Repent.

. . .

Dear Roice, Ben, Paul, Melanie, Sara, and Rob,

cc: file, Mom, Sara and Des, Lloyd and Luana Warner, Darrell and Nancy Krueger, Diane Cluff, Tony Hafen, Claude and Katherine Warner, Forest and Amy Warner, Ivan and Chell Warner, and Eric and Renee Miner

Welcome to "Thoughtlets." This is a weekly review of an idea, belief, thought, or words that will hopefully be of some benefit to you, my children, with an electronic copy to on-line extended family members. Any of you can ask me not to clutter your mail box at any time.

"It was a good week for me. Hope it was for each of you. I was very touched by Cousin Di's almost immediate Responselet on my screen early Monday morning: (http://www.walden3d.com/hrnmen/9715a.html). Monday was spent in Bartlesville, where the Virtual Environment Technology Laboratory had set up a 1 wall 3-D display demonstration room for Oracle to support the celebration of 100 years since oil was discovered in Oklahoma. Besides meeting Daniel Yurgen (author of `The Prize' about the history of the oil and gas industry) and opening the door to doing consulting work with his firm, the contacts at Oracle are expressing some interest in purchasing HyperMedia technologies. Wouldn't it be nice to get a return on all of the investment and work put into HyperMedia? Tuesday was spent talking to the administrators at Briarwood, where we hope Rob can start High School next year, and having more tests run on my shoulder (the one which was dislocated at Christmas and continues to cause me problems at the workstation, typing, writing, and sleeping). According to the test interpretation, it looks like it is just a stretched nerve, and there is a pretty good probability my arm will stop hurting and function normally.

There were some challenges. Like Tuesday night I came home to Sara with a bloody nose which wouldn't stop bleeding and she was suppose to be to the National Honor's Society Induction at Taylor High School in 10 minutes. But even this turned out to be a nice experience. I asked her if she would like a blessing and she said yes. Afterwards she asked me to go to the school and talk to her teacher. By the time I got back her nose stopped bleeding, she was ready, and I took her to the school on my way to Stake Missionary splits.

Work in Austin went well on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. We are doing some very detailed sequence stratigraphy interpretation, and it is a very complicated puzzle. We are using HyperMedia's HyperEdge to document the results and make figures for the report. Corpoven was very impressed in our presentations the previous Thursday and Friday. I had a nice dinner with Roice on Wednesday night at Bennigan's. Spent a couple of hours Thursday night on the phone finalizing two days consulting at The Covey Leadership Center in Provo the end of this next week. They are quite interested in some of the methodologies and technologies we developed at HyperMedia. Friday I had a nice Mexican dinner (surprise, surprise) with Ben and Sarah. I brought Roice and Ben's paintings back to Houston and gave them to Ken Turner on Saturday for his Art Show at the Columbus Art Center which starts on Friday the 2nd of May (http://www.walden3d.com/w3d/prime_words/paintings/paintings.html). Saturday Energy Innovations had a nice company picnic at Memorial Park. I spent some time with Bill Bavinger reviewing a test we are doing on the visualization of production. Saturday evening was spent helping Ken Turner and Reggie Leathers finalize Ken's new web pages (http://www.walden3d.com/hgol).

I also read a chapter in a book by LDS Counselors on marriage. The theme of this chapter is what I have chosen to write about this evening. I will be quoting liberally from C. Richard Chidester from the University of Utah Institute of Religion (noting scriptures he quoted). Once again, it struck home with me all I have done to contribute to the pain our family is going through now. I took very personally his quoting the scriptural admonition to `Say nothing but repentance to this generation' (D&C 6:9). When I read how Samuel the Lamanite promised `Faith and repentance bringeth a change of heart' (Helamen 15:7) there were feelings of hope and like it is time to get after life again and to stop feeling so down. The chapter pointed out how we always have two choices:

  1. to acknowledge our wrongdoing and repent; or
  2. to blame others for our circumstances.

I made a list of things I have and have need to acknowledge and repent of, which were discussed in the chapter:

The positive side of this list is I know how much better of a person I am than I was a year ago. I also know I was not a terrible person a year ago. But as I read I recognized how we all have a need to constantly reevaluate, to re-repent, `and become as a little child' (3 Nephi 11:38) full of persistence, forgiveness, unconditional love, trust, striving to please, imitating, and with no desire for wealth, nor social aspirations nor ambitions. Repentance is a spiritual solution when we find we are not walking in the light, but in darkness, and following the devil, `who is the father of contention' (3 Nephi 11:29). Nephi explained that `the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center' (1 Nephi 16:2), but `the righteous fear not [the words of truth], for they love truth and are not shaken' (2 Nephi 9:40). I heard again what you kids and your Mom have been telling me for years, namely a need for a change of heart, refusing to take or give offense. A need to be `submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love' (Mosiah 3:19), to recognize truth makes us free from guilt, anxiety, and bondage, and to seek the fruits of the spirit; namely `love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance' (Galations 5:22-23).

Dr. Chidester quoted C.S. Lewis: `Repentance is no fun at all. It is something much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all of the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means killing part of yourself, undergoing a kind of death. In fact, it needs a good person to repent. And here comes the catch. Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly. The worse you are the more you need it and the less you can do it. The only person who could do it perfectly would be a perfect person - and he would not need it.' He also quoted President Ezra Taft Benson, `The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature.'

A previous time I came so face to face with the need for repentance was when Big Roice (Krueger) and I stole some jello from Grandma Nelson. I believe it was Cherry. I'm pretty sure it was bright red. Grandma did not have much money, and she was very careful in how everything was used. When she asked us if we had seen some jello she was missing, we both said `No!' She had us look at each other and stick out our tongues. I am so slow, I didn't even realize we had been caught until we were walking away and Big Roice explained to me we were in trouble. I guess I have always been a little bit slow in recognizing the need to repent. Hope you kids do not suffer from the same malady.

Sara had a dance competition today. She forgot her helmet (they are soldiers in their dance), and I drove it down to her at The University of Houston. One result was I didn't get to church until just after the sacrament was passed, and so I missed my weekly personal status review and recommitment to strive to do better (the sacrament). As I thought about all of the good things that happened on the professional front this week, my mind kept going back to the chapter I read on repentance. I want to say to you kids (and to the whole world, as far as there is any interest), I am sorry I have not been a better father. I hope you remember the good things I have done, forgive me for my mistakes, and recognize how hard I do strive to recognize and to do what is best. I will always do my very best to be here and to support and help you in whatever righteous activities you undertake. I hope your upcoming week is as good as my past week was."

I'm interested in sharing weekly a "thoughtlet" (little statements of big thoughts which mean a lot to me) with you because I know how important the written word can be. I am concerned about how easy it is to drift and forget our roots and our potential among all of distractions of daily life. If you ever want to download any of these thoughtlets, they are posted at http://www.walden3d.com/hrnmen or you can e-mail me at rnelson@walden3d.com.

With all my love,
Dad
(H. Roice Nelson, Jr.)

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Copyright © 1997 H. Roice Nelson, Jr.