Curfew

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Dear Paul, Paul, Ben and Sarah, and Melanie,

cc: file, Grandma Hafen via Tony Hafen, Pauline Nelson via mail, Sara and Des Penny, Claude and Katherine Warner, and Lloyd and Luana Warner.

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"Melanie, when you woke me up at 1:30 Friday morning I was in a very deep sleep. I tend to be intense durning the day, especially these days, and when I go to sleep, I go to sleep. Particularly during my teenage years, there was always a lot to do during the day, and when it was time to sleep, I slept. There was also a curfew in my community and in my home (for example .../9829.html).

I remember the night Steve Lovell was down at the Lower Plant when it caught on fire from an electrical short. Steve was one of the hired hands who slept on the lower bed in my room for a long time. My bedroom was the first one on the left going down to your Grandma's room. The one with cars on the wall. We had tile floors. The bottom bed rolled out from underneath the upper bed. Ray Gardner slept on this bed my second year of college when we lived in the Phi Sigma Kappa Fraternity House, Riley Skeen my third year of college, and this bed was part of the oak furniture your Mom finally got rid of after we moved to Houston. Anyway, I had worked all day, had gone to sleep, and Steve Lovell's new wife came in and tried to wake me up to go with the fire truck and show them where the Lower Plant was. She could not wake me up. I just turned over with `Your kidding!' I don't know if she ended up throwing water on my face or what. I do remember Mom and Dad were not home, I remember getting up, I remember riding on the fire truck to the Rendering Plant, and I remember Steve had put the fire out before it got into all of the wood of the grainery. I also remember it happened after my body's curfew, maybe 9:30 or 10:00 at night.

Maybe being woke up out of such a deep sleep was one of the reasons I always reacted so strongly to the possiblity of a fire being set at the house? Paul, I'm sure you remember the night you refused to say you had started the fire in the driveway, and you and all of your siblings were punished. I now recognize this was because of my fears. Maybe being woke up out of such a deep sleep was one of the reasons I have always felt so strongly about having a curfew for you kids? Melanie, I'm sure you were not pleased with my strong reaction to you and Marie and three returned missionaries wanting to go for a swim at 1:30 in the morning. Maybe being woke up out of such a deep sleep is the reason Benjaman Franklin's words, as I recall quoted in his almanac and biography, made such an impact on me when I read them? The words were `Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.' Maybe being woke up out of such a deep sleep was the reason one of the revelations in the Doctrine and Covenants makes so much sense to me? The word curfew summarizes the concept to me. The Lord's words in D&C 88:123-125 are:

`See that ye love one another; cease to be covetous; learn to impart one to another as the gospel requires. Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated. And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.'

One of my Dad's strongest teaching moments related to curfew. I had taken Allison's little sister (I'm getting old and can not remember names) on a double date with Charles Garfield. It was the only time I drove as far as Parowan to pick up a girl and take her on a date back in Cedar. We went to a movie and I drove the Red Apple (.../9731.html and .../9820.html). The movie was one of the classics, `Fiddler on the Roof' or `My Fair Lady.' I had had problems with chores (feeding the cattle or something) and was late. I remember driving way too fast the 18 miles from Parowan back to Enoch to pick up Charlie. I remember enjoying the movie. I remember dropping off Chalie's date in Cedar, dropping off Charlie on the Midvally Road, and driving over to Parowan. I remember parking in front of her house, talking, kissing, steaming up the windows, and her Mom coming and knocking on the window and telling us it was time for her to come in the house. I remember driving back down Highway 91 (this was before I-15), down the Midvalley Road, and up The Union Field Lane (also the Minersville Road) to my parents house. Dad was waiting for me by the back door. I never did ask him if my date's mother called and complained. His question was `Why are you so late?' Being quick to respond I said, `I had to take Charlie home?' He said `Then why did you just drive straight up the Lane?' I was caught in a lie, like when Big Roice and stole the Jello from Grandma Nelson (.../9716.html). I was obviously embarrassed. Nothing else was said. I never broke curfew again.

Every once in a while I feel like I am taught something by the spirit. In Utah a few weeks ago I was asked if my younger kids live with me. I listened to myself respond, `No, they don't want to live with me because I make them keep a curfew!' I'm sorry I have not done as well as my Dad in teaching you kids the importance of boundaries, making your mind up once and not having to redecide every time someone places a temptation in your pathway, or it is curfew time. To me it is so simple. If one always keeps the standards the prophets have taught us, we don't have to ask for money for a new swimming suit to go to a church party, we don't have issues with police who are enforcing a local curfew we didn't know about, etc. The same kind of issues face us each day in work, school, or play. The $300,000 issue I mentioned last week is one such example. It was very hard for me to write an e-mail to my partner specifying concerns, then to meet with him and review those concerns in detail, and then to have two separate meetings with two separate groups of lawyers to work on solving the issues. However, like keeping a reasonable curfew, it is much better to get the kind of issues we are working on out on the table up front, than it is to let them fester and boil over months or years later.

Most of Monday was spent with the Geophysical Integration Committee in an annual planning meeting which we hosted at the VETL. Following the meeting there was a long heart-to-heart talk with Bowen Loftin. Monday evening, after Family Home Evening, I finished writting the e-mail referred to above, and I forwarded it early Tuesday morning. This resulted in a two+ hour meeting Tuesday morning, which went very well, and was very hard for me. I had a great lunch with one of my Jewish friends on Tuesday. Wednesday was the first meeting with the lawyers. We also put together a letter to help a new Ph.D. get an exemption for obtaining U.S. Residency because of the impact his work with Continuum Resources can have on National Security. Thursday John and I visited the Houston Geology Society's TechnoFest and reviewed how several products there can fit into Continuum. One of my friends asked, in a prelimiary way, if I would be interested in being the SEG's Distinguished Lecturer starting in September of 1999. This would be a great honor, and would involve giving full day workshops in over 20 cities around the world on 5 continents. If it happens, it is too bad I don't have a travelling companion (.../9828.htlm). Friday was a nice lunch with a German friend, a meeting with a partner downtown about the future of this partnership, and a big follow-up meeting with 4 lawyers and two partners on the 24th floor of the Pennzoil Building. I tried to go see `The Mask of Zorro' in the evening, and it was sold out again. So I went `Ever After.' It is absolutely wonderful. Probably is as good as `The Princess Bride' and is certianly the same flavor of a movie. I still made it back to the house well before curfew.

Melanie, thanks for helping me get the upstairs cleaned up for my first hosted PAIRS party. No one went upstairs. I had the people who did the yard clean up all of the weeds and plant flowers. After the fact, I wonder if anyone even noticed. There were about half as many people as I expected attend. I did dutch oven and steaks, salad and bread, and there is a bunch of pop still in the fridge. The ones who came were great. Two couples, one lady who has married since PAIRS with her 20 year old son, one friend with his 11 year old daughter, and the two instructors came. It was a fun evening. I really do enjoy putting on a dutch oven party (.../9737.html) for friends. There was a lot left over. Brandon Peterson's homecoming was today. He gave a wonderful talk and sounds like he had a great mission. Matt Reynolds came to church and I had him over to eat a steak and give him some Dutch Oven potatoes for lunch. The Grua's also stopped and got a plate full of potatoes. There are still a whole bunch here, so Melanie, bring your friends over and eat them all up. Larry can't eat them because of the spices. And I don't eat much in the evenings these days, since I usually go out for a large lunch. I really do look forward to doing having Dutch Oven parties for you kids and your kids. Maybe the reason I look forward to it is because I know this kind of party always ends well before my curfew."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. To download any of these thoughtlets go to http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets or e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 1998 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.