shortly after I arrived in Provo we headed out for Salt Lake and Audrey's fire. And at last, after a week of wondering if I was just crazy, I had an understanding why I had had such a strong impression that it was important for me to stay in Utah for a the week between Ella's blessing (0435.html) / the Willis' 50th wedding anniversary and the Hafen Reunion (0436.html).
It is hard to put in words the feelings as one drives to a tragedy involving someone you love. There were thoughts about how much my life seems like a soap opera (from visiting the Staheli's home a few hours earlier, because of the tragic death of my friends Todd and Michelle (../0349.html, 0350.html, 0351.html, etc.) to feelings and reactions to Heather's fiancee to my big ideas about a new type of city to Audrey's fire. And most of all there were genuine concerns for you, Audrey. Life has not been very easy for you the last few years. For what it is worth, I think this is because you are tough enough to handle the challenges and because our Savior loves you and is willing to let you go through some hard times so you will know Him better and know in your heart of hearts how strong and how good of a person you are. I know He loves you, and wants the very best for you, just as I do.
The fire trucks were all gone by the time Paul and I arrived at the scene. However, there were still two fire investigators in the room going over everything one last time. I got my digital camera out and took several photos from outside. They turned out, and yet they are not so detailed that I figure it is worth including them in this Thoughtlet. The bottom line is Audrey broke up with her boyfriend. His divorce was not finalized, and her Bishop told her it was the right thing to do. He was also told it was not appropriate for him to be going to the singles ward when he was still married. Audrey had lit a candle and went for a walk. She was only gone about 10 minutes when the fire happened. The wind blew a curtain into the open flame and whooose, the room was on fire.
The good news is the fire was mostly contained in Audrey's room. The bad news is the fire was mostly contained in Audrey's room. The good news is neighbors saw the fire, broke a window and turned a hose on the fire. The bad news is the water mixed with the soot got in everything Audrey had. The good news is the fire was mostly out by the time the fire trucks arrived. The bad news is the fire was pretty consuming inside the room. The good news is key things, like Mom's cross-stitch and key papers were not totally ruined. The bad news is key things, like Mom's cross-stitch and Audrey's blanket and favorite stuffed animal, were covered with soot and smoke and some were soaked with water. The good news is this provided an opportunity for members of the single's branch to provide service. The bad thing is there were almost too many people there and it was hard to coordinate what everyone was doing. The good thing was that her photo album was not ruined. The bad thing is it was damaged. The good news is Audrey was very glad to see Paul and me. The bad news was the simply the circumstances under which we were getting together.
Audrey was telling everyone it was all her fault. I asked her to not take any blame, and to say it was just an accident. She had a blonde roommate that arrived just after we did. She talked about how candles can have flaws and can just burst into big flames, which could have been the reason for the fire. I passed this mature reasoning onto Audrey and encouraged her to not accept the blame until an investigation was completed.
The fire investigators finished their work and told us we could remove Audrey's stuff as long as we did not move anything where the desk had been and where the fire had started. So Paul and I made our best effort to organize everyone and to get everything put into black plastic garbage bags. We loaded up Paul's station wagon. However, after we had it filled up, Audrey's Visiting Teachers told us they had made arrangements for all of her clothes to be washed and for a storage place for all of here other stuff. So we unloaded the station wagon and moved everything to the back of a pickup. There were probably about 50 folks from the ward there as we went through all of this process.
At one point the most traumatic part for Audrey was misplacing her blanket and her favorite stuffed dog. I'm glad Paul and I were able to be there. Audrey and I hugged each other and cried and talked and it was very special for me to be able to provide some support. She asked for a blessing. So Paul and I and her Home Teachers laid hands on her head and I gave her a blessing. We talked and cried and hugged some more. It is so sad to see unnecessary tragedy.
We met Audrey's boyfriend she had just broken up with. Neither Paul or I were very impressed based on first appearances. He was nice, offering us a coke to drink, and asking if there was anything he could do for us. Since that time, his divorce has been finalized and Audrey is using his web server for her e-mail. The bottom line is he must be special, and it looks to me like Paul and I will have an opportunity to adjust our first impressions. Audrey, Rachel, Sara, and Heather, you girls are some of Heavenly Father's most beautiful children, and you each deserve the very best in terms of a companion. You each deserve a Jared Wright, and I'm convinced there is a Jared Wright out there looking for each of you. And maybe Audrey and Heather have found their Jared Wrights, and I just need to have the scales fall from my eyes. One thing is for sure, just like with Nathan Pace, time will tell. Being an adult, making grown up decisions, and living with the consequences of those decisions is not for sissies. And even when you fall down, like I have time and again, I know each of you will get back up and continue the good fight.
The ward really stepped in. There was a High Counselor there who brought some sheets of plywood and secured the premises. There was plenty of folks to help. There was a place for Audrey and her roommates to stay. There was a place for all of the smoky clothes to be washed. There was a place to put other things until they were washed and cleaned up. And about 11:30 Paul and I realized there was not much else we could do. So we drove back down to Provo. Kate and the kids were already asleep.
I got up early Monday morning and drove to the Salt Lake Airport. I called Audrey to see if there was anything else I could do. I think I woke here up. She said everything was under control. So I went to the airport, turned in the rental car, and got on the waiting list for a flight to Houston. I was tired. For example, it turns out I left my razor in Paul and Kate's bathtub. I got on the plane on Labor Day morning and fell sound asleep. I was dreaming about the destruction of Audrey's fire and the creation of a multifamily facility in Red Cove (0436.html). It was good to be coming home after 10 days away. And the time away seemed to help me put my little problems and concerns into perspective.
When I got back there were several interesting messages. The following came from Dave Deford:
I responded with an update on everyone and an interest in
taking those of you interested on a church history tour and
visiting the Defords. Dave came back with:
Tuesday was a day to catch up with e-mail's and voice mails.
Audrey called to talk to me about the legal ramifications of
her fire, and to talk through some of the steps she was
taking to protect herself against lawsuits. Hopefully we
were of some help, although I admit this is new to me.
Wednesday I was asked to find out from Gary Jones if Fred has an agreement with SMT yet. He was not at Young Men's, as he has been released as the Young Men's President. I finally talked to him on Sunday, and they have an agreement with Fred, except for a letter from GDC. I passed this on to my bosses.
Thursday morning I went to Matt's Seminary class. I had to cancel when I had signed up to attend before because of the sudden trip to Mexico (see 0435.html). The seminary class was about marriage, and how bad it is to be divorced. The intentions are well founded, and yet I know that folks like Matt, and like me, have our hearts torn out again and again, in fact, every time there is a lesson like this. There is no question but what life is not easy.
Andrea left for Utah Friday morning to meet Bob Wrench, after teaching her seminary class. I was a bit late getting home from work on Friday. Matt and I drove up past 290 and Barker Cypress to attend Raymond O'Bryan's Eagle Court of Honor. It was at a beautiful location in the country just north of 290 and off of Cypress Rosehill. There was a ranch next to a lake. Matt drove, and we were 20 minutes late, but they had not started by the time we got there. It was a very nice service. One of the nicest Eagle Court of Honors I've been to. Matt did not want to drive back, and we left a little while after eating some deserts.
Saturday evening was Dawn and Haley Abernathy's baptismal service. I was particularly impressed by the song: `A Child's Prayer,' which was sung by Elder Knell and Elder Christensen. After the baptismal service I went over to the Community Recreation Center on Cimmeron Parkway to Matthew David Salt and Deborah Denise Hunt's wedding reception. I was one of the first there, and I stayed for quite a while. Matt talked very positively about the time he spent working for GDC digitizing logs. I talked to Adam about his plans, and to Nathan and Andrew about their plans. Sister Janet Bartlet came over and talked to me and said I was being a wall flower and needed to talk to people. I was mostly waiting to see if Alan Peterson was going to come. He didn't and so I went over to see him and Patrice. The operation was a success, and he seemed glad for the company. He showed me a wonderful genealogy book he has just finished writing on his ancestors in England. There is so much good work that goes on in the background that we never see or never learn about until we ask or there is a tragedy like Audrey's fire.
Well after I got home, quite late Saturday night there was a call from Loren Roberts late telling me that her sister Jennifer had been in a one car accident and Loren was asking me to pray for her sister and her Dad (0438.html). I stopped by the Robert's home on the way to Sacrament meeting and left a note asking Joe to give me a call. It was different going to church without Andrea. Andrea, I missed you a lot. In High Priest Quorum meeting I wrote a possible stanza for Prime Words:
Matt and I stopped by to see Joe and Linda Roberts on
the way home. They were home, and there were a lot of
other people there also. Jennifer's heart had stopped on
Saturday, and she had been pronounced brain dead earlier
in the day on Sunday. It was her 20th birthday. I will
write more about Jennifer Roberts in my next Thoughtlet
(0438.html). It did seem like a one-two punch to the
gut, after having just gone through Audrey's fire."