cc: file, Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail., Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Diane Cluff, Maxine Shirts via mail.
"Yesterday was the Special Olympics, at the Katy High School football field and track. This has become an annual event. I did not go.
Emotionally I remember the first Special Olympics our stake held like it was yesterday. In fact, the tears come to my eyes as I even try to write about the event. It was a significant emotional milestone for me. As near as I can now reconstruct it, this was the day when I realized, as a parent, I had lost the ability to give direction and council to a child I loved and always will love. I do not understand what really happened and why it happened. Maybe the child was afraid of being around people with physical handicaps. Maybe I was afraid of being around the handicapped. Maybe I was too letter of the law in requiring you kids to participate in church programs. Maybe I was too full of myself, because this was the time when there was a lot of money in the bank from selling Landmark Graphics stock. Maybe I had an emotional explosion, a neural hijacking, as Danniel Goleman describes the neural tripwire on page 14 in his book titled Emotional Intelligence. Maybe `impulsive feelings overrode the rational ones, sending urgent messages to every major part of the brain, triggering the secretion of the body's fight-or-flight hormones, mobilizing the centers for movement, activating the cardiovasular system, the muscles, and the gut' (ibid. page 16). Maybe I had not heard of Aristotle's Challenge:
Maybe my spirit remembered the future and the consequences of this day in terms of mission, temple marriage, eternal family relations, etc. Maybe Satan controled the situation. Maybe there were things going on I had absolutely no idea about. Maybe there was lingering emotional fallout from the first time the word divorce was used and the time I had walked to Brookshire and had considered stepping in front of an on-coming train as inappropriately shared in a Sacrament Talk on May 22nd, 1994 (../9835). Maybe, as with most emotional hijackings, I simply blew everything out of porportion. Maybe it was all in my mind, and I need to just forget about it.
When Andrea came home from helping, she reminded me of some of the history of the first Special Olympics. Mike Pickerd a member of the Kiwanis Club was told this was becoming too big of a job for the Kiwanis Club. Mike said he could get 500 volunteers in a day, if it was an appropriate service project. When the Board of Directors of the Katy Independent School Board found out, they did everything they could to stop `Mormon' involvement. The Board was comprised of several individuals from a dominant church, a church which was aggressively attacking the `Mormons' with sermons, inflamatory and false videos, special evenings to learn what to do when approached by `Mormon Missionaries,' etc.
K.I.S.D. had never required the Kiwanis Club to have a bond when they did the Special Olympics. However, as soon as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints became involved, there were a series of efforts to stop the event. This culminated with the K.I.S.D. Board suddenly requiring a $1 million bond, `in case there were any accidents on school property.' According to Gary, President Steward called the appropriate representative up, and said `Is it only a one million dollar bond you want? Are you sure it is not a ten or twenty million dollar bond?' He then called Salt Lake and had a million dollar bond in place that afternoon. And the rest is history.
I still have my T-Shirt from this first Special Olympics. On the back it says `UGOTAWANA '93' and lists 180 participants, several of whom, as near as I can recall, were not there. `UGOTAWANA' translates as `You have got to want to.' As mentioned in the second paragraph, my emotions were peaked. I recall the raising of the American Flag, which I love with a real depth I fear I have not transferred to you kids, and am so proud to have represent me.
I should have gone to yesterday's Special Olympics opening ceremony, just to listen to Rachel and her friends sing `The Star Spangled Banner.' I recall the grand entry of all of the participants, with their obvious physical limitations, and with the music from `Chariots of Fire' playing in the background. As I think of their physical handicaps, I once again reconsider the invisible and yet very real emotional handicaps I have struggled with over my life. The beauty of emotional unintelligence, as compared to other types of intellitence, which are genetically given and largely unchangable by life experiences - including to a greater or lesser degree verbal and mathematical-logical alacrity, spatial capacity (which is the type of intelligence I am blessed to have been born with), kinesthetic genius (physical intelligence including grace, coordination, fluidity), musical gifts, interpersonal skills, intrapsychic capacity, leadership, relationship nurturing, conflict resolution, and social analysis (ibid. p. 38) - is the fact we can always improve our emotional intelligence.
Improving emotional intelligence is like preparing for any sports event, say like the Special Olympics. Usually we just need a coach to help us. My emotional coach was Dr. Nancy White at PAIRS, the impact of which is shown by my referring to Pairs in at least 42 separate Thoughtlets since taking this class. On the other side, as I see the lingering impact of divorce in your lives, I wish I would have had and Andrea and Rick could have had this coaching earlier in our lives. Then I hear Steve Joseph's words: `fairness is not a basic principle, and life just is not fair' and it again opens my eyes as to how thankful I am for Andrea coming into my life. If one of the business projects I have been working on actually happens in the way we have planned, and if there is any extra cash which becomes available, one of the first things I would like to invest in is a course in improving emotional intelligence, and making the course available to help coach each of you.
When I searched for the words `Special Olympics' in past Thoughtlets, the only reference was tied to a long discussion on marriage and associated challenges with a member of the Stake Presidency as part of a temple recommend interview (../9802.html). There is something about providing service to someone, especially someone who you can visibly see needs it, which opens hearts and understandings. I later learned this conversation resulted in our call as missionaries in the Columbus Branch. The cynical side of me notes the fact this conversation was also just prior to this brother going inactive in the church. None of us are spared from the arrows of the adversary.
For example, in Nate's Marriage Proposal to Heather, there was some adversity. Like each of us in different areas of our lives, they faced their own personal Special Olympics. Here is their story, as merged from separate e-mails:
Nate wrote:
Heather continued with:
Heather and Nate, thanks for your candor and openness. I personally find the honesty refreshing, and believe you will find it cleansing to have shared your story, and will be able to build a wonderful eternal family on the happiness and and relationship you are building through your faith and reliance on our Lord and Savior. It is easier to avoid the holes in the road of life if we know what to watch out for. For reference, I have now received descriptions, allbeit brief descriptions, of Paul's (0014.html) and Jared's (0015.html) marriage proposals, and will include them in upcoming Thoughtlets, as noted above. So other than the Special Olympics, what else happened this week?
Rob, Rachel, and Matt had Spring Break all week. I worked on Ken Turner's web pages in the mornings and evenings, and at work spent a lot of time filing and cleaning up stuff at the office. For a change, I didn't feel like I was participating in the workplace Special Olympics, which is what most weeks feel like. Monday evening Sherri Trittippo and her two daughters Avery and Taylor joined us for dinner and Family Home Evening. I gave a lesson on extended families, since Sherri is the daughter of my second cousin Keith and Evelyn Nelson, and Bengt Nelson, Sr. is our common ancestor. She is already divorced, only has limited custody of her daughters, feels very challenged, and is participating in her own Special Olympic challenges. It was a nice evening for all of us.
Tuesday I went to listen to Alistair Brown speak at the joint GSH/HGS (Geophysical Society of Houston / Houston Geological Society) luncheon. Alistair and I have competed for years (../9813.html), and his talk title, although not the content, is right in the middle of the preliminary patent Continuum has filed for (../9905.html, ../9945.html, 0003.html, 0008.html, and 0009.html). His title was `Let your data speak to you.' There were several comments from the audience about things like `What if it speaks a different language?' It will be interesting to see the reaction when Peter Duncan and I sit in an immersive environment at the Calgary SEG, playing our guitars (../9945.html)and singing along with sounds derived directly from seismic and well data. Fact is, it will be interesting to see if we can pull this vision off and even to see if Continuum will still be in existance by August 2000. Tuesday evening Andrea and I went to the church and got tickets to attend the Palmyra Temple Dedication, which will be broadcast live over an encrypted channel to many Stake Centers around the world, including the Katy Stake Center. I think this is really an exciting development, even to the point of extending the concept of Special Olympics to a new plateau.
Wednesday morning Jeff had a product and project review meeting. It was really quite exciting to hear all of the stuff each of us are working on, and how powerful this will be once the industry accepts it. Jeff spent an hour with me reviewing plans for spinning Continuum's Perth operation off into an Australian public offering, and plans for selling the other assets we have. I spent a couple of hours later in the morning with Alf Klaviness, learning more about his latest pulsar test. Ten years ago I didn't think it would work. This time he has data that looks like it could change drilling worldwide. It was his 86th birthday, he gave me copies of several of his favorite things, and I'm going to do my best to help him prove the value of his pulsar. I drove down to Rice University to attend a meeting of the Rice Alliance, a new inituitive in entrepreneurship, only to find when I got all the way down there that the meeting wasn't until Thursday night. Oh well! Thursday evening Rob, Rachel, Matt, Andrea, and I drove to Austin. Rob and Matt stayed with Roice. Rachel, Andrea, and I stayed at a LaQuinta Inn. I made reservations at the wrong one, and it was a hassle. Oh well! I spent all day Thursday and Friday in the annual GeoQuest 2000 Technical Forum. It was my first time to attend a GeoQuest Technical Forum. As I walked in, someone said, `I'm suprised to see you here. Guess it is easy to equate the competitive activities of Landmark with Landmark's father.' My mind immediately jumped to one of my most personal fears: namely that others will look down on me because of the choices of my children. Oh well! I could write another epistle about the forum, and since I am attending Landmark's Worldwide Technology Forum Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I expect this will become part of what I write about next week.
For those not with us, Thursday evening we had a nice dinner at The Arboreutum Olive Garden with Roice, Melanie, and Sara. There were misscommunications, delays, missing people, special trips to pick people up or drop them off, and all in all it was a kind of Special Olympics. The emotional crux of the dinner was when Sara turned to me and said, `Dad, you have screwed up my entire life!' Everyone paused, and I gulped, `I'm sure that is true.' She then said, `Everyone is always giving me a bad time about cleaning up everything on my plate!' And Melanie chimed in with `Mine too! I'm always having people give me a bad time about always cleaning up my plate.' I guess it could be worse. Rob, Rachel, and Matt, I'm sorry you were so bored during the two days you were there. I'm glad you came. Rob, I do not understand what triggered your emotional meltdown when we got home, and I'm sorry it happened. I look forward to working through the issues with you. It is nice we can learn from our emotional reactions, and especially nice this need not be a permanent character trait, especially with the right Special Olympics coach.
Saturday was my own personal Special Olympics. I am quite upset about the interaction with Rob. I spent the morning reading in a new book: The Laws of Form. It is really good, and I hope to actually understand it someday. In the afternoon Andrea and I went to Matt Reynolds wedding reception. Since many of you don't know the story, here it is in brief. Matt was one of Roice's best friends in High School. He went with us on the first Philmont Trek. He almost got sent home with his corn cob pipe before we even got there. Matt was a drummer and into drugs. He ended up joining the church, and serving a Spanish Speaking mission to New York City. Before he left his Dad ran off with a New Zealand woman, his Mom and Dad got divorced, and while he was gone, I Home Taught his Mom as a Stake Missionary, even though she was not a member. His Mom and Dad got back together, and Matt was allowed to leave the mission field and come home for a weekend to attend their remarriage. And the reception was to celebrate Matt marrying Megan Van Voorhis, a return missionary, in the Columbus, Ohio, LDS Temple. Isn't it interesting how we each have our own weaknesses to face up to, and how as we do we become strong. I hope each of us do well, as we each knowingly or not participate in our own personal Special Olympics."