cc: file, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, Lloyd and Luana Warner. Diane Cluff, Andrea Shirts, and Heather and Nate Pace
"Bridget and Diane, I guess you are the only two I'm sending this Thoughtlet to who I havn't told Andrea said yes when I asked her to marry me last Saturday. Now you know about the engagement. When I called Ben last night to talk about plane tickets to Utah, he said he was worried when there wasn't a Thoughtlet yesterday morning. He thought my plans might have all blown up in my face. It has been an extremely hectic weekend, and I choose to sleep on the way back to Houston rather than try to be coherent and use the computer for more than just a presentation device. Then last night after work was Family Home Evening, marriage counseling, talking to Ken Turner and his friend, and finalizing plans for helping you kids get to know Andrea and her children. So here it is Tuesday night and I am writing my Sunday Thoughtlet. Oh well!
Last week we had our first Continuum Resources Technology Summit. Energy Innovations has done this every January for several years. In fact, about three years ago I had an engagement as a speaker for one day of the Energy Innovations Technology Meeting, talking about the Knowledge Management stuff I have been working on. This year was a little less formal. There were lectures about where we are going by several of us on Monday. Dinner at Chiracco's Monday evening. A breakfast meeting of the UH `Center for Human Computation Interface' at 8:00 AM Tuesday. A presentation by Bowen, a physical exam for my $2 million company insurance policy (I'm definitly worth more dead than alive), and working groups the rest of the day. The evening was spent packing, and doing laundary. Wednesday morning started with a 6-8:00 breakfast meeting about the Evolver with Roger Anderson and Gary Crouse. This was followed with working groups, and then I left for the airport and for Seattle at 1:30 PM.
Tuesday night was one of the epiphany events which infrequently happen in our engagement with life. I had been calling you kids since Sunday to tell you my plans to ask Andrea to marry me, and felt the conversations had gone very well with each of you. I won't repeat the comments, because I don't want to embarrass anyone (especially me). Sara came over for dinner Tuesday and we had a good discussion. Then she left for a talent show, and I realized I hadn't picked up my clean and ironed shirts from the laundary. Having anticipated a lack of time, I remembered I had sat them on the couch on Monday evening and asked Paul to take them over to the Laundromat for me. Then Tuesday morning I had gone up to his room and asked him again. Paul, I'm sorry I got upset when you told me the shirts didn't get to the cleaners until about 1:30 PM and wouldn't be ready until Wednesday afternoon after I was on the plane to Seattle. Thanks to PAIRS I stopped and thought through what had happened and tried to figure out what I was afraid of. Paul, my epiphany was I realized you are much more important than having a clean shirt for the Boeing meetings, or a clean shirt to go to the temple on Saturday morning. I also realized that my passion (a nicer word than anger) has sometimes kept me from seeing how important you kids are to me in times when I don't have control or are otherwise afraid. I thought about the options and went and bought three shirts, two neckties for me, and a peace offering red necktie with elephants on it for Paul. I'm sorry this type of insight didn't come 10 years ago. It has never been my intention to offend or upset. I realize I have lashed out at my fears in the past, and sometimes you kids have been in the way. Again, I'm sorry. It is my intention to improve now that I recognize how this engagement can happen.
I slept on the flight to Seattle. The meetings with Roger on Wednesday evening and with Boeing on Thursday and Friday were wonderful. We did have a little bit of an issue when we first started. One of the Boeing guys lost his temper and did his best to make sure Roger and I were put in our place. It was kind of a second witness for my epiphany about letting fears come out as anger. Roger said he was about to walk out and go back to New York. However, I just talked to the guy and ignored his anger, figuring he was probably worried about losing his job. Boeing proceeded to bring in about 20 people, in shifts, to tell us about Boeing technologies. The technologies are good, and an engagement of sincere interest developed over the day. We had a wonderful salmon dinner on the waterfront overlooking the Seattle skyline. The senior executive with us races hydroplane boats and has 100 speed records. The discussions were direct and of great interest to all. It sure looks to me like we are going to have some interesting business with Boeing over the next few years. We'll see.
On the way back to Houston I bought Andrea a night T-shirt with a big label across the front: `Sleepless in Seattle.' Matt and Andrea picked me up at the airport in Cedar City. We dropped off Matt and visited Andrea's good friends and sort of `other set of parents:' Stan and Barbara Shakespeare. They had to check me out. They are home on a short break from teaching English in China for BYU. They are in their 3rd year in China, and Andrea and her good friend Carol (their daughter) visited them in China last year. I put on my missionary name tag as we went in, and guess I passed the inspection, at least on this first engagement. When we got back to Andrea's house I asked Racheal to come downstairs (Audrey was at a High School basketball game and dance), had Matt take the camera, gave Andrea the `Sleepless' shirt, and as she was looking at it gave her my first kiss.
Saturday morning we left Cedar about 7:00 and went to the 8:30 Endowment Session at the St. George Temple. I enjoy the temple and feel at home there. After we had sat in the Celestial Room for quite a while, and just as Andrea was ready to say `Let's go,' I took the pearl ring she wore off of her ring finger and was playing with it. Then instead of putting it back on, I replaced it with the engagement ring and asked her if she will marry me. It was nice. She said `Yes.' We talked for quite a while longer before we went downstairs. The ring has a second part that is two bands with diamonds on, which cradle the engagement ring. I left it in my changing locker and had to go back in the temple to get it. We took a couple of digital pictures in front of the North Stairs on the East Side of the Temple (http://www.walden3d.com/photos/engagement...). Then we went to Porter's and told Mom, and took her to lunch at Cafe Basilas. We went to Grandma Hafen's, and she had company. She looked at the rings together and said Andrea might end up being called a `rich bitch.' I hope everyone realizes how broke I really am, especially compared to a few years ago. We had a nice conversation with Russell and Marilyn Shirts, Andrea's oldest brother. We stopped and saw Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Luana in Bloomington, and also Claude and Katherine. It was fun to have Andrea and Katherine talking Japanese. We also stopped and saw Uncle Toney and Buela. Then drove to Cedar to see Andrea's good friend Carol Hulet, then her brother Steve and his family. By the time we got back to her house it was time to go to the celebration dinner, which had been coordinated by cell phone. Sara, Des, and Brian, Andrea's Mom, Russell, Marilyn, and their son Dan, Andrea's children Matt, Rachel, and Audrey, as well as Heather and her husband Nate Pace joined with us for dinner at Rusty's. It was a fun evening.
Sunday we started talking about PAIRS (we decided we will wait until after Andrea has moved to Houston and then take the PAIRS relationship course together in the fall). We talked about how to help our kids to know each other, and started planning for a trip to Disneyland in March, a trip to Utah at Easter, and a trip to Utah for the wedding in May. Then we went to Andrea's ward, ate lunch, talked some more, planned some more, kissed some more, and Andrea dropped me off at the Cedar City Airport. As you kids know, I have always tried to not travel on Sundays, and it looks like over the next three months we will be doing and paying for a lot of travel on Sundays. It is not easy to pull this all together and to still need to keep a vacation budget and keep everyone from missing very much school. In fact, budget promises to be the big issue for us to work out over the first few years after the engagement. Oh well!
I was absolutely wiped out when I got on the plane, and I slept like a log to Salt Lake. I ate a pizza, and propped my feet up on the computer and fell asleep by the gate. I woke up as the flight was suppose to leave, and there was no one at the gate. I ran to the monitors and it said the flight to Houston was closed. I went to the nearest gate and asked about Houston, and they pointed me across the corridor. The plane hadn't left, and I got on in plenty of time. However, I certainly had fear of a failed engagement for a few minutes. There were not very many passengers on the plane, and so I had three seats to myself. I was sound asleep before the plane took off. When I got back to the house I went through the mail and notes Sister Grua had left me, and got to bed at 2:30 AM. Monday was mostly a catch-up day at work. And I have already written about the Monday evening engagements."
