Welcome to "the engines of my love," a regular review
of why I love you, Martha Ellyn Sharp Nelson, and no
other woman.
It was hard for me to drive from the airport to the house last night.
I felt so alone, so hurt, so rejected, so misjudged, and so bad. And with
the tears in my eyes and the pain in my heart, I kept thinking about how
much I do love you. Rob was snoring most of the way, but he woke up as
soon as we got to the house and he could show Dexter his cow skull. They
stayed up to watch Robin Hood.
I looked around the house for copies of the final divorce papers,
to see if everything of yours had been removed from the house, and saw
nothing to show much difference from last time I went to Austin. I have
this lingering hope you will choose to not file the divorce decree, and
will come to me and say Roice I want to work out our relationship.
As I write these words I sound like an unrealistic dreamer. I still hope.
I slept in until 7:30 this morning. When I got up, I walked around the
house. Rob was snoring on the couch, David must be upstairs, and I thought
there was no one else here. I noticed a single rose on the kitchen cabinet.
I wondered who left it there. I went into my office and I saw an orange
heart with a black outline around it. I wondered who drew it. I thought
of your heart, and the black outline represented hardness, and the orange
represented everything I love. A heart and a rose and I feel giddy with
the possibility you might have changed your mind. I am still tired.
I cleaned out my suitcase, shaved, had a shower, cut my fingernails,
toenails, and cutical, got the paper, and decided to write this Lovelet
to you. As I was working on it Rhonda came in. She only spent an hour
here because it is her's and Mike's 26th wedding anniversary and she was
leaving to spend the day together. Bottom line of her visit is it will
be really tight to make end's meet for quite some time with all of the
anticipated expenses associated with the divorce. As she left I wished
her a happy anniversary and when she was gone started to cry. I called
Pattie Dunn and asked her to find out if the divorce was finalized.
I continue to hope you changed your mind because I do love you.
Pattie just called back. I continue to hope you will change your mind,
and chase me again so I will know I can ask you to marry me again because
I do love you.
I'm interested in sharing why I love you. I know how important
the written word is to you, and if you ever feel neglected,
ignored, or unloved, and would like an up-to-date bound copy of
these lovelets or any subset of these lovelets for any purpose
you might have come to mind, please tell me or e-mail your request
to rnelson@walden3d.com with the request 'lovelet update.'
With all my love,
Roice