I

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Dear Paul, Melanie, Roice, Bridget, Rob, Ben and Sarah, and Sara,

cc: file, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner. Diane Cluff, and Heather and Nate Pace

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"I plan to write two thoughtlets this week to make up for not sending one out last week. In thinking what to write about, it seems good to use `I,' one of biggest letters and smallest words in the English language, as my theme.

I recall how English teachers taught me to not use this little word in my writing. Egotistical, self-centered, self-promoting, turning others off of what is being attempted to be communicated, etc. were the reasons given for not using the word I in writing. So for years I would go back through documents I wrote and take out the `I's.' Looking back on those efforts, my conclusion is the writing became impersonal. It became a kind of watered down version of what I am all about.

You can not say `I believe' without the word `I.' What is in our heart and mind raises us above the animals and helps us be human beings. Animals eat, sleep, have sex, and meet the requirements forced by their basic appetites. As people, we become more like animals when we don't control our appetites, particularly when we give up our self control to stimulants and depressants like sugar, chocolate, excessive food, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc. We are all guilty of some overindulgence. Just look at my waist line. Some of us choose the sins with more visible consequences than others do. And, on reflection, this self-centeredness is the `I' which my English teachers were trying to exorcize from my writing.

Each week I write out things that are important to me. Since I am motivated by accomplishment, this normally includes journal entries. For instance, last week I mentioned making a presentation titled `Immersive Collaboration' at the Landmark Technology Forum on Tuesday. Tuesday evening I got my living ordinance temple recommend from Bishop Daniels. On Wednesday I went back over to the Landmark Technology Forum and listened to Dennis McMullin and others talk about their recent work in Knowledge Management. In the afternoon there was a senior management meeting to start to formalize Continuum's Corporate Strategy. Wednesday evening I met with the Stake President, President Jones, and got the final signature for my temple wedding for time and eternity to Andrea. Thursday I had an extended phone conversation with Richard Nehring about marketing his data base. In the afternoon we had meetings with a group called Chroma Graphics, who have developed some pattern finding algorithyms, which look very interesting. Friday morning we had a breakfast meeting about the Corporate Strategy from 7-10:00. It is really exciting to me to see a company matuare and become real. From there I went to the new center and gave demonstration for the Andrew's Group, which are now part of Core Labs. They have interest in putting 5 centers in Mexico. It was a neat meeting. Following this meeting I spent a couple of hours with Louise Durham, who is writing an article on Immersion for the AAPG Explorer. We joked about it being my last lunch as a single man, and with a good looking single woman. I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on e-mails and other stuff getting ready to be gone for a week. The folks at the office gave me a bad time about leaving Houston so late for my wedding.

Sara and Rob got to the office right at 5:00 and we took off for Hobby Airport in two cars. There were problems with the Talon, and she almost didn't make it. Also the Tollroad was blocked off going south, and we ended up going in on I-59, down 610 to Astroworld, and south on I-45. We got to the airport in time to get boarding passes 69, 70, and 71. When we got to Las Vegas there was no Roice, Ben, and Sarah. We looked everywhere. About an hour later we found them. It was almost 2:00 AM by the time we got to Cedar City and Sara's house. I slept well.

Paul came over at 7:00 to go to the fundraising breakfast for Sara's friend who was hurt on a mountain bike. Andrea and her Mom came and picked me up at 7:35 AM to go to St. George. We got to the temple at 8:30, and were greeted by Sister Graff, who was so excited to meet the lady giving up an `i' for her marriage (Nielson to Nelson). There is a lot of symbolism in this concept, and this is the reason I selected I as my theme for this week. Going from I to we is a key part of making a marriage work. Becoming we means there are things necessary to give up. The New Testament records three times when the Savior taught us:

`And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be case into hell.' Matthew 5:29 (see also Matthew 18:9 and Mark 9:47).

So Andrea and I became we on Saturday morning. The ceremony was simple. The room was packed with people in all different colors of clothing. I didn't realize you could get married in the temple and not all be in white. Grandma Hafen sat next to me, and Mrs. Shirts sat next to Andrea. Paul and Randy Shirts were witnesses. Following the ceremony at the alter, we exchanged rings, and then were able to talk to and give a hug to everyone who came. Andrea's brother Robert said to me afterwards, `Who are all of these people?' Mike Reed flew in from Mexico City. Ed Gray drove down from Woods Cross. Some of Andrea's missionary companions flew down. All four of her brothers were there. There were more than 60 people in the sealing room. It was a wonderful experience, and the spirit bore witness to me this is the right thing for us to do.

We went outside and took pictures. Andrea says they turned out really good. We were late getting to the wedding lunch in the St. George Opera House. When we came in everyone clapped and I was embarrassed. We went around to each of the tables and talked to everyone that came. It was neat to be surrounded by family and friends. Bridget, Brian, Sara, and friends played some wonderful music during the lunch. It was a really good lunch. Roice and I took Mom back down to Porter's, and by the time we got back up to the Opera House everyone had left. Andrea and I went over to talk to Grandma Hafen, and back to say goodbye to Mom. When we got back to Cedar I went to the store, where I saw Mrs. Platt, the former Mrs. Leonard who gave me allergy shots each week for over 6 years, and Andrea got stuff together and packed. We were an hour late getting to Meadow Glen for pictures. We left Andrea's car in the parking lot at the movie theater so it would not get painted. No one found it, although there was some serious looking. Again, the pictures really turned out nice, and we will have proofs for any of you that want copies. Steve Shirts and his band played wonderful music. Paul, Jay, and Brandon all took turns helping the band. The weather was perfect, there were lots of people I hadn't seen since the 1960's who came by. It was a perfect evening to seal turning I into we. Thanks to all of you for making the effort to come to Utah. We really appreciate your support. As each of you mature your individual I's, we look forward becoming more involved with each other and becoming more interdependent we's."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 1999 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.