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"Being a parent is hard. Especially when those you love more than anyone or anything else in the world, choose a different path than the one you have found, taught, and struggled to share. It is so easy for me to second guess everything I have done, to find myself taking responsibility for the choices others make, and to beat myself because I have not measured up, and specifically because of the choices of those I love. In the Time Magazine supplement on computers and the web this week, there was a quote that brought out all of my insecurities. Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a pediatrician and the author of best-selling books about kids was quoted as saying:
The logical corollary is that if your kids don't do what you want
them to, it is because you have devalued them. As I look back, I
can see how I was too hard on Roice and Rob, the first and the last,
and maybe that is why they don't read these weekly efforts to say
I love you. So was being hard devaluing, as descibed above? I'm
sure those of you who do read these, or skim, the Thoughtlets, have
your own views of whether you felt I was devaluing you. Was I
simply playing out a family script? Does this make me responsible
for everyone's choices? Good and bad choices? If there is anything
I can do now to make up for my mistakes in the past? I've concluded
the thing to do is to not dwell on the mistakes. We need to simply
get on with our lives, and hope those on different paths come to
realize how much I love them, and how well intended choices were,
choices we were each involved in making. Being a parent is hard.
The context of the above quote was from an article about pornography and the Internet, which most of you realize is a theme I keep finding myself coming back to. There were three other quotes in the same section, each with a downside and an upside:
There are two places in the scriptures that mention a phrase about information becoming available upon the housetops, which I think relates to the Internet, to those things like pornography which are devaluing our society, as well as hinting at how this moral destruction will be stopped using the same medium:
Imagine a system for automatic self-classification of data. Bob Ehrlich has developed one of these, which is being used to classify hundreds of attributes on ten's of thousands of wells, and which is a key component of what Dynamic Resources is doing. Imagine this system being fine tuned to automatically self classify all of the e-mail coming into your computer from the Internet. I have saved almost all of the e-mail I have ever received, and plan to run them through a yet to be developed version of the automated self-classification system. Imagine how this indexing will provide context for all e-mail, allowing those e-mail's with trash in them to be separated from those without. I intend to have an e-mail filter built which returns any e-mail ever coming from one of these sources to the sender with a list of the e-mails they have sent in the past and why they were offensive and devaluing. Imagine how this automated self-classification can be expanded to web-sites, and provide the basis of a filter to protect those in our care from the trash of today. I anticipate this project, which based on current cash flow will not be undertaken in ernest for several years, will prove to be of tremendous interest to those wishing to protect those they love from the `pornography bark beetle' (0129.html). Imagine the impact as these filters are made available to caring parents across the world, those who want to protect those they love from the grasp of those who truly seek to devalue, take advantage of, and mold their children into someone who is addicted to substances or appetites or fashions or trends and into individuals who loose the ability to freely choose because of these addictions. It will be interesting to watch the next couple of decades, and to see if these words are a rememberance of the future, and the way in which the rebellious will be pierced with much sorrow.
There was an interesting article in today's paper about Maya scribes. It was written by John Noble Wilford, the guy the New York Times sent out to Mesquite, Nevada to visit the Mobil seismic crew back in the late 1970's (see ../9938.html). I quote:
I could go on, and I think this part of the quote is enough to
demonstrate how Mormon's prophetic words are coming true:
And maybe as this information becomes available it will turn out
to be the basis of our personal judgement, and especially piercing
with much sorrow to those who are rebellious. In the meantime,
I hope those of you that read these words, whether it be at age
18 or 27 or 38 or 47, you will realize in my heart and in my mind
there was never a conscious intent to devaluing any of you. You
are each wonderful people, with wonderful talents, and you each
have opportunities that virtually every person ever born on planet
earth would be justified in envying.
Take for example this week in my life. I forgot to mention that one of the reason's last Sunday was special was because Melanie and Jared stopped to see us on their way to Austin. It was sure good to see you guys. Melanie, I know you want our family to be perfect and like some of your friends families. We're not. I'm sorry for my part. However, together we can make it a long ways towards arriving at this goal. I worked Sunday night after writing the Thoughtlet. I was getting a presentation for Monday morning together. Oh well! Monday morning I met Swede Nelson at La Madeleine's in Sugar Land off of Highway 6 at 7:15 AM. It is really hard for me to comprehend how different Highway 6 is now, compared to when I would commute up Highway 6 from Missouri City to Landmark's first office at the beginning of Buffalo Buyou and Highway 6. Ted Collins, founder of HNG (Houston Natural Gas, now Enron) joined us at about 7:30.
The three hour breakfast was humbling and interesting. They both had several comments about why Dynamic has not taken off yet. None of which were related to investment money. It would have been very easy to interpreted their care as devaluing. At the end of the breakfast Swede had Ted sit down and he said, `In my opinion, Dynamic Resources has better technology and can out perform Chevron or Exxon-Mobil today.' Flattering, and I happen to agree with him. Now the key is going to be to turn technology into business and cash. Heather and Audrey, even though it doesn't look like it will occur as fast as I want it to, we have resources that will allow us to come up with the money for your college needs. Ben, I do need your car title. Paul and Melanie, your car payments are becoming a burden, and I need to know if you are able to take on part or all of the payments on your own volition, or whether I will have to make the hard decision as to cutting off this expense when I return from the High Adventure trip the first of August.
We went over to Chroma and introduced Ted to their technology. While we were there Swede Nelson told a wonderful story with a great moral. He described how he and a group of oil company executives were in a plane in West Africa and someone said don't move or I will shoot you. He stood up, and someone else said drop your gun or your dead. he sat down as the guns started blasting. A couple of minutes later the four kidnappers were dead, the plane was pulled out of a nose dive, and he was being a medic bandaging up the wounds of some of the other oil company executives. The next day as he was flying back to San Francisco, he took time to think about what he wished he had done, that he hadn't, in case it would not have turned out like it did. At the top of the list was to tell his son the simple words, `I love you.' Then he challenged each of us with sons to tell our children that we love them. I hope that those of you who read these Thoughtlets know how much I love you. I hope that those who don't know how much I love them. And I will strive to do a better job of telling all of you, in person and on the phone, in addition to using this medium, over the coming months and the rest of your lives.
I met Neal Broussard at II&T and we had lunch and caught up. Ted joined us and Neal introduced him to data mining and the ideas behind automated self-classification. Then Dick Coons joined us and gave a presentation on his AVO (Amplitude Verses Offset) and fault shadow velocity Prospects in the North Padre Island area offshore Texas. It was a good day, and there will hopefully be some business come out of it. Swede was especially optimistic about the idea of applying the temperature pressure subcompartmentalization of the Gulf of Mexico hydrodynamic system offshore Nigeria through his contacts at NPC (Nigerian Petroleum Corporation). I went from downtown to Nit Nui on Woodway near Fountain View for a dinner with Ron Bruhn (University of Utah Department of Geosciences Department Chairman), Margie Chan (assistant chariman), and several former students who now live in Houston. It was an eye-opener to be the oldest there. I left the U before either of the professors arrived, and the students graduated 3 to 10 years ago, where as I graduated in 1974. The department is doing some good stuff, and has a nice outreach program to the oil industry. I expect I will become more involved in all of this.
Tuesday I worked at Chroma for 8 hours, Thursday afternoon for 5 hours, Friday I trained Sam on Chroma using the Fairfield Data for 2 hours and spent 4 hours working the Texaco data. The results on the Fairfield data are spectacular. The Texaco data is an enigma. I have made some really neat 3-D displays. Hopefully it will all turn out OK and the client will be satisfied. Wednesday I worked at the house until 11:00. The alternator on Andrea's car went out on the way back from Girl's Camp on Tuesday. We picked up her car Wednesday and I drove to Galveston for a vPatch Board of Director's meeting. It looks like vPatch will get off of the ground. They were talking about $1/2 million angel funding, and I suggested the Board (except poor me) put up the money. E-mail's later in the week said this was going to happen. I worked at II&T until about 8:30 PM, and was up until midnight printing images for the BP meeting Thursday morning. Big companies can't make a decision. It was a good meeting. Dick Coons was there to support my presentation, and it seemed to go reasonably well. Time will tell whether they are interested or were devaluing what we said.
Thursday night Andrea and I went to Kathy Duncan's 50th birthday party at Ninfa's on Memorial between Eldridge and Dairy Ashford. It was a lot of fun. I've never taken time for parties, and especially where everyone drinks and I don't know them. Doug Nester, whom I worked with when Landmark owned Exploitech, and his wife were there. Andrea even got me out on the dance floor for one dance. Good music, good food, good friends, and a nice evening on the patio for July. Peter's son has this wonderful electric violin, and everytime I hear him play it I want to buy one for Ben. Maybe someday, when they are more devalued.
Andrea went back to Girl's Camp Friday night. I called Mic Patterson, and he said Roice stopped to see him earlier in the day. Guess he is in L.A. for a wedding. He said to me, `What is this, Roice day?' Interesting coincidence (../9715.html). Mic sounds good, and it sounds like Advanced Structures is doing some really neat projects. I am looking forward to going out and talking to all of the troops and telling them how what they are doing relates to what Dynamic Resources is doing, and how Mic and I hope to pull it all together someday.
John Snideman stayed with us, because his parents were in Utah and he is going on the High Adventure on Monday. He called Rob on his own inituitive, and Rob called me and told me to never have someone call him again. I told Rob I love him, and hung up because I have no reason to listen to that type of devaluing. It is hard being a parent. Matt and John and I went to Jurassic Park III Friday night. I guess I classify it as a horror film. I like the dinosaurs and the animation, and it was an awful lot like Jurassic Park II. Saturday I worked in the yard for the first time in months. Hedging the red tips and other big plants in the front and back yard which were too tall for Andrea and Matt. John helped me clean up, and when Andrea got back from camp she worked on them too. She also got Matt out helping us. Rachel got back from EFY (Especially For Youth, a BYU outreach program) while John and I were working in the front yard. It sounds like this was a wonderful week. I wish I would have known about these when each of you were growing up. Oh well! It would be good for each of you to ask Rachel about them, and to consider how EFY can play a role in your future life, whether in the near term or in the lives of your children or grandchildren.
John gave Matt his Nintendo, and so Matt is quite preoccupied. The yard work wore me out. Andrea and I went to see America's Sweetheart in the evening. It was funny and gross. I don't see why it is necessary to have actors say some of the things they do. Devaluing to women, to men, and to the movie profession. Oh well! I have also been working on catching up my e-mail filing since I got home from Peter's party Thursday evening. Matt and I went to Home Teach Steve and Sarina Riches, a new family we have been assigned this afternoon. And now that this is written, I need to go pack for the High Adventure. There will not be a Thoughtlet next Sunday, I'll attempt to e-mail it out during that week after we get back Tuesday evening. Hope you each have a great week, and that there it doesn't include devaluing."