Deaths and a Birth

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Dear Paul, Melanie, Bridget, Rob, Ben and Sarah, Sara, Heather and Nate Pace, Audrey, Rachel, and Matt via hardcopy,

cc: file, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner. and Diane Cluff.

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"I will remember this week because of two deaths and a birth. In my weekly call to Mom last Sunday I learned that Dad's partner in Nelson Meat Packing Plant, Bob Goodwin, had died. Last week Les Denham called to tell me his twin brother John's wife Jane had died. I had tried to call and wish my condolances last week, and didn't get through to anyone at the apartment in Melbourne, Australia until one night this week. Saturday afternoon my friend at work called to tell us he has a new baby daughter Sophia, born at 4:00 AM by cesearian section because of fetal stress after 19 hours of labor. Mom and baby are fine, and the baby weighs 7 pounds 3 ounces.

Bob Goodwin was an important player in my teenage life. For the most part his example was very positive. He worked hard. I do not recall Bob swearing, like some of the other hired hands. I recall he was a fairly little man, and yet he was very strong. I recall he was charged once by a wild cow, he picked up a rock, threw it like a baseball, hit the cow square between the eyes, and dropped it dead. It was a real hastle to get the truck out to the field, load the cow on the truck, and get it in on the killing floor. I remember the day I had to kill the steer I had raised from a milk bottle (../9644.html). Bob was the one who said to me when I came back in, `I thought I was going to have to go out and shoot that one.' He was the only one who noticed how hard that job was for me. As I read his obituary (../gifs/BobGoodwinObituary.jpg), I realized he got sealed for time and eternity in the temple about this same time this happened. Bob was consistant. He was at work every day, and he worked hard. On reflection, I'm sure his example is one of the reasons I know how to work. He was Dad's friend and confidant.

One of the real highlights I remember was our fishing trip to Puffer Lake. Almost every summer Dad would take me, and sometime me and Sara, and we would go with Bob and some of his kids up the Beaver Mountains and camp at Puffer Lake. These were good times. We played in the water. Got cuts on our feet and got them bandaged. Carved our names in the trees. Told stories. Caught fish. Once a storm came up and we kept fishing and we ran out of bait so we used fish entrails as bait and kept catching fish. Once we got to one of the little lakes below Puffer Lake just as the trout were biting and I think Dad and I pulled in 15 reasonable sized trout each in about an hour. Bob Goodwin was always jealous of that stop. And there were negatives, like happens in our interactions with almost everyone. Sometimes, in fact often, there are problems even with our best friends. It is key to remember that if these folks really are our best friends, the problems are just temporary. We always need to take the long view. Which is hard to do in the fire of the moment. It was my impression Bob always saw me as a wimp, the spoiled bosses kid. I don't remember what words he used back between 1962 and 1969. I do know that I have spent too much of my life proving to myself (and those who used to call me a wimp) that in fact I am a man. I would not be suprised to learn Bob taught me the word emasculate. He certainly helped me understand the emotion. The last time I saw him, and after telling him a little bit about what I had been doing, including being the father to six children, I distinctly remember the way he said, `I didn't think you had it in you.' And as I looked at the funeral program (../gifs/BobGoodwinProgram.jpg), which Sara sent me, I found myself proud of Bob, remembering the good times, and saying to myself `I didn't think you had it in you.'

John Denham and I became good friends the first time we met, as I described in the Thoughtlet, Friends (../9813.html). He likes to talk. I like to listen. Maybe it is his Australian accent. Maybe it is his Southern Utah type of drawl, which is really from the Australian outback. When we first met, I learned he had been divorced for several years. I never pursued why, and had wondered over the years what happened, especially since he is such a nice guy. Once he mentioned he spent a lot of time building his boat, and his wife felt he was more in love with it than with her. I remember a few years later when he introduced me to Jane. Jane was a government regulator, and her and John were wonderful together. Jane's son Simon had joined the LDS Church, and was no longer active. I visited them in Menbourne. They visited us here several times. We send Christmas cards and talk on the phone. I have a standing invitation to take all of you to Australia and to go sailing with John. They visited Southern Utah, and Uncle Glenn did Dutch Oven and steaks for them out at Grafton. I have in my mind they met Uncle Tony also.

Jane had been ill for several years. I forget what, but it was something like multiple sclerosis. which is an abnormal hardening of the arteries. After John left BHP (Broken Hill Proprietary, the largest company in Australia, where he was the Chief Geophysicist), they moved back to the ranch. When he had lunch with Rob and I he showed us pictures of the house they built, the water system they put up, all of the kangaroos they have to contend with, and his family. My friendship with John is the key reason I have continued to hold in there with one of my Landmark software licenses at Interactive Interpretation & Training (II&T). Andrea and I got hold of him one night this week and wished our condolances and introduced him over the phone to her. He is a such a good man, and it hurts to see a friend in pain. He told us that just before Jane went in the hospital this last time she got all of the family together and had a family portrait made. After our call he sent me a copy of the photo (../gifs/DenhamJJ.jpeg) with the following description:

`Roice, As I promised you by phone, attached is a recent photo of our family. This was taken at Jane's request about a week before she went into hospital. I think she probably had a premonition. In the photo are myself and Jane, Raymond (bearded), Petra (fair) and Sarah-Jane, Simon and Donna. Raymond's University graduation is next Thursday, and after that we will be going back home, probably on Monday or Tuesday. We will be getting our email except while travelling, and possibly even then. regards, John'

Death is not part of our everyday life, and to have 2 deaths of close acquaintances within a week seemed like a worthy topic to write a little bit about. As firm as my faith in the purpose of life and the promise of the ressurrection, it is good to take a few moments regularly and to contemplate how we are doing and the perspective of our lives stand in an eternal spectrum. It is so easy to get caught up in day to day activities, to forget that death comes to all of us, and particularly to not find eternal joy in the limited time we have. These thoughts certainly come home as I contemplate the activities of this last week.

Monday I went in the office early to work on the seminar I am putting on on the 19th of October. Over the weekend I had arranged a meeting between Chuck Edwards and Continuum's investor Kjell Finstad. I had a meeting with Calvin Stout and Dr. Grote about the Peru gold dredging opportunity, which David Devor introduced. Jeff Hume, Kjell Finstad, and I had a meeting in the afternoon about the status of Continuum, and then we had a dinner in the evening. I will wait until it all shakes out to describe all that is happening. It is not all the basis of eternal joy. I got home about 10:30.

Tuesday I went in after dropping off Rachel at Seminary. I worked on several things until about 9:00, and then went downtown to the SPE Convention. At about 10:30 I met with C.E.S. folks in the offices of II&T, and we met with the principals of CEX at 11:00 to talk about the evolver concept, and specifically what Steve Joseph is calling the PDP/PUD Investment Fund, where PDP means `Proved Developing Production' and PUD means `Proved UnDeveloped.' I was back in the office for an update from Jeff from 1:45-3:30. Then I met the C.E.S. principals and Merlin Fish at Rick Zimmerman's office to discuss the PDP/PUD Investment Fund. We had a nice dinner with Chuck Edwards and Merlin, a long conversation in the parking lot, and a long phone call with Rick Zimmerman. I got home about 11:30.

Wednesday morning was more of the same. Roger, Steve, and I had lunch with Rick Zimmerman to follow-up on the previous day's discussions. I got back in the middle of the SPE Open House. It went very well, and shows Continuum is becoming a real company. At the end of the Open House I spent an hour talking to Dr. Robert Withers, formerly of Arco about opportunities for Continuum in Venezuela. This conversation will continue on Monday. I got home in time to go to Young Men's. The Venturing Crew played tennis. Of those who came, I was the only one who knew the rules. It reminded me of high school days and when Randy Shirts and I played tennis and would joke about `Love-15' and `45-Love.' I enjoyed the evening, and think it would be fun to get back into playing tennis regularly. Any takers? Matt, Rachel, Rob, Andrea?

Thursday started with our sales forecast meeting. Other than the trend on billings being down each month for the last six months, this meeting is turning out to be very upbeat. It is exciting being part of an international company which is doing very exciting things in London, Perth, and Houston. I read my calendar wrong (I do believe I have some kind of vertical dislexia) and went to a GSH Board Meeting which doesn't occur until next Thursday morning. Roger came by in the afternoon and we had a conversation with Peter Duncan about the real value of Continuum Resources. Most of the day was spent working on the Seminar. I made it home in time to take Matt to soccer practice. Allergies (../9738.html) are flairing up, and I ended up sleeping in the car during practice. Also probably wiped out because of the rest of the week.

Friday the Developer's Meeting was canceled. Andrea and I had our second meeting with all of Matt's teachers. He and we could use your prayers as he gets on track at school and we find ways we can help him. Good teachers, and they really care about how he is doing. I dropped Andrea off at the house, and as I turned the corner one of the High Priests in the quorum turned and so we stopped to talk to each other. He is having significant challenges with one of his sons, and was home because of this. It was a mini-miracle for each of us to `happen' to turn so our cars were next to each other, just when we needed to each talk to someone else strugging and realize life continues. Peter Duncan gave the CoRe Exchange presentation, and it certainly kept up the one week old tradition of my song and dance (9940.html last week. In the evening was a ward party. There were a lot of activities for little kids, and Andrea and the Young Women had put most of these together. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Matt and I had our first altercation, and we seemed to be back on track Saturday after his soccer game. I spent most of the rest of Saturday rearranging the photos at http://www.walden3d.com/photos, as Rob had asked me to some time ago. I also loaded 70 photos from our wedding and reception, and have loaded 298 photos from our honeymoon as of 3:00 Sunday afternoon (337 photos as of 10:10 PM Sunday). Fun memories, and I expect you all will enjoy them, particularly the ones you are in.

This afternoon Sarah and Ben came by to visit. Thanks guys. It was sure good to see you. I am starting to understand why my Dad didn't ever say much. The heart gets too full and chokes the vocal chords. Also Melanie came by and sang for us, gave us a hug, told us how happy she is in her new apartment and with her new roommates, and generally left us feeling upbeat. Thanks Melanie. It is good to see you so happy. Pace yourself and budget all aspects of your life: time, space, dollars, studies, work, prayers, friends, etc.

After Melanie left for her friend Tricia's missionary open house, Andrea and I went down to Memorial City Hospital to see Steve, Connie, and Sophia Emma Slawson. It has only been a few weeks ago since I asked everyone to pray for Sophia Emma Slawson (9932.html). And now there is this brand new beautiful baby. She is so tiny, and so cute. However, she does look like her Dad. Connie's Mom flew up from Caracas to spend a month, and Steve's Mom drove down from Dallas to spend a week. We had a wonderful visit.

As we left the hospital, I couldn't help but think about birth statistics in Europe and Japan (both approaching 2 deaths for each new birth) and how population experts are projecting serious decreases in the populations of many countries around the world. I recall a lunch once when I was running the Seismic Acoustics Laboratory at the University of Houston and one of the very senior scientists learned I fathered six children. He immediately went on the attack, asking me why I felt I deserved to have so many children, when there is such a serious population overload around the earth. One of the other scientists at the table called him by name and said, `Roice's kids are just smarter than yours, so don't worry about it.' As I look at the selfishness of many of my contempories in regards to taking on the responsibility of a family, I simply feel sorry for them. As I struggle with and have opportunities to enjoy you kids, I am so thankful for the teachings of the prophets and apostles, for my testimony, and for the opportunity to provide service to those I truly love. I hope that when you each come across deaths, particularly of folks you care about, that you will each remember we will see our friends again in the spirit world and after the ressurrection, thanks to our Savior. And I hope you will find another friend, like Steve and Connie, who are making the commitments to be a complete family and to bring another life into the world to help make it a better place for all of us and our descendents."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 1999 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.